Choosing Your Friends Wisely - A Question

Hi everyone. Lets say that you know a person who is involved in a gravely immoral lifestyle such as homosexuality, is it okay to be friends with such a person or not? :confused:

Maybe this will be of assistance


I think there is a difference between being an accomplice to sin and to being a friend of a sinner. Should we be friends with those who are practicing grave sin unrepentantly?

Maybe ask your priest at confession, i have no idea. But if we could not that would be we could not be friends with Atheists?

I will do that but maybe for now someone else will come along who knows the answer. :shrug:

I’m kind of struggling with the same problem, i don’t know whether or not to apply to a university that participates in immoral acts (embryonic stem cell research)

Ah yeah.

Let’s think it through by reversing the situation.

Suppose you were the one with an immoral lifestyle. Suppose all the good Catholics concluded that it was bad to be your friend and refused to associate with you.

You would have no one to suggest that you take another look at how you are living, no one to give you helpful things to read, no one to take you to Confession when you were ready to make things right.

God could certainly act in your life more directly, or could arrange for you to “accidentally” come across the information you needed to turn from your sin, but don’t you think He would want you to have good friends giving you good example and helping you along to return to His grace?

Did Jesus shun sinners?


Father Serpa answered that question pretty well, I thought. The university isn’t going to stop doing such research because you decided to boycott, but you might actually do some good while yo’ure there.


Hmmm, good points. Thank you.

baltobetsy said it well, but to reiterate, yes, it is I think encouraged to be friends with anyone as long as you are not in danger of sinning yourself. By your actions and words maybe others will alter their sin with you around them, without you there they might not.

I refuse to hang out with people who openly cheat on their spouse for two reasons: 1. If they will cheat on their spouse they will cheat a friend. 2. It is a seductive thrill I need not accustom myself too in fear I myself will fall.

I would have no problem hanging around a a homosexual because I do not fear I will indulge in it myself.

It’s okay to be friends with anyone. I don’t give a hoot if someone judge’s me by the friends I hang out with.

I know my opinion is probably irrelevent here because I’m not catholic and catholic rules don’t apply to me…but I want to put my 2 cents in anyways…

My very best friend is gay and he is the most amazing guy I know. We make each other better people and he’s saved my life in more ways than one. He’s the only person I trust completely…for me thats a huge deal because I hardly trust anyone. I can talk to him about anything as well. He’s never once tried to push what you guys would call the “homosexual agenda” on me or anyone else. I think not being friends with someone based simply on sexual orientation is a very sad and shallow thing to do…people are people and sometimes the best of friends can come from the least expected places.

Call me cynical, but I’d guess most universities participate in immoral acts in some form or another. :rolleyes:

If you go there, just “represent” and maybe that will encourage others to develop their beliefs as well. Often potential Christians just need someone to speak out or act as an example to encourage them to join up. There are always people on the fence and if they see they are not the only one who doesn’t want to roll with the mob that may help them cross over.

A lot of people are generally pretty insecure and just need someone to lead or inspire them.

I’m certainly not one to preach because for the most part I wouldn’t hang out with gays or liberals or anyone else really involved in an immoral lifestyle. There are good people to hang out with.

In my second year of college I met a girl who was really messed up. I didn’t like her. She was kinda skanky, involved in immoral activity, depressed because of it, didn’t really have a clear grasp on morality, whatever. I still hung out with her though, she seemed like a good kid despite, she just didn’t really know, didn’t have a strong support system, a strong upbringing, whatever. She has since done a complete 180, got baptized last Easter, and we are engaged to be married in July. She’s a wonderful person, and God really blessed us by bringing us together. We look forward to having as many kids as God wants to give us and hopefully homeschooling them as well. You never know.

(I know this doesn’t apply to you, but I’m just sayin.)

That somewhat illustrates the point i was trying to make above-- she was probably just going along with the crowd, maybe a bit insecure to break away from it (as we all are–wow, i know I was) but deep down, like you said, was a good person and just needed someone like you to bring that out to the surface.

Congratulations and may God bless the both of you, your future marriage and your future family :smiley:

That’s really great to hear!

“Love thy neighbor as thyself.”

I think it’s fine to be friends with everyone. You can always hope to be a good influence and a light to people.

The S&P were sinners, and Jesus did quite a bit of rebuking as far as they were concerned.

Tough question. If the person is Christian, the friendship shouldn’t continue actively. By that I mean that if this friend ever needs help, provide it as Christian charity dictates, but don’t “encourage” it, do you know what I mean. I know I’m going to get dogged for that poor expression, so if I’m misunderstood I’ll explain later when I’m more awake.

If this person isn’t Christian than it’s a little different, as his conscience very likely isn’t properly formed. Either way, consult a holy and orthodox priest for guidance.

If you were to stop speaking to a person just because of their sins, then you’d have no one to talk to. We’re Catholic, not JWs. We don’t shun people because of their actions. Jesus “hung around” with sinners, even prostitutes and murderers. Did they have a change of heart? Yes they did. Maybe your friendship in one way or another will influence your friend, maybe not. The thing here is to think “What would Jesus do in this situation?”, and there you have the answer.

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