So this more of a short story with a few questions attached at the end. I wasn’t sure what site to post on, so i decided to come here.
I grew up Catholic, my mom was born Catholic and my dad converted to Catholicism in the early 2000’s. I went on a college externship in Italy for three months and (now regretfully never went to mass), a classmate that I had a giant crush on went with me. I told her in Italy that I liked her, and she told me she looked at me more as a brother than a boyfriend. I was always there for her when she needed someone to talk to…well we finally started dating. We should have realized from the start that it wasn’t going to work out: it was long distance (I live in Atlanta, she lives in Knoxville), all the odds were against our relationship. We stayed together for 3 years and I asked her to marry me. Her parents were hesitant to bless our marriage (they actually never gave me an answer), it was absolutely one of the most awkward situations I’ve put myself in. Their concern was our faith: a Catholic and a member of the Church of Christ. I was so in love, that I said I would give my Catholic faith up…but something deep down was telling me no. Her parents came down here to talk to my family and I expressed my concerns about giving up my faith. I felt it wasn’t necessary that we could continue to be what we both are. Her mom said: "You can remain Catholic, you can go to church with our daughter but your kids (that haven’t even been created yet) will attend the Church of Christ. Well remember love is blinding, I agreed, we just wanted to be together. The more I thought about it the more I wondered why is she telling me how I should live my life, how we are to live our lives, how we are to raise our children.
There were many times we talked on the phone at night and it became a Catholic bashing session…the Pope can’t tell me what to do…The Pope means nothing to me, thats how I was raised…It hurt I will never forget some of the bashing that came from her.
Anyways, I told her I couldn’t marry her, that I loved her more than anything but I felt that I would always regret my decision to leave the Catholic Church…and the bashing continued (I assume out of frustration of what was going on). Instead of hurting us more later on that it was best that we end it now.
The weekend after I went to mass for the first time in months, OH it felt amazing, I felt at peace in my heart that I had made the decision to follow what was calling me deep down. However, the negativity kept coming…we continued talking for a few weeks after that and one night she told me “You will probably be dating 5 months from now, I’ll be single the rest of my life.” Funnily enough, she was dating within 3 months of our breaking off the engagement…it was difficult seeing someone who said they loved you so much, move on so quickly knowing that you were there for her for 5 years of both of your lives. (btw I have been on 1 date since this happened 2 years ago)
I continue to wonder though, did I make the right decision, I don’t understand or see where God is taking me but I’m trying to trust in him.
Ok so I lied…I do have questions:
- If you were in this situation what would you have done?
- Do you think I made the right decision?
- Why have I not been able to move on, if I’m the one that decided to end our relationship?