Choosing Godparents for our Baby


We are candidates in the church, and will be entering in January. (Yay!) We have a 9 year old daughter who will be entering the church at the Easter Vigil, a 3 year old who will be entering the church with us with our profession of faith, (they have both already been baptized in another Christian denomination) and we will be having our littlest one who is currently 4 months old baptized in February.

Our oldest 2 have godparents who are Christians that were chosen at the time of their baptisms, and they are all good friends of ours and have a relationship with our children. It is very important to us that the godparents of our children take this seriously and love and get to know our children.

Because of our Protestant background, the majority of the people we know are Protestant, and therefore can not be godparents for our little guy. We have a wonderful friend whose wife is Catholic, although he is Protestant, and we had asked them to be the godparents (godparent and Christian witness accordingly). We were very excited about this, our son is actually named after our friend's brother who passed away at about the time we conceived, and they are dear friends who really do love the Lord and have a beautiful family. Here comes the problem - we found out that their marriage was done outside of the church and they never had it convalidated, (she has received all of the other sacraments). This means that unless they are agreeable to getting this done, we have no godparents for our little one. I completely understand the church's teachings in this and why it is done this way - I know that because she is Catholic, she should have followed the church's teachings when she entered into marriage and that she is living in an invalid marriage right now. I have told them the situation and said I don't want to make them feel obligated or pressured to have this done for our sake, but that I did hope it was something she would consider having done for herself and her marriage, and also that regardless of whether they could be godparents or not, they of course have a special place in our and our son's life. This leaves us in a bit of a jam, as we now do not know anyone else who could be godparents. I know we could find someone very easily through the parish or our homeschool group, but I am concerned that without having a real previous relationship with the godparents, that this would put us at risk of the people not fully being in our child's life as our other children's godparents are. The ironic thing is that we have a couple friends who are sacramentally ok to be godparents, but are not at all on my list of people I would choose as godparents, because it is more cultural for them and their lives are not the example I would want for my child in the role of godparent. My husband and I discussed it, and personally we feel that non-Catholic Christians who are faithful, are better than a sacramentally valid godparent who is lukewarm, but of course we are following what the church teaches and trying our best to come to terms with all of this. It is just a struggle, because I am concerned we have hurt our friends by basically taking this away from them unless they meet these certain conditions, although I pray that they would come to want to do this for their own sake anyway. And I also am not sure what we will do about finding godparents, so I am in prayer over that.

Has anyone else gone through a difficult time in finding godparents, and how did it end for you? Any advice? For now I am just praying and asking God to show us who our sweet little guy's godparents should be. I'm sure they will turn up. ;)


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