Chastity Until Marriage

I am sure this question has been asked and answered before. Be warned, this is a sensitive subject.

How can I as a young adult male find the fortitude to remain completely chaste in my thoughts, words, and actions until marriage? It may be many years before I am blessed with the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony, so how do I stay the course? It is no secret that young men experience extremely distracting and persistent urges if said urges are ignored for any length of time, so how do I bear that discomfort for years and years?

Pray often. Get back up when you fall. Get a hobby. One of the best things to distract from impure urges is physical activity.


The best way not to sin, do not put yourself into tempting situations.

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How can you find that fortitude, huh?

Well if I take just an average sample around the room? The answer’s probably that YOU can’t.

But that’s not the whole answer. Not by half.

See the thing is this is sort of like asking how you can become pro at anything in your life.

I mean the first steps are hard. They take a want and a will to succeed. They take all night effort sometimes. They take true and real will power. They take hope? And determination? And a willingness to get back up after each fail.

There’s no simple line you cross over for the final win here. I mean there’s no day you wake up “cured.” The bottom line is in the striving. It’s in the wanting to be pure. It’s in the total and true effort to get there proper.

So man? Alone? That’s a pretty long bit of uphill.

But with sacraments? And constant prayer and God centered living? Well totally this is a thing that can be done.

I think the best way to win this is to do it for your future spouse. To really visualize the gift you’d be bringing her. To really understand how honestly glad she’d be to win a prize like you who’d be willing to pull sacrifices with her in mind even before you knew her.

I mean that way’s key.

The rest lines up with the momentum you start with. I mean you just need to aim true and keep at it.

And man? If you slip? Or really mess up?

That’s not the end. Just pick up and get back into the game. Because no one said this would be easy? But guys who do hard things roll up to the curb with a lot of respect already built in. I mean it’s a pleasure to meet ya. And your future spouse will find you very attractive with your spiritual six-pack already in place.

So start early. And train often.

Peace Cantor. You’ve got a right to the question.

And also the answer.


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I overcame with prayer and regular fasting, and weekly confessions (whether I was in mortal sin or not); keeping occupied with exercise and hobbies, and staying in groups (not being alone with a gal). You get used to it, and after lots of practice (including getting back up when you fail) the temptations will lessen. Urges are just urges, no matter how strong. You can learn to put them aside (mentally) and wait them out. Keep your eye on the prize (Heaven)!

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