I'm not sure if this is where this post belongs, so if it's in the wrong spot I'm sorry (and moderators please move it). Also, I know this is a lot of information, so please bare with me.
Here's some background information. My fiance and I have been dating over 5 and a half years. This past January I proposed to her and she said yes. At the beginning of our relationship we used to do "things" (never had any kind of sex, mostly groping and heavily kissing, and we're both saving ourselves for marriage). After about a year or so, we realized the moral implications of our actions and agreed to stop everything but kissing.
Well, we just got back from spending a week at the beach with several friends on Thursday afternoon. Friday evening I went over to her apartment to cook her a special dinner when she said me she has to tell me something.
We sat down and she told me how on Thursday after she called me and told me goodnight, she went over to this guy's house. I knew she and the guy were friends but I only met him in passing. Apparently, she and him did all the things we used to do (they did not have sex). Afterwards, they talked about it and realized it was a mistake. Despite still being attracted to each other, they agreed just to be friends and never do that again.
Although I was heartbroken, in my heart I loved her still. We talked for an hour and I forgave her, but she wanted to go back there that night and talk to him. I allowed it and she said they just talked about us and I believe her (she was only gone for an hour). In their talk, he told her that we (she and I) 'need to resume doing "things" because her built up sexual tension and her attraction to him is prolly what made her do that with him' despite knowing it was wrong. We talked about it and agreed to resume doing "things" but to just let it happen naturally.
After spending the day with my family on Saturday, we went back her apartment to hang out and watch a movie. One thing led to another and things happened naturally (we stopped at the same point as we did several years ago) and we still want to save sex for marriage.
Additionally, she wants to remain friends with him despite all this and wants me to trust her. A small part of me wanted not to, but like I said I love her and believe and trust her when she says that it won't ever happen again. So yesterday I went over to talk to this guy at his house and he seemed really apologetic. I asked him why he did that, knowing she was engaged and he said he didn't know. Apparently, he just broke up with his on-again-off-again girlfriend of 4 years about two weeks ago so that may have been a part of it.
Eventually we started talking about other things (I was there for 3 hours) and I learned why she wants to be friends with him. He's not a bad person; they both just made a big mistake. After our talk, she came over and he cooked us dinner.
The problem I am having with all this is that she told me that she isn't attracted to me physically (she is attracted to him). And that really bothers me (I've expressed this to her and we don't know how to fix this). We want to make this work, but we both somewhat think physical attraction is required in a marriage.
We have a great emotional and spiritual relationship. She makes me feel complete and want to be a better person. I can be myself around her and tell her everything. She says she feels the same, loves me still, and she is completely sincere when she says it.
She is extremely worried that if she is attracted to other men when we were only engaged, how is she going to feel when we're married. I'm the only guy's she's ever dated, and with the exception of this guy, I'm the only guy she's kissed so she's worried that she might just be comfortable with this relationship (settling).
I know should probably just give her some space to work things out (she didn't ask for it, but giving her space in the past has helped us work through problems), but I want to be there for her right now and work with her through this. I'm really hurting and confused right now. I don't know what to say about it anymore. I want to spend the rest of my life with her, but more important than that, I just want her to be happy.
What do I do?