Childless By Compassion


Me and my wife have been married for 4 years and are just beginning our journey into the Catholic Church. I was raised southern Baptist and my wife as an atheist. Our only confusion is the issue of contraception. We have decided not to have a biological child due to extreme medical and mental health issues on both sides of our families which almost certainly would be passed along to a child. We don’t want to bring a child into a life of suffering and pain. We need some guidance on this issue and have considered adoption in lieu of having our own child. Help?


Some thoughts: Discuss your medical/mental health issues with a medical doctor and counselor in the field of genetics. This should give you more data on predisposition for hereditary problems.

Spend time with families who have children with disabilities-- spend time with PEOPLE who have disabilities. Their lives are not all pain and suffering. You are focused on that, but are missing aspects of family life than include joy and happiness, too.

It’s a continual discernment process, not a one time decision. If you and your spouse discern that you are not able to bring a child into the family at a particular time, even if this goes on indefinitely, there are moral and immoral ways of doing this. Natural family planning is a moral means of spacing children. Contraception is not.


Also, make an appointment with a priest and run your thoughts past him to see what he has to say. God bless you in your faith journey.


If you are beginning your journey into the Catholic Church you need to speak to a Priest about this.


As a person with a profound genetic disability, it makes me very sad to read this sort of post. We imperfect people, even with all of the pain, all of the cruelty heaped on us, life is beautiful.


Thank you for that The Little Lady. God gives each of us unique special traits and we all are a blessing to this world. I worked with severe profound mentally and physically disabled children for many years and they taught me a WHOLE HECK OF A LOT more than I could ever teach them–our son with High functioning Autism as well. Jesus never kept His distance from those who weren’t perfect in society’s eyes and we shouldn’t either. God bless you and know that no matter what you are loved. There is NO normal person and NO normal life. All have issues and all have specialness.
Newtous sure by not having biological children by choice you may be sparing yourselves some rough patches and hard times but you will also be missing out on some absolutely beautiful moments and gifts that God knows you need.

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