Child Custody Battle - 604B


#1

Hello,
I hate to say this but I feel I am falling into despair. It has been a long time since I have visted this site…but I feel that the Holy Spirit guided me back to find comfort.

I have been undering a difficult divorce for the past two. At this time we are fighting for custody of my 12 year old son.

Is there anyone who can help me understand what the evaluator is seeking to establish. I mean, the only reason I believe my husband is fighting for custody is becuase he does not want to full child-support. I did offer to lessen the amount but it was not good enough for him.

Now, I know my ex is a better dad than he was a husband. But I believe he has lost his family values. Well, he does have his girlfriend who he had an affair with. And I am certain they do family things…but I am sure she is more of a convenience to him at this time…becuase my son and her kids are best of friends.

What can I expect? I want my son to enjoy his life without having to choose…

Any words of advise…or possible prayers??


#2

I remember you erazo, and I'm so sorry for your pain. :hug1:

I don't have any advice, but I will remember you in my prayers. :crossrc: :hug1:


#3

Hello,
I have been through a similar situation and the divorce was finalized two years ago. My recommendation is to help your child study the lives of the saints. Many of the saints endured so much hardship during their early childhood, and ultimately used their difficulties to grow in personal holiness. Helping your child to identify with the saints will be a great gift during such a difficult time, regardless of the actual outcome of the court process.

God bless you, and know I will pray for you!


#4

Custody evaluations generally are looking for:

  • evidence of diagnosable psychopathologies in the mother, father, and child;
  • evidence of any cognitive impairments in the child;
  • the child’s general level of psychological well-being; and
  • evidence that the relationship between the parents is, if not cordial, at least sound and not harmful to the child

Advice:

  • retain the best family law attorney you can afford to represent your interests throughout these proceedings;
  • listen to exactly what the evaluator is asking, answer only what she’s asking, and then stop talking;
  • DO NOT treat the evaluation appointments like personal therapy sessions;
  • ALWAYS remember that the evaluator is not working for you, she’s working for the courts; while this doesn’t mean you should have an adversarial relationship with her, keep in mind she’s not working on behalf of your best interests necessarily;
  • DO NOT coach your son, no matter how subtle you think you’re being, as to what to say or how to act during the evaluation appointments. Whenever you start to say something like, “Tell her about the time…” or “Make sure she knows about…” STOP. Evaluators can alway detect coaching, always, and it takes them 1/10th of a second to figure out which parent is behind it. And it never, ever makes that parent look good.
  • Be honest, and tell your son to answer all questions honestly.

#5

Thank you,
This is what I needed.

My son has already been evaluated...and I was not aware of it. Dad, can be very controlling...but I trust that my son was honest. I have no qualms about my son wanting to be with his son....but I trully believe he may be pushed to this decision by his dad.

My biggest fear is my guilty conscious. I feel bad for things I have no control over and often times..feel at fault that my son is going through this. Because I did not want to settle 5% for child support. My son deserves more...and why should he be limitted??

Thank you .... I will keep your advise and pray that the Holy Spirit be with me.


#6

[quote="erazo, post:5, topic:246384"]
Thank you,
This is what I needed.

My son has already been evaluated...and I was not aware of it. Dad, can be very controlling...but I trust that my son was honest. I have no qualms about my son wanting to be with his son....but I trully believe he may be pushed to this decision by his dad.

My biggest fear is my guilty conscious. I feel bad for things I have no control over and often times..feel at fault that my son is going through this. Because I did not want to settle 5% for child support. My son deserves more...and why should he be limitted??

Thank you .... I will keep your advise and pray that the Holy Spirit be with me.

[/quote]

Keep praying - God bless you.


#7

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