Clarification on Sex


#1

I would like to get some clarification just so I'm 100% sure on the "official" teaching of the Church on this. I'm going to try to be as "family friendly" as I can but due to the nature of the question please don't read on if you don't want to.

I'm married and before I started practicing as a Catholic I had a vasectomy. I've confessed it and while in many ways I regret it, I've accepted it.

My question...I know the Church teaches that I should only "finish" sex inside my wife due to being open to life. Since I'm no longer able to "make babies" anyway is this still a requirement?

I believe the other part of finishing in this way is to promote unity with my wife, which I'm for, however this rule is causing some issues between my wife and I. She would rather I occasionally not finish inside her because it is "messy" and depending on the time and place can be quite a nuisance. It has even (many times) caused us to not have sex.

What she (and I) would like to do (occasionally) is "pull out" at the last moment so its much easier to "clean up" after word. In my opinion this would do much more to bring us closer as husband and wife. In addition, this is not reducing the chances of being open to life as its already not possible.

Thanks for any input. I'm mostly looking for an official Church ruling on this situation but if there is not one than people's opinions are fine.


#2

[quote="inomcoke, post:1, topic:219200"]
I would like to get some clarification just so I'm 100% sure on the "official" teaching of the Church on this. I'm going to try to be as "family friendly" as I can but due to the nature of the question please don't read on if you don't want to.

I'm married and before I started practicing as a Catholic I had a vasectomy. I've confessed it and while in many ways I regret it, I've accepted it.

My question...I know the Church teaches that I should only "finish" sex inside my wife due to being open to life. Since I'm no longer able to "make babies" anyway is this still a requirement?

I believe the other part of finishing in this way is to promote unity with my wife, which I'm for, however this rule is causing some issues between my wife and I. She would rather I occasionally not finish inside her because it is "messy" and depending on the time and place can be quite a nuisance. It has even (many times) caused us to not have sex.

What she (and I) would like to do (occasionally) is "pull out" at the last moment so its much easier to "clean up" after word. In my opinion this would do much more to bring us closer as husband and wife. In addition, this is not reducing the chances of being open to life as its already not possible.

Thanks for any input. I'm mostly looking for an official Church ruling on this situation but if there is not one than people's opinions are fine.

[/quote]

Well, first of all, NO form of sterilization is 100% effective, except removal of both ovaries on a woman.

So, that being said, you should complete your lovemaking as the Church teaches. I'm sorry your wife feels like it's "messy", perhaps she should use a liner or thin pad that she probably has around for lighter menstrual days, if she's that uncomfortable with the "after effects" of lovemaking.


#3

The Church teaching is that you need to finish every marital act inside your wife. Anything other than that is contraceptive and/or masturbatory.

Like the above poster said, your wife can still conceive in spite of your vasectomy, though it’s much less likely…sex always needs to be open to life, even when the creation of new life seems impossible.


#4

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