Child molested....


#1

Big problem here…

My DH niece is in jail for being involved with a deat beat guy (was with him in a couple of thefts). They got two kids (14 year old boy and a 4 year old girl). The deat beat guy has been in and out of jail for theft mostly. He is out right now and has been since Feb. when my DH niece was put away. He obviously has custody of the two, whom he sees every now and then. The guy is a total loser and my DH niece is “out there” (obviously). My DH sister and her DH are of weak character. They have no courage to do what is right. They care, but they don’t have the drive to do and risk their own lives to save their granddaughter.

She is their only daughter (now 31 yrs. old) and they have never done anything to stop her from doing stupid things, like mostly getting involved with this deat beat guy!
I heard recently that the little girl (the 4 yr old) is very afraid of her father. That every time he picks her up she runs to her room at her grandparents house (i.e., my DH sister and BIL) and hides under the bed and cries that she does not want to go. Ever since I heard that, knowing that the guy is a deat beat, I sensed right away that she is more than likely being molested by this guy, her own father (about 32 years old). Keep in mind that I have not seen the little girl in 2 years and that is all I had to hear to sense what I sensed. Anyhow, last night my SIL calls and tells my DH what is going on and all the signs that she has been seing in her granddaughter. I got sooooo upset and so did my DH at her because my DH told her to do something and she said that she was afraid, nervous…they are like that both and that her DH was, too. I am here thinking, grrrrrrrrr:mad: what can I do. My DH said that we have children and that because of that, we can not put them in dangers way with this guy. He might think that we are getting in the way or something and might want to harm us or our children.

Please, anyone, help! Where can we go and what can we do. They live 5 hrs away from us and I feel so impotent to this situation…:frowning: Plus I asked my DH if he knew where the little girl was and he said that she was with her father :eek:

By the way, my SIL has a drinking problem…


#2

I would tell your sister that if she doesn’t call the police then you will.Has she tried to talk to her daughter on why she is afraid of her father? I would also let your sister know that she take her daughter to counseling to try and see what is going on


#3

Call the police/chid protective services, and make a report.


#4

Call DFS or DCS or whatever the child welfare protection agency is. It is our Christian duty to protect ALL of God’s children.


#5

I am a mandated reporter, and as such, have had to report before. I am to report even if I feel that a child is in possible danger, even without proof. You should certainly make a report, even anonymously if you want, but It needs to happen. If something is going on you could help in protecting these kids, don’t wait. Even if, and sadly it does happen, if something IS going on, you report, they investigate, find nothing, at least there will have been a report on record. If it’s reported again, they will see that this man has already been investigated once and will look harder the next time.


#6

Thank you to everyone! DFPS is confidential, according to the web site.

Has anyone dealt with DFPS before besides Kedera? If so, how did it go with you?


#7

I don’t know, but I do know that she was bathing her a few days ago and the little girl told her that her daddy had burned her with cigarrette on her private part :mad: Also, supposedly, when the little girl is sleeping, she will scream in her sleep “No!, No! Stop! It hurts!! It hurts!!”…:frowning:


#8

My DH and I were foster parents and our training was held in the center where professionals meet with kids who have been abused. If there appears to be cause for alarm, at least in our hometown, the child would be interviewed carefully by a team of professionals who are trained in such issues. Although there is no easy way for a kid to have to talk about such horrible things, they do their best to get the information without inflicting any more emotional damage. God bless your little great niece.


#9

Please do get involved to protect this innocent child who needs someone to help her. I would call the CPS in your area & make a report & give as many details & information you have. The social workers are overworked & have a huge case load & many children continue to be abused & neglected until tragically something terrible happens. I pray you are able to help these children. I wish more people realized they have a duty as a Christian & fellow human being to help those that can’t help or protect themselves. Too many people don’t want to get involved & so many kids continue to suffer.
I will say a prayer for the children involved & for you. May God bless you all!


#10

Please make a report to child protective services. Your niece is not just in great danger now but at risk for emotional troubles for the rest of her life.

I know, my wife was your niece and even her mother did not protect her from her father.

I don’t think it is a decision you will regret.

God bless you.


#11

Please make the report. It can be completely confidential.

Definitely mention the reported incident with your niece being burned with the cigarette butt. A four year old is not going to make up something like that. If there is enough suspicion that physical abuse is occuring, Social Services can require a medical exam for your niece to look for evidence of such abuse.The more specific details you can provide, the better.

Does your niece go to daycare anywhere? A social worker might visit her there to talk to her. They might also interview the employees at the daycare center.

Also, after you make the report, a social worker will likely visit the house to see what kind of conditions your niece is living in.

You may be the only hope your niece has of being saved from her father and further abuse. Please make the report.


#12

I was a foster parent for years… over 80% of my teen girls had been molested. I don’t think this is what you want for these children. My suggestion is make the report, explain that you can’t prove but suspect, and let the professionals take it from there. Tell your sister to document bad dreams, burns, cuts, anything that sounds not quite right no matter how minor… these things can help them in the investigation.


#13

Not much more I can say… I agree with everyone that you MUST make a report.

PLEASE let God use you as His way of helping this little girl.

Praying…


#14

Thanks to all! My SIL is taking care of it. She called CPS and got a lawyer, however, I have not gotten a chance to talk to her.


#15

Personally, I would go over there and kick his head in. Then I would phone the police. I hate scum like this. Someone should teach him a lesson that he’ll never forget.

I hope the girl is okay. You NEED to get her away from this man before he harms her anymore.

If this was happening in my family, I’d do a lot of jail time. Scum like that don’t deserve to breathe.


#16

That’s how I feel at times, but I got kids who need me. Maybe if I were alone, but I know it would be wrong… I’ve heard that child molesters have a tuff time in jail…they are supposedly the most hated there…


#17

I am glad you care so much but urge you to be cautious. Child molestation is a very serious thing to accuse someone of with no proof. You have not seen this child in two years and you have a “sense” which I would investigate, however be careful about telling others you beleive this man is a child molester.

I would agree because of their irresponsible behavior to call CPS and get them to check it out. I think they need to be involved. What I am concerned about is the commandment “do not bear false witness against thy neighbor”. And while this man may be a horrible father and dead beat in general…that does not give anyone permission to accuse him falsely of a hideous crime.

I hope and pray that the child turns out okay. I realize you are a caring person and this situation is emotionally charged…I am just reminding you to be careful of all you say so you don’t fall into sin yourself.


#18

You are absolutely right. That is why I feel impotent to this. I feel I can’t really do much since I am not seeing it first hand. My SIL and her DH are. I have thought about this before, wondering if whether or not I am accusing him falsely. There is just so many things that are going on that I just have a gut feeling that it is. Even though I don’t want to feel it and I don’t want it to be true…I still feel that, sadly, it is. Atleast some type of abuse is going on. The little girl is so terrified of him. I don’t know how he is now acting so “fatherly”. He has never cared for them. I just pray that this all gets resolved quickly for the sake of the little girl. :frowning:


closed #19

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