Caught someone in the act

To make a long story short, basically, I caught someone (I am close to them, just don’t want to give any names) in the act of watching porn today.

This person claims that it was an accident, and that they were just following a link that one of their friends gave them. The video popped up on our Apple TV (For those that don’t know, you can play things from your iphone or ipad, directly to the Apple Tv, and apparently this person did this accidently). The person was in one room, and I was in another, when the video just popped up. It was only up for a second, and then disappeared.

I think the person knew they messed up, because they came directly in the room looking embarrassed. After I confronted them in private and explain to them the seriousness of this action, they REPEATEDLY claimed it was an accident. I actually believe the person, because there was no remorse whatsoever, and that is usually typical of this person when they mess up.

I am not sure what to do. Part of me believes the story, but the other part doesn’t. I guess I did what I could right? And now I just have to trust him? Any advice would be helpful

I think what you would do depends entirely on your relationship with the person. If it was my child, I would be asking more questions, such as, which friend sent it? How did they send it? I would be checking devices and probably someone would be losing some privileges for a while. If it was an adult, it’s really only your concern if it’s your husband. This is just me, but I would be asking questions about who sent it and why he is continuing to have any online contact with a person who thinks that is a reasonable thing to do. (PS- the instances of people randomly sending porn to people who didn’t ask for it are fairly rare. I would be asking my husband what on earth could make the person who sent this think that he would want to see it.)

I’ve received pornographic email, and still do, with out any prompting. It lands in my junk-mail folder and I delete without opening.

I never have anything ‘pop-up’ on my computer while surfing the internet. Maybe this is because I have good internet security with the right settings, including good pop-up blockers. Also, I’ve never searched for illicit content on-line so I’m probably not a target.

If the person you ‘caught’ is a child than their parents should be notified so that they can set up the appropriate internet security. If this happened in your home, you should do the same - no matter who it was you ‘caught’ so that it doesn’t happen again.

Please, do not shame him but pray for this person.
I was (and sometimes still) like that, I used to take my last pence to an internet café in order to view porn, used to open some pages for camouflage but the reality is otherwise, once I was caught and got kicked out of the shop.

Porn is the worse, this person needs compassion.

What is your relationship to this person?

There is really nothing that we can do other than pray for that person and urge you to d the same. I would give that person the benefit of the doubt.

Like Mary Ellen, I have received such stuff in my e-mail and don’t open it. However, note that their curious minds out there and they may “look.” You can block a lot of bad stuff so I would go that route and with prayers. Peace.

Unless you are the parent or legal guardian, it’s now between them and God…you need to accept their explanation. I assume they knew you were in the next room, so accident sounds very plausible. They need to reevaluate whose links they use in the future!

i struggle with this sin from time to time as well. i think as long as you did your part to remind him/her that its wrong then that is good enough.

don’t ‘police’ this person because struggling with sin is hard as it is. best to just pray for this person that God may give him/her more strength to overcome it.

IF the person was using YOUR computer or a SHARED computer I would put a block on the porn sites. I certainly would speak to the person about it IF you live together; especially if a spouse or family member (i.e. sibling, in-law, child, niece/nephew). IF the person is an adult I would clarify your dislike of porn and let them know that you would prefer at the very least that it NOT take place in the house.

I will certainly join my prayer with you that this person does NOT peruse such sites

If someone says something is an accident, then I would try to believe them … however, if it is your child, then further investigation would be warranted … and if it is your spouse, then further prayer is warranted. I have to give you credit for handling the situation so well … I pray I would have done the same, but something inside me is telling me that I would not have done as well as you did.

You can’t help a person who doesn’t want help. Just love them as best as you can. Maybe offer to study Catholic sexuality together to prepare for potential marriage in the future.

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