Cell Phone Conversation


#1

OK, I know cell phones are here to stay (even though personally I can't stand them)

But at some point I can't help but think it is getting worse than ridiculous.

I was taking the bus home today and a girl was talking on her cell phone on the bus. I have seen that before but usually it is young kids talking about the party. Or I have been on trains where people had to make business calls.

Well, this particular bus ride was very quiet except for this one lady who was talking on her cell phone telling her friend all the details of her ultra sound and how there would be a big possibility of a C section. Also, by her conversation, it was clear she was talking to a pregnant woman and asking about her baby.

I am a woman who has never had any kids. So I can't say how comfortable I would be talking about those intimate details if they were about me. I can understand a woman wanting to tell close friends and family. But on a celll phone for all us strangers to hear????????? Is it me or is that just over the top.

If I was at a restaurant and overheard two women talking like that, I would ignore it thinking they want their privacy (which I understand)

But on a cell phone??????? I can't help but think that is a betrayal of the father of the kid. Would a man not want his pregnant (hopefully wife) to still have a bit of modesty???? I don't think a man can say to a woman 'don't tell anyone about your doctors appointment' but I do think a man has the right to say 'don't blab our personal business on a bus full of strangers on your cell phone)

How do others feel?

CM


#2

People don't understand privacy anymore. Just the other day in the school library I listened to a girl have a cuss word-laden conversation on her phone. yes, in the library. Whenever I have a phone conversation in public, I try to keep it as quiet and short as possible. I don't want other people hearing my business, and I don't want to disturb them either. A lot of this trend of having intimate conversations in public stems from a lack of self-awareness and a lack of shame, I think.

Discussing what were formerly private matters in public is now accepted and encouraged, because its not so rigid and restrictive as the "olden days" :rolleyes:


#3

Hey Chico,

You made me remember a ‘funny’ thing. I grew up in a house with LOTS of privacy. If there was company in the house my mom would excuse herself, ask to speak to me privately and tell me to go take a bath. She never would have dreamed of saying ‘It is bath time’ in front of company.

When I went away to school and saw the freedom people used in their conversations, I went over board and talked publicly about sill things (that know make me blush when I think of it)

I am glad I now have more awareness. Thank God I finished school because cell phones were so affordable :smiley:

CM


#4

Well, I'm trying to figure out what you might have heard that was so private?

When I was PG, I had close to 30 ultra sounds (twins, once a week). It's just a wand they rub over your jellied belly to get a picture of the babies. Nothing really private. And C sections are quite common. Although often done for no reason, also done because of the position of the baby.

I don't see these as intimate details. Granted perhaps you heard something that was? :shrug: And I certainly can't figure out how this a betrayl to the father...

Perhaps you could be more clear about what was so off the charts? And why dad would be so upset?


#5

[quote="faithfully, post:4, topic:232216"]
Perhaps you could be more clear about what was so off the charts? And why dad would be so upset?

[/quote]

I am a private person. And I believe what makes a relationship special is certain inside secrets. For example, when my mom sees her call display and knows it is me, she answers with our little secret greeting. I know I am the only person she says that to and it is part of what makes our relationship special.

I think that having a baby is wonderful and an intimate part of a relationship that can bring 2 people closer. I understand a woman wanting to talk about it with friends and family but I think the cell phone was going overboard. It was making the miracle of life into a daily routine thing.

Dad would probably be upset in the sense that if a woman goes lingerie shopping and then pulls out her purchase in front of everyone and says 'This is what I am wearing for my husband tonight.' Too much information to the wrong crowd

CM


#6

Ask yourself these questions...

Why does this bother me really?
Is this really an offensive topic?
Maybe not everyone thinks as I do....

Try to see the positives in this little chat you heard

The mother is obviously excited about a new baby and so is her friend. This is great! The alternative would be a mother thinking aborting her baby or worrying how she is going to care for it or maybe being afraid to tell her husband/boyfriend.

I think the best thing you could have done is smile to yourself and say a prayer for this baby :thumbsup:

There are very many much worse things to stress about cms that's all i'm trying to tell you


#7

Well, it’s certainly your opinion. However, I don’t equate lingerie and PG at all. Granted one may lead to the other. Lingerie is private. It’s under your clothing, and to be shared only with your spouse.

A PG is just right out there. (especially if you’re having twins)… Everyone can tell you’re PG. They know you have sex now. And well, the miracle of life is an every day thing. It’s totally natural, and nothing to be ashamed of or needing privacy. I also realize that some think that a c-section is the ultimate horror of horrors. And as one woman here put it, humilating that she didn’t birth her baby. Granted, I’m here to tell you. It was a life saving procedure for me and my babies. I’m no where near ashamed of it. And happy to inform anyone that they are pefectly fine having a C-section. Nothing to be ashamed of, or saddened by (even when it doesn’t feel so natural). The goal is a healthy baby, or two

And so, I I can understand your personal need to keep any PG talk to a minimum for yourself. But I don’t think it’s really that big a deal. My personal opinion… Mountain out of mole hill.

I’d much prefer hearing women talking very casually about their PG’s than their abortions…


#8

As a mother of 3 - hearing that conversation would be no big deal.

An ultrasound is not "intimate".

I have told people my pregnancy and birthing stories, and it was in no way a "betrayal". It is the sharing of a miracle.


#9

I don’t think I’d be offended if I heard someone having this conversation. It’s just medical information. If she were talking about details surrounding the baby’s conception, yeah ok, that’s too intimate to be blabbing about! :eek:

I agree that some people share more information about themselves than I (or most other people who are not involved in the conversation) would care to know, but I think it’s best to just shrug it off. If other people’s conversations disturb you, you could always bring along some music to listen to.


#10

I would agree that unless you were sitting in a seat directly adjacent to this woman, the fact that you could hear her conversation was inappropriate and rude on her part - in this particular case, I don’t see a problem with the content being inappropriate, though I can understand others not caring to hear any of it.

What bothers me most is when people carry on a conversation (phone or in person) at a volume that is inappropriate for the location they’re at. Obviously the volume is different for each situation, but the fact is that your conversation should not stand out.

I like reading one particular humor website, and one recent article was the scientific explanations for really common annoyances. The first thing was having to listen to people’s phone conversations. There are two articles they link to: sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/09/100921101344.htm
and portal.acm.org/citation.cfm?id=993187

The first illustrates that the brain is more distracted by an incomplete conversation, which makes it harder to ignore. People performed a task just as well whether in silence, or when hearing two people conversing. But as soon as they listened to only one side of a conversation, performance levels dropped. The second study showed that people on public transportation remembered more details from a cell conversation than a normal conversation, even though they were trying to ignore both.

I thought that was pretty interesting.


#11

I don't care what the conversation is about, people should keep their voices down. It's simple respect for those around you. (who do not care to hear every detail of your business)


#12

[quote="KCT, post:11, topic:232216"]
I don't care what the conversation is about, people should keep their voices down. It's simple respect for those around you. (who do not care to hear every detail of your business)

[/quote]

Yes, I would agree with this... rudeness in assuming that everyone wants to hear you talk about whatever...

I particularly dislike this when people in an office with a door, insist on shouting to their speaker phone so they can "multi-task"... and REFUSE to shut their door. As if, I and the rest of the office need stop and listen to whatever drama....


#13

Cell phones are everywhere nowadays, and unfortunately some people don’t realize that not all of us want to hear their conversations. And what is it about talking on the cell phone that makes people think they need to talk louder? So it would be best if people who are on their cell phones could be respectful of the people around them and try to keep their voices down.

That being said, I don’t see anything wrong with the content of this particular conversation. I remember the first time I was pregnant and had my first ultrasound, I was SO excited about it. Yes, the miracle of life is a wonderful thing, and talking to my friends about the new life growing in my body was one way that I shared the experience. There is nothing immodest about an ultrasound. It’s an amazing way to get a peek at that tiny baby. When I had my first ultrasound, I took the pictures and showed them to all of my family members, as well as my friends. My husband did the same thing. I can’t see where sharing that information would in any way betray the father, either. This pregnant woman was excited about her new baby, and she was sharing that with her friend–what a great way to celebrate the miracle of new life!

Now, about the lingerie shopping. I’d agree with you that it’s not appropriate to share that type of information with friends/family members. But I don’t see how that is the same as sharing a pregnancy story. When a woman is pregnant, everyone knows it. It’s not something that can easily be hidden, nor should it be. It’s not the same as intimate details about how the couple behaves in the bedroom.


#14

[quote="ChiRho, post:2, topic:232216"]
People don't understand privacy anymore. ...

[/quote]

I think that is probably true. Today it is very common for folks to discuss, post, blog and text every little detail about their lives to the world. It is something that I do not understand. I think it is a reflection of personal connections being replaced by the less intimate but instant connections available through today's technology. People still want intimacy and connections with others and they try to have that by using technology, but I'm not so sure it really works.

Just my :twocents:.


#15

I think the reason I found it so ‘weird’ is maybe it is because most people I hear on cell phones are younger and talking about which bar to meet up at. I guess I was a bit surprised to see a somewhat older woman talking about something serious.

Also, as much as I agree everyone can see that a woman is pregnant, this woman by the conversation was only 2 months pregnant and not showing at all. Don’t a lot of people wait a bit before telling?

And this is what I REALLY do not understand and perhaps mom’s can shed some light on it. Yesterday, I read in several posts it is rude to ask a pregnant woman how far along she is. So what is the difference between talking about the ultra sound and talking about how far along one is??? If one not OK, then how could the other be? I am genuinly curious to know.

Also, the reason I see it as a betrayal to the father is because I think it is taking away from the romance. For example, 40 years ago, when a woman came back from her ultra sound appointment, she did not have a cell to call her husband. So she would wait until she saw him at home to tell him how it went. I think the fact that the woman would have to wait up to 8 hours to tell her husband about the ultra sound builds a fun anticipation. All she can think all day is ‘I can wait to tell him’. (Instant gratification is not good in my opinion). And she does not tell anyone else because she wants to give him the honour of being the first to hear about it.

But if a woman can just walk out of the Doctor’s office and call anyone she wants on her cell phone to talk about it, I think it kills the romance.

CM


#16

[quote="cmscms, post:15, topic:232216"]
I think the reason I found it so 'weird' is maybe it is because most people I hear on cell phones are younger and talking about which bar to meet up at. I guess I was a bit surprised to see a somewhat older woman talking about something serious.
I am 46, and have all my conversations on a cell phone, because that is all I have!

Also, as much as I agree everyone can see that a woman is pregnant, this woman by the conversation was only 2 months pregnant and not showing at all. Don't a lot of people wait a bit before telling?

A lot do; not all do. I did not. Personal preference.

And this is what I REALLY do not understand and perhaps mom's can shed some light on it. Yesterday, I read in several posts it is rude to ask a pregnant woman how far along she is. So what is the difference between talking about the ultra sound and talking about how far along one is?????? If one not OK, then how could the other be? I am genuinly curious to know.

That one is easy! YOU cannot ASK someone how far along they are, but THEY can tell YOU! Also, it depends on the relationship. I would not expect an acquaintance to ask how far along I was, but if it was a close relative or friend, no problem.

Also, the reason I see it as a betrayal to the father is because I think it is taking away from the romance. For example, 40 years ago, when a woman came back from her ultra sound appointment, she did not have a cell to call her husband. So she would wait until she saw him at home to tell him how it went. I think the fact that the woman would have to wait up to 8 hours to tell her husband about the ultra sound builds a fun anticipation. All she can think all day is 'I can wait to tell him'. (Instant gratification is not good in my opinion). And she does not tell anyone else because she wants to give him the honour of being the first to hear about it.

How do you know the father of the baby was not in the ultrasound appointment with her? My DH was always at those appointments. He saw the ultrasound when I saw it. He would meet me there, because he came from work, and then he would go back to work.

But if a woman can just walk out of the Doctor's office and call anyone she wants on her cell phone to talk about it, I think it kills the romance.

Again, you do not know who was at the appointment with her! We actually know nothing about this woman, so we do not even know if the father of her child is in her life, or if the father was at the appointment, or if the father of her child is deployed somewhere.

[/quote]


#17

For example, 40 years ago, when a woman came back from her ultra sound appointment, she did not have a cell to call her husband

I don’t think they had sonograms 40 years ago, at least wide spread. I’m 41 and my mom had an x-ray done to determine if I was breech. :eek:

Maybe that explains me. :whacky: (sorry off topic):o


#18

[quote="cmscms, post:15, topic:232216"]
I think the reason I found it so 'weird' is maybe it is because most people I hear on cell phones are younger and talking about which bar to meet up at. I guess I was a bit surprised to see a somewhat older woman talking about something serious.

Just about 40, use cell almost exclusively

Also, as much as I agree everyone can see that a woman is pregnant, this woman by the conversation was only 2 months pregnant and not showing at all. Don't a lot of people wait a bit before telling?

Often, yes. People do generally wait. Only because having to go back and tell people that you lost the baby is excrutiating...

And this is what I REALLY do not understand and perhaps mom's can shed some light on it. Yesterday, I read in several posts it is rude to ask a pregnant woman how far along she is. So what is the difference between talking about the ultra sound and talking about how far along one is?????? If one not OK, then how could the other be? I am genuinly curious to know.

I'm assuming you're talking about the post that talks about asking a woman how far along she is based on her signature ticker? Where as a person who does not understand how the medical field counts the gestation of a PG... and then insintuating that a woman was PG before her marriage date. Also, it's rude to ask a woman who isn't clearly about to pop, because it could be that she's not actually PG... but has a belly, say from her PG. So, you could be asking a FAT woman when she's due. Or a woman who just lost her baby when she's due. Seriously, I was asked when I was due, and I was pushing 2 , 3 week old babies down the street. REALLY, do you think these brand new babies are awaiting yet more siblings? Or does it occur to you that my stomach hasn't gone down... I can't tell you how many times I was tempted to tell people their triplet wasn't born yet... just to watch their confusion.
[Also, the reason I see it as a betrayal to the father is because I think it is taking away from the romance. For example, 40 years ago, when a woman came back from her ultra sound appointment, she did not have a cell to call her husband. So she would wait until she saw him at home to tell him how it went. I think the fact that the woman would have to wait up to 8 hours to tell her husband about the ultra sound builds a fun anticipation. All she can think all day is 'I can wait to tell him'. (Instant gratification is not good in my opinion). And she does not tell anyone else because she wants to give him the honour of being the first to hear about it. [COLOR="red"]My opinion, I often think the "romance" is lost over the PG, when mom starts puking over every single smell. And well, 40+ years ago, ultra sounds weren't as common. I can't tell you how many women I know that found out they were having twins ON A DELIVERY table... :eek: That's not romantic!!! That's utter chaos... LOL!

[/quote]

But if a woman can just walk out of the Doctor's office and call anyone she wants on her cell phone to talk about it, I think it kills the romance.

Well, that's your call in your relationship. I, for example, would know if my husband consider this type of info as romantic. If he did, then I'd wait for him. I happen to know that he doesn't. Entirely likely that this woman also knows her husband well enough to know what he thinks is romantic or not... I'm like other women... DH attended these appts. with me. And when he didn't... HE got the FIRST call... so, did this woman call her friend first? Or perhaps she's on the phone with best friend... Lots of assumptions...

CM


#19

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