This was posted on a site that “is a safety zone for real and honest insights regarding third party reproduction (sperm & egg donation, and surrogacy).”
God bless her friend’s parents for including her in their family.
Wow! I wish we’d hear more stories like these. I think they would be quite unpopular in mainstream media right now.
That letter doesn’t ring true to me. It sounds like an adult trying to talk like a teen, and failing.
I don’t trust this blog site to be unbiased.
In one of her articles two years ago, the site owner compared same-sex couples who wanted children to “sexual predators”.
That is not only unfair and incorrect, it’s hateful.
Also, why does she not say outright in her bio that she herself is the product of an anonymous sperm donor?
I do agree that people should give their opinions on both sides of this issue, of course.
But regarding this specific site…as a writer myself, when I read all the anonymous “stories” posted here they all sound as though they were written by the same person.
Come on, DG! Are you really going to sit here and tell us that all of these must be made-up because someone writes about a negative experience with gay parents?
Why do you even care if gay relationships are allegedly so grand and great?* Shouldn’t they be able to overpower something like this?
One thing I am forced to ponder: are you so terribly insecure regarding the stability of homosexual relationships that you have to just jump right and start making these seemingly wild accusations?
*For the record, I don’t think they are! :dts: :nope:
Are you kidding? There’s no way something like this would be run so freely and lightly in Western mainstream media outlets.
I agree with you; it does seem contrived.
So let’s take a hypothetical using the same basic information. It would not be unusual that a young girl (or boy) would experience a situation like this with a traditional (mom & dad) family. It could be any boy or girl that has two same sex parents, or no parents, or only one parent. Or one in which there is no love expressed between the parents. So yearning for a loving family would be pretty normal, especially at this time of the year.
Didn’t say that.
Didn’t say that.
Don’t know where you’re getting that from.
I was thinking the same thing.
In fact, I was thinking it about the website owner.
I looked up some of the articles she wrote about her own feelings and experiences (which sound amazingly just like that “letter”!) growing up and she herself was very unhappy.
If you go over the different stories, you will see that they have quite different styles, and don’t really seem to be from the same person. The first paragraph of “Child of Lesbian Parents” has a very distinctive style, and other sties are written quite differently, some clearly by a mature adult.
Exactly what I was thinking. What teenager, even in the best of homes, hasn’t felt alienated from his or her family at one point or another. This doesn’t necessarily indicate bad parenting, but rather a child forming their own independent identity.
That being said, the story does sound somewhat like an adult trying to sound young. The use of the word “cuz” and the overt reference to Twilight seem a bit over the top.
But…who knows, cuz it’s anonymous.
Sorry, not going to go through the site- but was she indicating all same-sex couples were sexual predators or was she just referring to the actual cases where that has occurred? Most notably the two men who adopted a child and sexually abused him themselves and allowed others to.
It wasn’t a part of the website listed above. I believe that this is the article: thepublicdiscourse.com/2012/09/6459/
But that article isn’t comparing ‘same-sex’ couples to sexual predators. It’s describing any couples (or individuals) who can’t conceive themselves as desiring/seeking the cooperation of fertile women in order to have offspring and the difficulty in finding women willing to be surrogates. She’s against surrogacy, so she sees a need to warn young women that they’ll be approached and pressured to provide this service- be it a gay couple, a single woman, or a married couple.
I was misunderstanding, the author is seeing it in terms of the surrogate being exploited, I was thinking in terms of the few cases which have been publicized of the surrogate’s child being sexually preyed upon.
It’s more fundamental than that. It’s the quandary adopted children have as well as surrogate children, or for that matter the children of divorced parents. Particularly where one is absent:
What did my mother (or father) feel for me? What was my origin?
Even adopted children in a loving family, once they find out they’re adopted, often feel compelled to research their origin. It isn’t a matter of a lack of love in their lives, it’s a matter of knowing --why they are. How they came to be.
Read a few of the articles from the kids- they echo how my own children feel about their own mother, who decided to move out and set up a separate home and ensure they felt unwelcome there. What did/does their mom feel for them? Why did she have them?
One can logically speculate that the knowledge that your origin was to be conceived as a commodity to be sold/given away would have a profound affect on your sense of well-being, your sense of self. Not just who you are, but why you are.
You may have a point but don’t you think the happier ones should be a little bit more grateful for the ones who decided they were worth taking in (as compared to irresponsible parents who thought them as ‘commodities’)?
Last time I checked, your DNA can only define you so far… :shrug:
Yes, but regardless of their gratitude to their parents-- there’s still that desire to know one’s origins. And they do have to confront the fact that they were conceived as a commodity if donors were used. Something to be sold or given away. If they are the product of a sperm donor and a surrogate mother, they know that all they were to their father was - a bit of money in his pocket with no other connection? To their mother, she was willing to give them away, what did they actually mean to her?
Again, it’s like adopted kids in a way but with a crucial difference. Most adopted children, no matter how happy they are and how much they love their parents still want to know about their origins. Why they occurred, did they mean anything to their mother and father, why were they given up. But they weren’t created with the specific intent of being given away.
There’s often a difference between how we should feel given the perspective of an objective observer and how we do feel given living the situation ourselves.
My kids from some perspectives should be very grateful, they have a stable loving home with one parent, a parent who has chosen to remain single- no third parties complicating things. With full access of the non-custodial parent. No barriers to her access to them or their access to her in their home. Living close enough that she is there often. They have it better than many children of divorce. They should be happy right? Happier than kids less fortunate?
But they still struggle with what they mean to their mother and how she must actually feel about them (regardless of what she says), if this way of life with them as a visitor in their home is preferable to having a home with them.
Just because one child did not like her parents who happened to be lesbians does not make all same sex parents as bad parents. One cannot make the assumption that all same sex parents are bad parents just because of one person who says they are. And besides, her experience is subjective and not objective.
No, but it is a situation where a child is denied being raised with a father in the home.
Just as two homosexual men place their children in as situation of being raised without a mother in the home.
Or a single parent household, like mine, denies the child having both a mother and father in the home. In my case, no mother in the home for my children has definitely had an impact on them. Particularly my daughter going through her high school years. Even with her mother living within 5 miles and visiting regularly (almost daily).