Christmas grab bags


#1

This past weekend I managed to upset my mom to the point where she barely spoke to me (like maybe 5 sentences total per day). I believe it is due to the fact that I opted out of my family grab bag for the second year in a row due to money (the min. for the grab bag is $50 plus each person has to chip in $15 - $20 for Christmas dinner catering instead of us doing a potluck). I did, however, decide to be a part of my dd’s dad’s family grab bag $20 max. because it’s cheap and they have always been so welcoming to me. This is the first year they are doing a grab bag and well, they don’t complain and compare presents and how much so and so spent, etc. Well, my mom doesn’t seem to understand why I would be a part of their grab bag and not my own family’s. Most of my family is well off (except for me and one or two cousins) so for them, it isn’t a big deal to spend $50 minimum per person. Am I crazy to want out of my family’s grab bag? I don’t want out of spending Christmas with them, I just want out of the extravagence.


#2

Maybe your family could do the grab bag but say that the MAXIMUM is $50. Seems kind of tacky to do it the other way around. Every family has richer-poorer relatives. It’s important to consider the less wealthy. Dinner sounds reasonable, though.


#3

$20 per person for catering!!! :eek: My family would never ever spend that much on catering. We buy a big cold cut tray from the deli, chips and dips - and then bring desserts or sodas.

Order a pizza for your family and opt out of the catered meal.

We do maximums on the grab bag gift - it is $25.

My advice, there was no need to tell your mom that you were participating with the other family grab bag - I’d have just kept quiet about that, and graciously not participated due to financial constraints. Show up after dinner with a big plate of cookies for everyone to share.


#4

How does a Christmas grab bag work? I’ve always believed that the presents are extras on Christmas, something that we aren’t supposed to believe are guarented to us.


#5

In our family, all of the adults who want to participate put their name in a hat. Each draws a name. That is the person you will be gifting. With large families, it helps - in my family I’m one of 4 siblings. Bring in spouses and now adult children, and no one could afford gifts for everyone else.

This way, everyone has a gift, and it keeps things in control.


#6

I see. that makes sense. I am just sending my brother and sister lots of home baked goodies this year. But when you include kids, who really want a gift, it can ge expensive.:slight_smile:


#7

In our family we only buy gifts for the children and then we put all of the siblings and their spouses names into a hat and draw. The limit is 40.00


#8

No you are not wrong for opting out.

Your family is being unreasonable.


#9

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