Clever little marriage joke


#1

A friend of mine e-mailed this cute little story to me, and I just had to share it:


Celibacy can be a choice in life, or a condition imposed by circumstances.

While attending a Marriage Weekend, Walter and his wife Ann listened to the instructor declare, “It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other…”

He then addressed the men, “Can you name and describe your wife’s favorite flower?”

Walter leaned over, touched Ann’s arm gently, and whispered, “Gold Medal-All-Purpose, isn’t it?”

And thus began Walter’s life of celibacy…


#2

that's cute :)


#3

once you are married you can no longer be celibate, because that means the state of being unmarried, but you sure can learn to put up with long periods of shall we say, continence.

don’t know if I would call it a joke, but we have been going around with another couple looking for homes for sale in the many retirement parks around here, then we compare notes. The men never, ever, can tell you what color anything is, what the kitchen looks like, or even whether there is carpet or tile, if there is a dishwasher and disposal, but they know the exact specs on any TVs and electronics, whether it is wired for satellite or cable, if wireless internet is available, they could not tell you if the bedroom has a closet or how many bathrooms,but they know exactly where they plan to install their big screen TVs, and to the square inch how much grass there is to cut.


#4

PuzzleAnnie, I read your story and realized I would be useless in helping a man find a home. I couldn't care less and wouldn't think to ask about wireless Internet or satellite/cable connectivity (I don't have a television--I'm more of a book-reading girl). However, I would be flabbergasted if a man forgot to ask about the number of closets (VERY important information!!!!), the location and number of bathrooms, the color scheme, and all those other critical pieces of information about a new home.

I guess God really did know best when He created us male and female--we really DO need each other! :)


#5

It is a observation of mine, most boys only know primary colors. That’s why crayola makes the small boxes:D


#6

My name isn’t Walter…

Regards,
Ponyguy


#7

LOL that’s what my dad said. He had some leftover paint, four cans, of ‘white’ well you ladies know what I mean by ‘white’ They were off-white, bright white, eggshell and cream-white. My dad happily used all four cans one by one and created quite the workroom, with all sorts of streaks of the different white. To this day he can’t see the “edges” where the white changes. To him, and my brothers, its all white.


#8

*Miss Linda,
I love the Clever little marriage joke! It's cute!
God Bless,
Angel Face
*


#9

hehehe…yeah…we have our priorities! Or more…charitably :wink: men prefer to allow women to play to their strengths. Our walls here are beige. Or are they? dun dun dun Isn’t it a fact that the paint chip is actually labelled Gobi Desert Sand?

And white is never “white”. It’s Eggshell, or Bunny White, or Mother of Pearl, and here’s my favourite: “Off-White”. “Off-white” is like “off-Broadway”; if it’s not on Broadway, it is ipso facto off-Broadway. My bedroom is “off-white”, but I prefer to call it green, or more accurately, according to what I remember…Mallard Green.

I wonder if any of the ladies here can tell the difference between “Desert Rose” and “Nevada Sunset” ? :whackadoo: :bluelite: :jrbirdman: :extrahappy: :smiley:


#10

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:


#11

[quote="Spirithound, post:9, topic:199470"]
And white is never "white". It's Eggshell, or Bunny White, or Mother of Pearl, and here's my favourite: "Off-White". "Off-white" is like "off-Broadway"; if it's not on Broadway, it is ipso facto off-Broadway. My bedroom is "off-white", but I prefer to call it green, or more accurately, according to what I remember....Mallard Green.

I wonder if any of the ladies here can tell the difference between "Desert Rose" and "Nevada Sunset" ? :whackadoo: :bluelite: :jrbirdman: :extrahappy: :D

[/quote]

Wouldn't Nevada Sunset be slightly more orange? :p

I agree with you about off-white. It doesn't convey much information. I mean, is it off-white in the direction of cream, or off-white in the direction of eggshell, or off-white in the direction of glacier, or off-white in the direction of seafoam... :D

--Jen

P.S. I think you made up "Bunny White," but I can't prove it. ;)


#12

[quote="happymommy, post:2, topic:199470"]
that's cute :)

[/quote]

what happened between 2001 and 2006? :D


#13

if thats the worst thing Walter has ever done in his marriage, I’ll take him :slight_smile:


#14

[quote="2Chronicles, post:13, topic:199470"]
if thats the worst thing Walter has ever done in his marriage, I'll take him :)

[/quote]

Not me. Gold Medal? Never! I always use King Arthur. ;)


#15

I have to agree with you there, Revert_Jen. I’m kinda picky about my flour!


#16

What on earth is Gold Metal?


#17

well we may be being unfair here, I want to give DH his due, he went out to buy the new dishwasher, I told him not to go without me because I wanted to make sure he did not mess up on the color since all our appliances are bisque, as is the countertop tile. But he talked to the salesmen, who understood perfectly, they both agreed on biscuit. But at least it matches.


#18

[quote="puzzleannie, post:17, topic:199470"]
well we may be being unfair here, I want to give DH his due, he went out to buy the new dishwasher, I told him not to go without me because I wanted to make sure he did not mess up on the color since all our appliances are bisque, as is the countertop tile. But he talked to the salesmen, who understood perfectly, they both agreed on biscuit. But at least it matches.

[/quote]

:rotfl:

Either we're married to the same guy or my DH has been moonlighting as an appliance salesman!


#19

[quote="Imryl, post:16, topic:199470"]
What on earth is Gold Metal?

[/quote]

It is a brand of flour in the US.


#20

[quote="2Chronicles, post:12, topic:199470"]
what happened between 2001 and 2006? :D

[/quote]

not much :D


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