Chastity and contraception


#1

Good (evening, where I am) to you all!

I have a some small quick questions which I would very much like answered.
I am on my process of becoming a catholic and would like to know how many of you here actually keep chaste and also how many of you (when married) don't use contraception?

If (as you should), don't use contraception, how does your love life work and how often do you make love to your beloved without having many many many children?

I don't mean to offend anyone by this and sorry if I have.

God bless you all.
TK27:)


#2

I am married, we have used Natural Family Planning. Because of serious health reasons, we used NFP to avoid pregnancy. We have one living child, and one who died before birth.

When trying to avoid pregnancy, we abstained from marital relations for about 7 days during the average month.


#3

Sorry for being so slow if I am, but what do you mean by "When trying to avoid pregnancy, we abstained from marital relations for about 7 days during the average month."?
:o


#4

She’s talking about NFP (Natural Family Planning). During a woman’s cycle there is really only 24hrs where she’s fertile, however cervical mucus can be present before that, so to avoid pregnancy a couple practicing NFP usually abstains about a week during that fertile time period, or where the woman would be observing her fertitilty via her cervical mucus. For info on NFP you can visit ccli.org/

We use NFP as well, but we’re not as up to date as we could be. :o As far as your question regarding the frequency of marital relations, my husband is a happy man…those few days are a little annoying to him, probably more so just b/c when the moment presents itself, it’s irritating not to be able to follow through. But used properly, NFP is absolutely effective. It’s also a HUGE bonding agent in the marriage. A husband doesn’t just get the typical “not tonight” stuff, he knows his wife’s body way more intimately than the average non-practicing NFP husband. Probably more than he really cares to know or ever even dreamed he would know. My husband knows me so well, he’ll sometimes remind me of where we are in a cycle; “better start watching for that mucus”…as though I’m driving around looking for a landmark or something. :smiley:

btw, congrats on your journey into the Church!


#5

What Tampa said :)

Catholics are permitted to use Natural Family Planning for the spacing of births.


#6

I’m trying my best to stay chaste, had some slip-ups, but that’s nothing a good dose of forgiveness doesn’t help!

Planning to eventually use NFP (no artificial birth control) when I do get married. Good statistics for it too. When it’s used properly, it is over 90% effective and the divorce rate for those who use NFP is I believe around 0.4% while the rest of the population is at above 50%. As Christopher West says, it’s not just a method of regulating birth, it’s marriage insurance.


#7

Thanks for clearing that up! I don't ever get a bad answer at these forums, you're all so helpful.:thumbsup:

Again, thank you and God bless you all.


#8

One thing to remember, we are ALL called to chastity - it does not end with marriage.

From the CCC:

scborromeo.org/ccc/para/2349.htm

**2349 **“People should cultivate [chastity] in the way that is suited to their state of life. Some profess virginity or consecrated celibacy which enables them to give themselves to God alone with an undivided heart in a remarkable manner. Others live in the way prescribed for all by the moral law, whether they are married or single.” Married people are called to live conjugal chastity; others practice chastity in continence:

There are three forms of the virtue of chastity: the first is that of spouses, the second that of widows, and the third that of virgins. We do not praise any one of them to the exclusion of the others. . . . This is what makes for the richness of the discipline of the Church.


#9

Everyone gave you great answers so far. Our culture pushes contraceptive on us so much that the idea of not using it in marriage is this bizarre, foreign idea to so many people. My suggestion is to do some reading and become familiar with the benefits and statistics behind it. If you are going to go through RCIA to become Catholic, bring this issue up with your priest. He may have some great resources or be able to to point you towards an NFP class with other couples from your area.
My husband and I use NFP and I would not have it any other way!


#10

[quote="TomKat27, post:1, topic:177735"]
Good (evening, where I am) to you all!

I have a some small quick questions which I would very much like answered.
I am on my process of becoming a catholic and would like to know how many of you here actually keep chaste and also how many of you (when married) don't use contraception?

If (as you should), don't use contraception, how does your love life work and how often do you make love to your beloved without having many many many children?

I don't mean to offend anyone by this and sorry if I have.

God bless you all.
TK27:)

[/quote]

Hi TomKat!

It's a great question!!!
Loads of people have the same question. Instead of trying to find out the answer, they realize that not using contraception is going to be a "harder" road to follow, so they judge Catholics and call them prudes or some other such name.

Here is an awesome FREE resource, you can hear it online.

omsoul.com/
In the very top left corner of the page, click on Contraception: Why Not to listen to the audio mp3 online.

Another AWESOME resource that will answer your questions is:
aquinasandmore.com/catholic-books/Good-News-About-Sex-And-Marriage/sku/1812

God bless you on your journey!


#11

[quote="AdriannaJean, post:6, topic:177735"]
I'm trying my best to stay chaste, had some slip-ups, but that's nothing a good dose of forgiveness doesn't help!

Planning to eventually use NFP (no artificial birth control) when I do get married. Good statistics for it too. When it's used properly, it is over 90% effective and the divorce rate for those who use NFP is I believe around 0.4% while the rest of the population is at above 50%. As Christopher West says, it's not just a method of regulating birth, it's marriage insurance.

[/quote]

About 4%. While the divorce rate among CHRISTIANS and others who are not open to God's will in their family planning and marital love is about 50%...no different than the rest of society.

I think these stats are referred to in the link I provided you in my previous post.


#12

This is a bad question to ask. You are basically asking, who here rejects Church teaching and engages in sin. And when you find such people - which you will - do you intend to follow them in their sin and disobedience?

Artificial Contraception is intrinsically evil. THAT is Church doctrine. Thats all you need worry about.

Try reading this:
catholic.com/library/Birth_Control.asp

.

.


#13

[quote="kage_ar, post:2, topic:177735"]
I am married, we have used Natural Family Planning. Because of serious health reasons, we used NFP to avoid pregnancy. We have one living child, and one who died before birth.

When trying to avoid pregnancy, we abstained from marital relations for about 7 days during the average month.

[/quote]

This is an example of the mis-use of NFP. When NFP is used to avoid babies, it becomes no better than contraception. The proper use of NFP is to prayerfully discern when God wants you to have children, not to avoid them.


#14

[quote="Irish_Catholic, post:13, topic:177735"]
This is an example of the mis-use of NFP. When NFP is used to avoid babies, it becomes no better than contraception. The proper use of NFP is to prayerfully discern when God wants you to have children, not to avoid them.

[/quote]

Irish Catholic,

Your statement isn't wholly true according to Humanae Vitae and Guadium et Spes.

ewtn.com/library/PAPALDOC/JP840801.HTM

Abstaining from the marital act due to serious health concerns is a moral reason according to church teaching.


#15

[quote="Irish_Catholic, post:13, topic:177735"]
This is an example of the mis-use of NFP. When NFP is used to avoid babies, it becomes no better than contraception. The proper use of NFP is to prayerfully discern when God wants you to have children, not to avoid them.

[/quote]

No, we are to make sure our reasons are just when avoiding pregnancy. Health of the mother seems to be just according to all the priests I know.

Let's see what the Church has to say... lookie there:

scborromeo.org/ccc/para/2368.htm

2368 A particular aspect of this responsibility concerns the regulation of procreation. For just reasons, spouses may wish to space the births of their children. It is their duty to make certain that their desire is not motivated by selfishness but is in conformity with the generosity appropriate to responsible parenthood. Moreover, they should conform their behavior to the objective criteria of morality:
When it is a question of harmonizing married love with the responsible transmission of life, the morality of the behavior does not depend on sincere intention and evaluation of motives alone; but it must be determined by objective criteria, criteria drawn from the nature of the person and his acts, criteria that respect the total meaning of mutual self-giving and human procreation in the context of true love; this is possible only if the virtue of married chastity is practiced with sincerity of heart.156 2369 "By safeguarding both these essential aspects, the unitive and the procreative, the conjugal act preserves in its fullness the sense of true mutual love and its orientation toward man's exalted vocation to parenthood."157

**2370 **Periodic continence, that is, the methods of birth regulation based on self-observation and the use of infertile periods, is in conformity with the objective criteria of morality. These methods respect the bodies of the spouses, encourage tenderness between them, and favor the education of an authentic freedom. In contrast, "every action which, whether in anticipation of the conjugal act, or in its accomplishment, or in the development of its natural consequences, proposes, whether as an end or as a means, to render procreation impossible" is intrinsically evil: Thus the innate language that expresses the total reciprocal self-giving of husband and wife is overlaid, through contraception, by an objectively contradictory language, namely, that of not giving oneself totally to the other. This leads not only to a positive refusal to be open to life but also to a falsification of the inner truth of conjugal love, which is called upon to give itself in personal totality. . . . The difference, both anthropological and moral, between contraception and recourse to the rhythm of the cycle . . . involves in the final analysis two irreconcilable concepts of the human person and of human sexuality.


#16

I recant. I breezed through that other post and missed the part about the serious health concerns. My mistake


#17

[quote="kage_ar, post:8, topic:177735"]
One thing to remember, we are ALL called to chastity - it does not end with marriage.

From the CCC:

scborromeo.org/ccc/para/2349.htm

*2349 *"People should cultivate [chastity] in the way that is suited to their state of life. Some profess virginity or consecrated celibacy which enables them to give themselves to God alone with an undivided heart in a remarkable manner. Others live in the way prescribed for all by the moral law, whether they are married or single." Married people are called to live conjugal chastity; others practice chastity in continence:

There are three forms of the virtue of chastity: the first is that of spouses, the second that of widows, and the third that of virgins. We do not praise any one of them to the exclusion of the others. . . . This is what makes for the richness of the discipline of the Church.

[/quote]

I'm so glad you pointed this out :thumbsup: I can't think of two words that are more confused...other than maybe the terms "Immaculate Conception" and "Virgin Birth" (the former being Mary's conception within St. Ann & the latter being Jesus' birth)

SO many ppl confuse "chastity" with "celebacy". We are all called to be chaste in whatever vocation God calls us.


#18

I converted to Catholicism at 21. I had been sexually active in the past, so I understand how difficult the transition is! The best ally you need is a partner who understands your desire to remain chaste, and who will support you and suffer through the “agony” of not having sex when you really really want to.

You may be interested in reading about my personal saga, wherein my husband and I were chaste until the wedding night…and then basically went back to being chaste because the sex wasn’t what we expected (and wasn’t what I was used to from past relationships). There are a lot of great nuggets of advice from married Catholics in my thread, and I hope that when you do marry, your relationship gets off to a better start than mine. Let me be a cautionary tale for you. :wink:

About contraception: we did not use contraception and instead used NFP (I started charting several months before the wedding in preparation). Obviously, when we stopped having sex we stopped worrying about NFP. When you do Catholic marriage prep classes, you will learn about NFP and they will point you toward resources for mastering the skill. And remember, you don’t have to abstain from intimacy during your fertile period–you just need to abstain from intercourse. :wink:


#19

Thank you Augusta_Sans!
I am really in the stages where you were a couple of years ago I guess. I am in a relationship with a girl I love. She is an atheist through and through and I am converting while we are together. You can imagine the tough time I am going through right now!
I need advice.
I really can’t lose this girl, she is the 1st and only girl I have actually been with and had sexual relations with.
She loves me back and has agreed to give chastity a chance but I dunno how long it will be until she completely loses interest. I am having second thoughts about my faith (which I do not want to do)…

Please give me thoughtful advice.
God bless.

PS. Btw, I’m 19 and male


#20

[quote="Irish_Catholic, post:16, topic:177735"]
I recant. I breezed through that other post and missed the part about the serious health concerns. My mistake

[/quote]

That's okay...It's a real fallible medium in here. :hug1:


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