I can’t really go into lots of detail, but I’m caught in a bad situation and I can’t seem to get free of it. It sort of like quicksand – the more I struggle, the worse things get. I can’t seem to explain myself sufficiently to those who need to understand, and then my depression and anxiety come flooding in, and I just give up in a heap.
I do pray, but feel hypocritical, like I expect God to just whisk me out of this without any effort on my part.
I *am *making an effort, but it seems feeble and is apparently not enough.
Even on a non-religious level, I look at myself and think, “I’m a college-educated 42-year-old who manages all on her own, yet I can’t sort this out? What’s *wrong *with me?!” OTOH, it might partially be *because *I’m all on my own in the financial and physical senses that this is the one straw too many. I don’t know.
Your prayers would be very much appreciated. I feel like I’m whining, but I’ve been staring into space all day today at work, probably with a knitted brow, unable to concentrate, so… I’m risking sounding like a whiner.