Christian school complains 8-year-old girl isn't girly enough

I am glad I was a tomboy 50 years ago. There was never any talk of tomboys being gender confused - we just liked playing with the boy toys (Mighty Matilda the Battleship, yeah!). And also, my mom considered dolls with breasts to be unsuitable for play (no Barbies for me).

Being a tomboy was great preparation for parenting 8 sons.

Right there with you. My sister and I both loved playing with my brothers trucks and cars. We played “camping” and “exploring” more than we played house. Though my sister was rougher and tougher than I was she did like playing “house” more than I did. I went for reading and science experiments.

When you have to start sending little girls home from school because they are too “boyish” or the tomboy type then there is something wrong with the school not the girl.

Oh love it. Thank you so much. My paternal grandfather was pictured in ringlets and coveralls. He made the sweetest looking girl you ever saw. And believe me when I say he was all man. He had three sons and there was not an ounce of being feminine in the man.

People are really starting to overwork this thing.

Have you all looked at the photo?

She really does look like a boy.

I’m glad for you if you can feel comfortable with this. I don’t, and I’m not ashamed to admit it. I think she’s confusing, and I can’t even imagine how children feel around her.

I think that their feelings should be respected. If a child doesn’t feel comfortable around a person or a situation, we “enlightened” adults shouldn’t insist that “everything’s OK, honey.” It might not be OK. Children often have an amazing instinct for avoiding those things that are “not right.”

A private school has every right to set rules and expect the families to follow them. A private school has every right to attempt to develop a certain “feel” to the population of families.

Why doesn’t the family pull the little girl from this very conservative school and send her to a school that is more willing to welcome her with no expectations?

She’s a heavier set 8 year old girl with short hair, it’s a shame adults can’t leave her well enough alone simply because she doesn’t conform to their idealized version of what a little girl should look like.

Articles have stated that the children were not sure if she was a boy or a girl.

Frankly, I think an 8-year old is too young to set her own course and make decisions about the “image” that she wants to project to others. I think that she could use some guidance from caring adults.

Most parents have no problem guiding their child in social norms in various settings (e.g., telling your child that they will dress up for a wedding and not wear jeans, etc.). I don’t understand why the little girls’ caregivers don’t help her find a hairstyle that is short and sassy, but obviously a girl’s haircut, and clothing that encourages an active lifestyle, but is obviously girls’ clothing.

Looking like a girl doesn’t mean having long hair down to her waist, and “frilly dresses.” There are plenty of haircuts and clothing choices that are easy-care and “athletic,” but still make it clear that she’s a girl. I personally think jeans can look very feminine depending on what top is paired with the jeans.

I suspect that it’s easier for the caregivers to just allow the little girl to have her own way. That’s sad for the little girl.

This has nothing to do with “homophobia”. It has everything to do with private schooling. If you don’t want your child to obey standards of dress and comportment, don’t send them to a school where those are the expectations. It’s not like there aren’t lots of other places for her to attend school. She (and her parents/grandparents/guardians) weren’t a good fit for this school.

Another reality of private schooling is that sometimes the parents’ behavior matters too. It’s very possible in this scenario that the school tried to deal with the adults first. If the adults were abrasive or uncooperative, the school may have decided to part ways with the family. It may have much more to do with how the guardians interacted with the administration than with the girl herself.

This is ridiculous.
How is having short hair and collecting baseballs not “girly”?
Audrey Hepburn had short, cropped hair. And so did Julie Andrews when she played the nun Maria Von Trapp in The Sound of Music. And so did Sophia Loren. Are these women not girly enough?
How does collecting coins go against a “biblical lifestyle”?

The great-grandmother answered well.
Like any “good Christian” or loving human being, of course she would still love her great-grandaughter if she was gay. There’s no law against that, that’s not a “sin”–to love your family. And it’s not a sin to be gay either, as we all know.

If this school is going to define little boys and girls by the length of hair and their childhood hobbies…they are heading for big, big trouble. On so many levels.

I wouldn’t even use this term “tom-boy” anymore, it doesn’t make sense in today’s society. Girls who like baseball and have short hair are just that…girls who like baseball and have short hair. They are not girls trying to be boys.



It’s just semantics. They are the same garment, with a different label.
But they are still the same thing.


We don’t know that grandma “made” this a news story, do we?
That she called the press?
As a reporter, I can tell you that this information often gets to a newsroom other ways, and then reporters call up the families or show up at their door, asking for interviews.

And if they wrongly dismissed this child, it SHOULD be a news story!


Does this school specify in their official standard of dress guidelines that their female students must not have short hair ?
Or wear T-shirts?



Their dress code is HERE

Weapons manufacturers already make pink sparkly weapons for grown up girls. Women are applying for concealed weapons licenses in droves. Now the toy manufacturers are catching up for the daughters of these women. I see as many women at the shooting range as men.

My only complaint is that the girly guns are all pink. I hate pink. What about a shiny black gun with rhinestones? I would so have to buy one.

The most important line of which is:

The school reserves the right to make final decisions regarding any areas not covered in the dress code as outlined above.

There is no “wrongly dismissed” concept for students in private schools. That’s a concept that applies to employment. A private school can choose to disenroll a student as it sees fit for the good of the school and/or for the good of the other students.

I posted this over in the World News thread about this story and I’ll repost it here too…

From the local news station, here is a copy of the school’s letter from February that the grandmother gave to journalists:

The school’s letter references ongoing conversations and concerns this school year, as well as notes their concern that the child was in counseling “to steer her a particular direction” with regard to identity issues. The school’s letter then goes on to state that they believe the school’s principles and practices are in contradiction “to the direction [the child] is heading at this point” and that they don’t want the child’s “future years to be filled with confusion and conflicting input from those guiding her.”

It is tough to tell the whole story because of the confidentiality restrictions the school is bound by, but even the school’s letter that the grandmother released to the news suggests to me that there might be a lot more going on besides just a child who is a tomboy.

Here’s another followup from the local news station:

Timberlake Christian School released a statement Wednesday afternoon through Liberty Counsel, a legal organization that champions issues of religious freedom.

The statement reads, in part: “When elementary children and their parents or guardians express concerns regarding use of the restroom and other matters arising from the sensitive issues here, the School has a duty to address those concerns and to ensure that all interests are heard and protected in accordance with the Christian mission of the School.”

Several parents at Timberlake Christian School, who claim to have knowledge of the situation, say Kahle was talking about having a sex change and wanted to use the boy’s restroom.

Kahle’s family told WDBJ7 that, to the best of their knowledge, those accusations are false.

Who said having short hair isn’t girly in this story? Did I miss that quote?

Remember this is a patriarchal religion: men are afforded choices. Women? Not so much. That’s the way God intended it. :rolleyes:

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