it means exactly what it says, doing loving actions when the opportunity arises, and looking for the chance to do loving actions. Do every day family duties with love instead of resentment. Do not trumpet your actions, expect gratitude or even acknowledgement, just do them. Think loving thoughts, any time a bitter, resentful, recriminating, judgmental thought comes into your mind, deliberately replace it with a kind, grateful, loving, considerate, thankful thought.
Speak lovingly and bite your tongue before you let an unloving, critical or demeaning word pass your lips. Read the letter of James, every night if you have to. Express appreciation, quietly not fulsomely, at every opportunity, and never let a chance go by to make a positive comment, but don’t turn that comment into dig. “It was so nice to come home to a neat and clean room, thanks for that.” NOT “I see you finally remembered to pick up your dirty socks.”
Focus on any positive quality, word, action or attitude of your mate, no matter how small in the scale of things, and start to tune negative things out, beginning with the most annoying. However if the negatives are things that require outside help to change–alchoholism, addiction, anger management etc. we move to a new level and you need, in love, to insist they get help and that you get help as a couple. Refusal to deal with a situation that puts you or your children–or spouse–in danger is not love but the opposite.
If you perceive that all these changes are about your attitude, your inner life, and your words and actions, you are exactly right.