Celibate Marriage


#1

I’m hoping some learned apologist out there can answer my question. My husband and I have been married 8 years next month. We have had a celibate marriage for 6 years now. He is not interested in sexual intimacy with me and doesn’t miss it in our relationship. He has felt this way since before we married; I know because we have discussed it and he told me. I am heartbroken and lonely. We don’t have any children and unless something changes we obviously won’t. What does this situation do to the Sacramental nature of our marriage? What is necessary between 2 people for the Sacrament to be present? We are both Catholics and got married in the Church.


#2

[quote=Stephanie0128]I’m hoping some learned apologist out there can answer my question. My husband and I have been married 8 years next month. We have had a celibate marriage for 6 years now. He is not interested in sexual intimacy with me and doesn’t miss it in our relationship. He has felt this way since before we married; I know because we have discussed it and he told me. I am heartbroken and lonely. We don’t have any children and unless something changes we obviously won’t. What does this situation do to the Sacramental nature of our marriage? What is necessary between 2 people for the Sacrament to be present? We are both Catholics and got married in the Church.
[/quote]

I have heard that some married couples choose to become celibate so that they can focus totally on God. They worship as one, due to the sacramental nature of marriage. But of course, this is a mutual decision. You may need to speak with your priest and/or a good Catholic counselor.


#3

If you didn’t agree to this situation you may be eligible to get your marriage annulled. Sounds like a very lonely marriage. I would talk to a priest to see what can be done.


#4

Sounds like your biological clock is ticking. Your husband needs to know you want and need children. You should see a good counsellor. It does not sound like a healthy marriage at present. Good luck.


#5

[quote=Stephanie0128]I’m hoping some learned apologist out there can answer my question. My husband and I have been married 8 years next month. We have had a celibate marriage for 6 years now. .
[/quote]

celibacy means “not married” so you are living in a state of continence or abstinence. St. Paul reminds us husbands and wives owe each other the “marriage duty” although they can refrain from relations for a time, by mutual consent, to devote themselves to prayer or other good works (or because pregnancy is inadvisible at the time). This does not sound like mutual consent. It sounds like there is a grave physical or psychological condition behind your husband’s disinterest in sex. If it was present before the marriage, he knew about it and concealed it from you it might invalidate the marriage. He needs a physical exam and counselling, you need counselling and pastoral advice. WE will pray that you get it.


#6

since before we married

This would lead me to believe that you probably have grounds for annullment. If he new this before you were married and didn’t tell you then you obviously were not able to give consent to this. If you were married in the Church, he also would have been lying during the consent part of the ceremony the “will you accept children part”. I’d see a priest immediately.


#7

Stephanie,

I’m sorry this trial has come to you. There are many things that could be going on here, and it would be best if you could talk to someone (like a priest) who could advise you. At least you will feel less alone if you can tell another person face to face. Of course you feel heartbroken!

As others have mentioned, there is such a thing as impediments to contracting a marriage, and it is possible that the two of you may have had one, but you would need to ask a priest about that.


#8

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