Choosing not the Keep the Baby

:signofcross::bighanky:

parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/06/16/choosing-not-to-keep-the-baby/?src=twt&twt=nytimes

That’s one of the saddest, most confused things I’ve ever read. I stopped reading after this paragraph:

“Once I came to the decision to terminate the pregnancy, so much of the guilt and sadness I’d been feeling melted away. I felt happy for the first time since finding out and I feel like my family is supportive of my decision. I’m focusing on the child I’ll have in a few years from now with someone I feel safe with and supported by. The life of that child will be infinitely better than this one and, sometimes, I wonder if such a miserable, lonely woman could even have a healthy child. There’s more to being a good birth mother than avoiding alcohol and eating right and I just don’t know if I have it. I’m a responsible girl but maybe that means knowing when you’ve put too much on yourself and it won’t work out.”

How do some people come to the conclusion that they’re being a good mother by killing their child? I guess it’s too bad they don’t teach logic in school anymore.

Wow. How tragic. After reading the article, I read one page of comments and it just hit me hard how very different my view is from the views of those women who commented. Wow. Simply stunning and disheartening.:sad_yes:

That paragraph was a slap for me. It is unbelievable that a lot of people think like this. Why do people who cannot bear the thought of giving their baby to someone else to love and raise think it is a better choice to kill the baby? There is much in this world that I will never understand. And, I do not wish to understand some of those things.

I cried after reading that article. I just can’t believe someone could love a baby so much, she couldn’t think of letting someone else have it but could kill the baby. :frowning:

I’d happily take that baby. Happily.

:bighanky::gopray2::signofcross:

That’s one of the saddest, most confused things I’ve ever read. This paragraph says it all I think:

“Once I came to the decision to terminate the pregnancy, so much of the guilt and sadness I’d been feeling melted away. I felt happy for the first time since finding out and I feel like my family is supportive of my decision. I’m focusing on the child I’ll have in a few years from now with someone I feel safe with and supported by. The life of that child will be infinitely better than this one and, sometimes, I wonder if such a miserable, lonely woman could even have a healthy child. There’s more to being a good birth mother than avoiding alcohol and eating right and I just don’t know if I have it. I’m a responsible girl but maybe that means knowing when you’ve put too much on yourself and it won’t work out.”

How do some people come to the conclusion that they’re being a good mother by killing their child? I guess it’s too bad they don’t teach logic in school anymore.

From this

So many of the comments urged me to consider adoption but I** already feel so attached to the little zygote inside of me **(my friend named it Ziggy) that I don’t think I could carry a baby to term just to give it away. The mere thought of handing my child to someone else, as altruistic as it is, breaks me.

to this

Once I came to the decision to terminate the pregnancy, so much of the guilt and sadness I’d been feeling melted away. I felt happy for the first time since finding out and I feel like my family is supportive of my decision.

You would think her head would explode from that much cognitive dissonance. Mine is aching. :banghead:

And it’s not just us pro-lif3e radicals that are confused:

From the comments:

I’m pro-choice, but I’m having trouble understanding loving the baby too much to give it away for adoption and too little to have it? That aside, I wish you luck.

I read through some of the comments, and they’re even more appalling than the article itself. And on a “parenting” blog, too. Everything here is about subjective feelings, and not about what’s objectively right or wrong. One of the comments said something like “You’ll know it’s the right decision if it feels right”. There’s no right or wrong anymore, just feelings.

I was curious to see if the comments would get better after the first page, so I read another page of comments too. That was a mistake. Very few comments are pro-life. What a sad commentary on our culture. This is the way people think? Please God help us all.

That article made me so angry. Where is this world going? How bad have things become that a mother would feel better for murdering her child? It’s an absolute abomination.

And judging by the comments left on the article itself, it seems that most of the readers agree with her decision! Unbelievable.

You know, maybe we should all be putting these pro-life comments on the original source page instead of just on Catholic Answers forums. I mean, aren’t we just preaching to the choir here? Even if most of the world’s thinking on this is backwards, we still have to be a witness for life and perhaps when folks start hearing the other side of this, then they might start changing their views on this.

Ah I just noticed it is on the NY Times - a decidedly leftist rag. The conspiracy theorist in me (I generally try to not let him do the thinking :wink: ) wonders if perhaps the NY Times censors some of the responses that don’t mesh with their thinking in an effort to manage the perceptions of their readers… just a conspiracy theory though - no evidence to support it. At the very least I’m not surprised to see this sort of thing in their -]Gobbels-esque propaganda literature/-], I mean newspaper.

I’m beginning to really think the secular media is actively trying to shape our worldview to this contrived sort of Brave New World image they have… I mean, I’m not a tin-foil-hat-wearing, spent-all-of-1999-making-a-bunker-for-Y2K types, but when you put life in terms of a battle between the forces of God and the powers of evil, it then seems that as time goes on, the clearer the battle lines are becoming and who stands on what side. That being said, it’s clear what side most of the secular media has chosen, and becomes poigniantly so when we see this sort of thing in the paper.

But hey, who knows, I’m probably just one of those right-wing Jesus freaks who sees the Devil under every rock…

My heart ached after reading the first few paragraphs. I can’t imagine how anyone can think murdering a child to continue with their education is the right thing to do. She made the decision to have intercourse, and didn’t like it when a baby was the outcome. How anyone can think of a baby as a punishment is beyond me. People continue to become increasingly selfish and self-serving of their wants and desires. Would it have killed her to wait until her child was grown up (if she kept it) to go back to graduate school? NO! It would have been difficult, but she could have done it. What gets me is how she said she was attached to the “zygote”, but then decided to murder it anyway. Ugh. I feel like puking and crying at the same time.

:bighanky:

I responded, the response is there. Please let’s pray for her, that she changes her mind and gives her baby LIFE.

I think that I would be holier and have more time for grace if the temtations were far from me. I would stay out of places where I could sin, watch movies, or television which were not tempting in bad thoughts or action, I think its better to not be tempted than to constantly fighting the occaission of sin in places, people and desires.

Saint John of the Cross
Soul craving to see God

I live yet no true life I know,
and living thus expectantly,
I die because I do not die…

Within myself no life I know
And without God life cannot be;
Then, since there’s neither life for me
What can my life be here below?
A thousand deaths I undergo
And for my true life here I sigh
Dying because I do not die

This life that has been giv’n to me
Is but true life’s negation --nay
’Tis death that comes with each new day
Until I live, my God , with Thee
Hearken, O God, to this my plea.
No longing for this life have I
Who die because I do not die

Absent, my Lord and God from Thee
What gain I as I draw my breath?
What taste I, but the pains of death
The sharpest that I e’er did see?
Yet, living perseveringly,
For my unhappy lot I sigh
Who die because I do not die.

The fish that leaves the river’s brim
Finds mingled suffering and gain
At first he suffers death-like pain
But as the last death comes to him
And, as my wretched life burned dim
What death can equal this? I cry
The more I live the more I die

I gaze on Thee, to assuage my pain
Beneath the sacramental veils
Yet even here my spirit fails
Because The Self i cannot gain
With deeper anguish I remain
Who see Thee this imperfectly
And die because I do not die

And If, O Lord, I seek for joy
In hopes of seeing Thee above
With doubled grief my hopes alloy
Thus hopes my soul would e’er employ
While fear is ever standing by;
I die because I do not die

O save me from this death-like case
My God, and give true life to me
Hold me no more, but set me free
From straitest bondage in this place
Look how I yearn to see Thy face
And how I grieve so utterly
Dying because I do not die

My death I’ll morn unceasingly,
Lamenting life that still is mine
What time my sins, as I repine
Detain me here when I would flee.
And oh, my God, when shall it be
That I may gladly, truly cry
Now live I and no longer die

The article was bad, the comments were worse. I read several pages of them and most of them are “you made the right choice for you”

But again the logical disconnect of loving the baby too much to give him away but not enough to keep him. :shrug::(:mad:

I was pregnant and gave birth during my first year of law school at age 22/23. Granted I was married but I was only married as a few days longer than I was pregnant.
I even took my finals 2 weeks after giving birth and went back to class a week after giving birth. (because i thought it better to not put off my finals) people on that thread kept saying women are strong and not fragle, but then saying she was strong for making this decision. Well isn’t the woman who chooses to keep the baby under such rough circumstances even stronger? I just remember holding my little one in my arms when he was a day old and he kicked against my tummy, it felt the same as when he kicked me in utero. I had always been pro-life, but then I knew for sure without any doubt, that these little ones should never have to die because we find them inconvenient.

It just breaks my heart when I see people killing their children, when so many loving stable couples cannot even have one. :frowning:

Pax

The comments made me sad AND upset. One person said she spent a lot of $ on fertility treatments and then found out the baby would be Downs. She ABORTED the baby!

I don’t understand why some colleges and universities can’t make a flexible program for pregnant students / graduate students.

I wonder if she went through with it.:frowning:

I am shocked and saddened with all the posters telling her that she was doing a good thing. I thought no one was “pro-abortion”.

Poor girl, so smart academically…yet so confused spiritually. I hope she changes her mind.

My sentiments exactly!

Gosh, what terrible “Pro choice” things people say.

Windswept: why did God give us the ability to figure out how to do abortions, etc, if she didn’t want us to do them?

How do you know that God isn’t saying to herself, “Emmie is in no position to have a baby right now. She needs to go to grad school. She can have a baby later”?

Another question I have for Christians: if God is the only author of life and death, why is ok for old men to take medicine for their high cholesterol and their impotence, etc, but women shouldn’t have abortions? To be consistent, shouldn’t Christians say that God should decide whether the old men should live or die, not a doctor or the man himself? Isn’t it interfering with God’s will to take cholesterol medication (or Viagra)? Maybe God wants old men to be impotent, or dead.

That is, why do we use all other kinds of technology at our disposal to prolong the lives of 80 year old men, but we deny the technology of abortion (and sometimes birth control) to young women? That’s not consistent. Either God gets to decide who lives or dies, or s/he doesn’t.

:banghead:
Growing up, I always thought that NY times readers were intelligent. Doesn’t seem to be the case does it?

I think I spend too much time here. I am so shaken about this.

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.