Celibate life under a rule without become a priest


Hello all

Hopefully one of you lovely people can help me with a question I have been pondering.

I am an orthodox Catholic - a man of 19. There is nothing that I would rather do than become a priest - there is a catch, however. I am not entirely convinced that I am straight. SSA is not something that plagues me, and in all honesty, it is not ‘deep seated’, and I think it is likely that I would be allowed in. I have never engaged in a homosexual act or become caught up in pornography. Nevertheless, I believe very strongly that Pope Benedict was right to rule out the entry of men with homosexual inclinations to the priesthood, and, consequently, I do not believe that I am called to be a priest - and what I want is very different from what I ought to do.

Instead, I am beginning university in October, where I will be studying in the UK for three years. I was hoping that somebody could answer one of the following questions to help me work out what vocation God has in store for me. At the moment I am considering Opus Dei, but I was wondering if there were any other options out there:

  • Does the restriction laid down by the previous Pope apply to becoming a brother, and not a priest, as well?
  • What other forms of celibate life are there out there according to a rule?
  • Is it possible to join some kind of a community while still at university?

Many thanks!



Why do you want to join an institution with lots of men when you admit that you’re not entirely straight. It’s a recipe for trouble.


first and foremost - pray and take time to discern if this is really what God wants you to do. Becoming a religious is much more a will of God than the will of the person.

Next is to start looking at the orders in which their charisms vibe with you and then research about them, their ways of life, etc. Finally, seek out their vocation director and openly talk about your intent and issues. Only they can give you the answer pertaining as to what they are looking for in a brother.

Dont rush - its a process and can be a long process. Just take things one prayer at a time.

here’s a discussion about this:


-Dominus Vobiscum!


Why don’t you talk to the Vocation Director of your Diocese?
I think the Church is more concerned with men with “deep seated” gay inclinations, like those who are living their homosexual tendencies, have an active homosexual life, and are ok with it.
Your case seems to be more of a person who goes through temptations and just feels attracted to the same sex, maybe not acting on it. Of course, being among all those men could make things very, very hard for you…But who am I to know how strong you are?
I, for example, am married and have felt sexually attracted to other man a couple of times. I just did not act on it, for I know it would be sinful and destroy my life… If vocation to marriage was dependent on having attraction to just one person your whole life, almost nobody would be married! What matters is not so much what you feel, but how you, as a free human being choose to act!


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