Celebrating mothers day or mass?


#1

In my country, it’s mothers day this Sunday. However, as we all know, one is supposed to go to mass on Sundays.

My mother, who unfortunately isn’t very devout, wants me and my brother go to out and eat and celebrate on Sunday. I tried to tell her that I always go to mass on Sundays, but she wasn’t happy at all, telling me things like how much she has helped me with stuff in the past, which is very true, and why then I can’t do this for her. Going to mass would be kind of un-thankful to her, if that makes sense. However, I don’t feel like I want to loose my salvation either.

I hate being in this situation. I just planned to go to mass as I always try to do, and then something like this happens. I don’t want to harm my family relations either, and my brother tells me that we as Catholics are supposed to hold up relations as well. I am not sure if this overrides mass obligation though.


#2

Is there some reason that you cannot do both? Why not simply suggest going out to eat after Mass? That seems like a perfectly reasonable request to me.

Are there Saturday Vigil Masses in Sweden? If so, then that would be another option for you.


#3

I tried to propose going out after mass, but apparently she doesn’t like the idea. I have already asked her to take me somewhere else at noon, so she doesn’t want to drive me to mass and stuff again. At least that is what she is saying.

Maybe it’s a matter of principle for her or something, I don’t know. She is very hard to argue with. It’s not getting any better since my father tried to convince me that it’s important to celebrate her and whatnot. They don’t seem very happy that I would prioritize mass before my mother, as they see it.

Unfortunately, there is only mass on Sundays where I live.


#4

Sayings on Discipleship. (Luke 14:25-27)

Great crowds were traveling with him, and he turned and addressed them, “If any one comes to me without hating his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple. Whoever does not carry his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple.* (New American Bible)

We are called to give God our first priority whenever anybody demands our love and devotion unjustly away from Him. Your mother is giving you in an unnecessary ultimatum. The only way to respond to an ultimatum is to respond in your best interest (in this case, going to mass). Offer, though, to meet your mother for brunch after mass.

There is no valid reason that you should not be able to do both, either this year or next year!


#5

<<"Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. Whoever does not take up their cross and follow me is not worthy of me.>>

Go to the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass. Christ will bless you and your mom abundantly for your sacrifice.

Do not refuse Him, for too great is His love for you.


#6

Could it be that it is a choice between Mass and where you wanted to go at noon rather than a choice between Mass and going out to eat with your Mom? Perhaps being willing to sacrifice your other plans would illustrate to your mother the importance of both her and Mass in your life.

I have no idea what your other plans are, but it seems like it could be a good alternative to me.


#7

What about anticipated Mass on Saturday? Alternatively, is there an evening Mass on Sunday or late in the afternoon you could attend?


#8

Is there Saturday vigil mass? In Canada Saturday evening mass meets Sunday obligation. I don’t understand why your mother would resent your one hour at mass. Does she resent you going to mass at all? I hope you can work this out.


#9

The Saturday vigil as others have mentioned does fulfill the Sunday obligation.


#10

This is one of those precious opportunities to witness your faith to your family.
I would try to do something with your mum on Saturday if she is not willing to bend to your attending Mass.

I missed many family events because they refused to move something off of Sunday morning. They were hostile to the Church and didn’t see why they should ‘inconvenience’ themselves by choosing a later time or Saturday morning instead. So be it. It was their lack of love that they chose a time to exclude me. Maybe your family will be more generous, or maybe they may miss you this time and be more accommodating next year. Or maybe not. God will see your faithfulness and bless you. This is your opportunity to show God that He is first in your life. It will make an impression on your family. This is part of what being salt and light to the world involves, being a witness to Christ to those who do not yet know Him.

God bless during this time of stress.


#11

For those who missed it…


#12

Agree.


#13

Yes, we are called to be faithful to our Catholic obligations, and, yes, we can quote Scripture about Jesus saying we must prefer Him to all others. However, I don’t think the OP’s first response should be to tell his mom to stick it in her eye. :stuck_out_tongue: Yes, there is the obligation to attend Mass, but maintaining the family relationship is not an insignificant consideration.

That’s why I would encourage the OP to spend some time considering any possible option that would allow for both – even if it means giving up something else that he had planned and/or would prefer to do.

And if every option has been exhausted and there really is no alternative or compromise that can be reached and he must miss the family outing, then he should make a point to honor his mother in some other way that is meaningful to her. He ought to make it clear that his mother is important to him.


#14

Zooncorp,
Are you 18 or older? Or younger?

Do your parents drive you to Mass each Sunday?

I have the impression that you want to go to Mass, do something at noon, and do something with your family to celebrate Mother’s Day. It sounds like your mother does not want to drive you to Mass, drive you to your noon event, and celebrate MD at a time which fits in with all this.

If she will drive you to Mass and take that into account when making the MD plans, then skip your noon event.

And be very gracious about this :slight_smile:


#15

Thank you everyone for taking your time posting here. I talked to my mother and sort of convinced her, in a good charitable way of course, that it is of great importance to go to mass. She actually accepted it and this time and even said later that we can do something another time instead. No bad feelings or anything, so all is good!


#16

I’m glad to hear that you two worked this out and thank you for letting us know :slight_smile:


#17

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