Well… yes I’m afraid I’ve had a very bad experience this christmas with my brother. I’m posting here because I think my family is in need of your prayers.
Today after christmas dinner my brother and I managed to get into a serious argument. It all started when I joked about my brothers web site not being purchased by a larger company.
This caused him to turn on me and make a smart remark in reply. I then asked him what was wrong and he jumped on me again with another remark. I could sense, as I have sensed for the past two years that he was holding a huge grudge against me. I wasn’t sure what it was but I knew that I had about enough of it. The last thing I want is my brother to hate me for some reason.
I then raised my voice out of anoyance and asked him further by saying, " I really don’t know what is wrong with you. " Why are you so mad at me all the time?" He started to shout at me and yell his head off right infront of my mother and my father. I stood up to him and confronted him on everything he was saying. He acussed me of all manner of unfounded actions and started to bring up the past. A past that I said I was sorry for a few years ago. He told me that he didn’t trust me and then accused me of being selfish and jealous of him. He told me I was insane. "He yelled at me and did it right infront of my face. he sai that he wanted to kick my *** in. I yelled right back at him to let him know that I wasn’t going to let him push me around like that. There were many times during the arugment with him that I camled down and tried to talk to him in a very calm manner. But he only accused me of “acting all calm” (whatever that ment)
There were several times when my borther yelled right in my face with total anger and hate for me. He wanted to punch me. I just stod there and yelled right back at him. I was ready to block any punch that he tried to through at me. There was one point when my father had to step in between us. I had no intention of punching him at all but I did want to see how far he was willing to go. I thought that he needed to hell at me just to get it out of his system. I let him do that and I even let him continue to insult me and say all kinds of hurtfull things. There was one point in the argument where I just stood there and said, “is there anything else you want to say?” He took me up on it and continued to tell me that I deserved to lose my condo. He said it over and over again that I deserved it. Anyway, I just hope this is all out of his system.
The sad thing is I don’t feel that it is. I think he will always hate me for some reason. Until he opens his heart to Jesus things will never change with him. he is too full of hate.
Anyway. I feel really bad because my mother started crying.
Well… I think I might go out with my friends to night at 10:30 (who are jewish) just to let my brother get over his hate and anger. I hate to just leave my family on christmas, but I just don’t feel welcome at home. Don’t worry about me I will have my scapular on. I think my brother needs to find some peace with my family tonight without me.
Please pray for my brother and I. I know that I’m not perfect but by brother clearly does not have jesus in his heart. If he did he would not of said the things that he said to me. Everything is very awkward right now. My family has a difficult relationship because of all the hard things that has happened to us in the past. My brother expects things to be different but he doesn’t help matters.
What can I do to get him to have trust in me? He doesn’t have any respect for me either. He thinks I’m some kind of evil bastard.
He accused me to throwing the donation I made while at church infront of everyones face. The truth is I hid the money in my hands but the usher to the right of me was too quick. I had to reach around across my family to put the money in from the usher on the left. He never made any donation and yet he calls me selfish?
Things are calm now but my brother and I are still not talking or even looking at each other. He is my younger brother and I know that I am the one that needs to set him right. The sad thing is I just don’t know what to do. he is 28 and I’m 30. if christ isn’t in his heart then there isn’t much I can work with.
oh I went out and picked up some tim bits and put them on the table infront of him. he said thanks so maybe there is hope. anyway… I just wish I knew what to do.