My life is wonderful.
I’m writing, I’m getting over my bitter disappointment that Obama won and am intrigued and pleased to note that we have a president elect who’s not pale complected (although I’m not happy with his abortion and euthanasia and cloning beliefs), and I’ve been able to keep myself chaste for over two months now! I’m still struggling, but I’m pleased that I pulled it off as long as I have.
No porn! None at all! No mastrubation, no reading erotica, I have given up all slash (homoerotic fan fiction), I’ve been praying more (though I’m still not at the point where I"m saying the Rosery every day like I want to be, but I’m not going to confuse disappointment with disaster, and I’m going to keep working on that). I’m pleased that things are going so well, and I just wanted to share my happiness with the web forum because I feel very comfortable and safe here. I know I’ve been a lurker for a while now, but I have been catching up on my reading of THIS ROCK, and I love it!
It’s been both easier and harder than I ever thought to get myself under some kind of control. God knows I struggle and He’s been very patient with me. I hope to continue to please Him.
It’s been easier, because as I go through a day I realize my body doesn’t have control over me, I have control over it. And harder, because control means not being lazy.
I found a scapular with my old Rosery that my grandmother got for me when I was a baby. I asked my priest about it; Father says that you wear it so the felt touches the skin. It’s lovely, and while I’m not 100% sure what the proper form is for wearing it (am I supposed to pray before putting it on?) I’m thrilled I have it and love knowing that 1) God loves me, and 2) my Grandmother, whose name I remembered on All Souls Day, loved me enough to get it for me. I also love that I have a Mother in Heaven to comfort me, and a Father to laugh at my quirks and get me under control when I can’t do it myself.
I’ve been thinking about the Holy Spirit. I know the Father, and I know the Son. I think the Holy Spirit is a different type of person, very personal and very determined. I think He’s the one who reminds me the most of Hell and reminds me why I want to please God so much - to be able to look upon His face when I die.
Blah, I talk too much. I’m just so very happy that I’ve been able to be in control of myself, and I hope that I please God. And thank you, everybody on the forum, for being open and interesting and honest. You do inspire me, and I think that y’all are sweet. I may not agree with everyone about different ideas, but I like that everyone is open about what he feels.