My wife of almost 10 years has had (is still having, I think) an affair with a co-worker. She came to me on New Year’s Eve about 9pm and told me she was unhappy in our marriage. She never said it but in our hour long conversation, she drove it to separation several times. A few days of us not talking I finally told her I wanted to go to marriage counseling and didn’t want to lose her or my family (we have two children - girl 3 and a boy 5). When I told her that she was texting with a girl friend and this is what she wrote.
Now he will go to counseling. I am so ****ing disappointed that he is doing this. I just want to move the **** on. I know that sounds counter-intuitive. He is giving me what I asked him for. I never expected it. And apparently never really wanted it anyhow.
These other people I fall in love with? The people that touch my actual soul? What the **** do I with that? I want that. I will go to counseling so that I can say I did. And I will be honest. And it will be ugly.
After I found these I asked who these “other people are”? She only told me about her co-worker after I guessed it. She said she the both exchanged mutual feelings of love for each other and that the kissed. This apparently happened between Christmas and New Years; all while I was home on vacation taking care of my kids. I called her co-worker the next day and he told me that, “yes that happened and I do love you wife”.
After about three weeks of grieving, and her not saying that she was sorry or that she wanted me or even to want to work it out. I ask her myself and told her to ask me to stat, tell me not to leave, tell me you want me and our family to stay together. To which she replied, “I want a divorce”.
The devastation I’ve been feeling since all this is over whelming. I’m finding myself in some very dark placing in my thoughts. I’m not a violent person and have never hurt my wife or my kids.
I turned away from God (and blamed him) when all this happened and only now am looking to him to help get me through this.
If anyone here can help with prayers or readings, I would truly appreciate it.