So, as I have mentioned, I was previously married. I went over some basics of this with the RCIA director this week and his comment was basically "Oh, this will be easy," but of course that is not the word of the Tribunal. My first spouse was not a baptized Catholic and the marriage was a civil, not a church marriage. It was also a marriage never open to the possibility of life (from his side).
However, I DO NOT WANT to anticipate the results of the Tribunal and whether a decree of nullity will be granted. When I got remarried, I was not aware that this was considered adultery by the Church. However, I now am aware of that, and I do not wish to continue in a state of grave sin.
My husband now, who is not Catholic (yet! God willing, someday), is understanding and as we only see each other rarely (different states for job reasons) we have essentially had a celibate marriage for a couple of months now. I feel that this should continue until the decree is granted... and if it is not granted, then I will have a major dilemma.
Is remaining celibate in my current marriage the right thing to do for the time being? I will also discuss this with the priest of course, but I am interested if there are any teachings on this issue. Without trying to overshare, it is a great burden to my husband as he is inclined in that area, and I feel I am denying him the marriage debt -- except that our marriage may not be valid.
It is also difficult from my perspective, as I desperately wish to be a mother and we struggled with infertility for almost 3 years before taking a break, as it were. I will be 32 soon and the possibility that I may never have children of my own breaks my heart.
But I think I know what the right thing to do is here, and that is not to continue in a state of grave (mortal?) sin. Does anyone have advice or words of support? I pray about this daily.