Clothing for Step-daughter issue


#1

I was at the store with my stepdaughter today, and I realized that, though she is 9 years old, she will most likely be needing to get clothes from the junior’s section by next year. She’s very tall, but is still shaped like a little girl.
Big issue is, how in the world do I find jeans for her, in her size, that are NOT hip huggers. It’s hard enough now, when even in the little girls’ section of Walmart, ALL of the jeans are hip huggers. (I know for a fact that 9 year olds do NOT have hips–and I won’t even allow her to wear them when she does get hips). Any advice on how to keep her age-appropriate, and modest, when she’s almost as tall as I am? She’s a very active girl (I picture varsity basketball in her future), so wearing skirts and dresses all the time will not work for her. It’s so hard to find non-Lolita clothing for girls these days…


#2

Yes, it is unfortunate that numerous chain stores, or clothing stores sell numerous
young girls attire that makes them look too provocative.
Even when searching for girls clothing in the 4-8 years sizing, one finds tight, low
cut tops, see-thru nylon nightgowns,mini skirts that are cut to ride low, etc. Whoah!
Well, when my daughter was your step-daughter’s age, and I wanted to find "Classic"
styles that offered modesty that were also very lovely and well made, I had to go
to the retail stores that are considered to be quite expensive and fashionable.
But, I shopped for many of her clothes during the big “FALL” sale and other times of
the year when a below the knee, French Velvet dress, with full lace collar, normally
priced at $149 (for a girl of about 9-10 years, and tall), would be on sale for a very
low price. I bought high-end clothing for her a year or two before they fit!:wink: Classic styles that never seem to go out of style. But, for teens, that is a real challenge now I suppose.
These day’s I cannot even imagine the difficulty in finding modest, yet lovely clothing
that holds up, for a girl.
Some of the clothes we see in stores for kids looks like stuff a Rock Star would strut around in. I told my husband in jest, that I thought a lot of these clothes for girls are
designed by pedophiles. Oops…:shrug:
All the very best to you with these fashion challenges for girls!


#3

What about getting a bigger size of hip huggers than she needs? Then they will be loose and look more modest.


#4

I definitely agree with you on the inappropriateness of many of girl’s fashions. I am not sure I understand your problem specifically with hip huggers though… imo they are the most comfortable style of pants besides a nice tailored trouser. How are hip huggers any less modest than any other pants style when in the appropriate size and paired with an appropriate shirt? It is possible to have a comfortable pair of hip huggers paired with a nice top that hits below the belt line, which covers you from neck to ankles and can be as loose fitting as makes you comfortable. Have you talked to your step daughter at all about what she wants to wear, how she feels about today’s styles, and what her friends are wearing? She probably wants clothes that are very similar to what you have in mind, that are modest and becoming, yet stylish. It might be more work, but there are modest outfits out there if you look. Good luck!


#5

I second the notion that hip huggers are really comfortable. I shop at Debs because they have hip-hugger flares that are just out of this world. What you want to be careful for is the low-rise that was in and out of fashion a few years ago. I often need to adjust the waste by taking it in so it fits me nicely but they are SO comfortable. As long as they aren’t too tight then let her wear them.

(I’m one of those freaks who wishes spandex stuck around for those thin enough to really enjoy it)


#6

Perhaps you may need to look at a catalog that sell more classic style clothes such as L.L.Bean or Land’s End. A few years ago, you were able to get some of their things in Sears, but I am not sure if you still can. However, they have all kinds of cuts and fits when it comes to pants and jeans. Land’s End has a kids catalog too. Might be worth looking into. I warn you now that it will probably cost more than WalMart, but you will at least find clothes that fit the way you want.


#7

Any chance of receiving some good hand-me-downs? Older cousins and/or siblings usually have a variety of clothes worth sharing. :slight_smile: Also, if the jeans are really low-cut, there’s nothing an extra-long shirt can’t fix. :wink:


#8

*My dd who is 13 wears hip huggers, but a tee shirt worn over the waist section, no bellies showing! She doesn’t want her belly to show, and it hasn’t been an issue because of lot of preteen/teen girl tee shirts are designed to be pretty long these days. I would suggest JC Penney or Aeropostale (a store at the mall) or American Eagle (another one at the mall) as they have non hip hugger styles, and they are reasonbly priced…$29 …for a pair…or buy one, get one free they had going on a week ago.

That’s my suggestion. My daughter has no problem finding non-Lolita clothing. She wears tees, jeans and hoodies…we shop at the mall and Target for these things…really, there are PLENTY of clothes out there for girls who want to be modest. Check for sales, this is what we do…I like to buy the kids quality clothing that will last, but I usually go to the mall for their stuff, when there are good sales. Retailers are hurting right now, you can probably find some great deals at the stores I named. (Hollister is a higher end store, but when they have a sale, it’s great…good quality, mainly modest clothing) :thumbsup: Good luck!*


#9

I was going to say the same:thumbsup:. Lower riding jeans also come in relaxed fit and boot cut styles and there isn’t a thing any more immodest about them than any other jean. Wear the appropriate tops and there shouldn’t be a problem.

My nearly 12 yr old just went off to school in some jeans from Target, they sit at what I’d call her ‘true’ waist, not overly high or low, has a belt on and a tank with a shirt over that. Nothing shows, noting is too tight. She’s also a tall girl and we were able to find Jr’s size 9/11 tall jeans and pants at Wal Mart and Target.

Sometimes how they look on the hanger or on display are misleading. Best to not discount any particular style of clothing until you try it ON. You might be surprised how it looks on your DD vs. a mannequin or on the hanger.

If the jeans are low, the shirt has to be long enough to cover so when you bend nothing shows. Good thing tunic tops are in style and on sale everywhere. If the shirt neckline is too low, grab a tank top for underneath, also on sale in abundance right now (I think 2 bucks at Wal mart). Skirts with leggings underneath are very in now too. There is a lot to choose from and plenty of ways to be creatively modest.:thumbsup:
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#10

*I need to check Target for jeans…thanks shanny!

I will say though, I do find myself telling my dd a lot…PULL YOUR PANTS UP…the bottoms dragging on the floor. Mommy, that’s the style, she says. :rolleyes: :hypno:

Jeans getting dirty dragging on the ground, is the style? :ehh:

:rotfl: I feel old. *


#11

Prayers that you and birth mom are on the same page as far as clothing choices for the dear girl!


#12

While you can find clothes that are “in style” at places like Target and WalMart, they aren’t always the best fitting. I’ve been pleased with purchasing tops and dresses at those places, but pants have never worked out. I agree with the suggestions about going to the mall. You will still find stylish clothes - including hiphuggers and such, but the fit is less… raunchy… than WalMart. Try JCPenney, Aeropostale, American Eagle, Limited (is that still around?), and my favorite is GAP!
Good luck!


#13

Depends on the body type I think. I’ve never had a problem with ‘raunchiness’ of fit at Wal Mart or Target. In fact some of the jeans are downright grandma.:shrug: This is why trying things on is key.:thumbsup: Old navy has different styles of jeans with different cuts and fits too, worth checking out.


#14

There is absolutely nothing wrong with hip-huggers… they are comfy and can be modest. What makes them immodest is when you bend over and can see a thong /gag. Long shirts are popular right now… she would be covered up.

I was the same way as your step-daughter… tall for my age at 9 years old… and i was pretty darn skinny! Total tom-boy, into sports etc. I actually wore boy’s jeans for a while because that’s what I was comfortable in! (hehe, so silly).


#15

It can be difficult to find clothes that are reasonably nice looking, modest, and affordable. I will say though that the super low-rise pants are not as in style now. Pants or jeans labelled ‘hip-huggers’ may not be as low as you expect. But, I do think you are wise to be concerned even at 9. It is too easy to think “oh she’s just a little girl, it’s ok” and then suddenly find yourself with a 13 yo who only has lolita clothes! LOL

My daughter wore a lot of leggings still at that age (with the tunic-y tops), but now I can find nice pants for her at Target and department stores. Sales are great these days, so the prices aren’t too crazy and I find the clothes hold up better.

Of course a great source is other like-minded families with girls a bit older! LOL Girls are so much easier on clothes than boys usually. Even if you can get some dresses or tops as hand-me-downs, that will free up budget dollars for well-fitting pants.


#16

The OP’s remark that SD (step daughter) “is still shaped like a little girl” has me thinking that the usual junior sizes might not fit quite right.

I guess that depends on where within the slender to stocky range she fits. Some “little” girls grow tall first and others grow “wide” first. Sometimes women’s sizes fit tall stocky girls best but many young girls would rather die than wear something with an even size as opposed to an odd size. That’s why places like WalMart and Target don’t always work because they seem to assume juniors are tall and skinny. Finding a size that fits the waist and thighs of stocky girls means the waist will be big enough for two. Boy sizes sometimes fit these girls better.

If SD is thin then junior size jeans with longer tops (Boy am I glad they have come back in style and so is my long waisted 19 year old) should work just fine.


#17

Good point - I think my comment is more based on my own body type fitting in those clothes… you’re right about trying on no matter what! :thumbsup:


#18

I guess that depends on where within the slender to stocky range she fits. Some “little” girls grow tall first and others grow “wide” first. Sometimes women’s sizes fit tall stocky girls best but many young girls would rather die than wear something with an even size as opposed to an odd size. That’s why places like WalMart and Target don’t always work because they seem to assume juniors are tall and skinny. Finding a size that fits the waist and thighs of stocky girls means the waist will be big enough for two. Boy sizes sometimes fit these girls better.

If SD is thin then junior size jeans with longer tops (Boy am I glad they have come back in style and so is my long waisted 19 year old) should work just fine.

Oh that is so true. I have found the battle of “I don’t want to wear a size 6!” simply because it’s women’s and not Jr’s:rolleyes: The jr’s sizes are often painfully small and slim fitting which can be good or bad depending on your shape. My DD is very curvy but and it just seems to depend on the individual garment whether or not it’s going to work for her. We try on a LOT before we find keepers. FWIW I have actually had great luck with Wal Mart (though I’m not a huge fan…). They have Tall’s Petite’s and pluses in most of their; Jr pants and jeans now which makes life just that much nicer. Target is not as good with having the out of the norm sizes but we’ve done Ok with tops there. I’m just grateful because there is no way I can get to a mall. I think Limited and Gap have those sizes as well and I know Old Navy online has a wider variety of sizes than the stores.

Gosh I hate shopping:p[/FONT]


#19

My 16yoDD cannot find jeans to fit her – very slim, and the jeans that are low waisted (‘high-waisted’ means where the waist really is!!) always gape open when she bends, sits, etc, and of course all those long tops all ride up and show waist before too long. I hate the trouble of finding pants that fit comfortably w/o the sleaze effect – too tight, too gaping, to loose to stay up, embellishments to draw attention to the crotch or butt. I have trouble dressing all 4 of my girls aged 4, 7, 13, and 16. I finally had a pair of perfectly fitted jeans passed on to my tall 4yoDD, but it has “LOVE” on the butt and dangles on the crotch! I hate the pedophile-ness of the styles!!!


#20

Thank you for all your responses. I’ve found a lot of styles that will work on her from L.L Bean, and Cabela’s. She is a tall girl, not particularly skinny, but not “stocky” either. Just sort of in between. So the junior’s section will not work at all–except for t-shirts and sweaters. The pants are the issue. But hip huggers only are modest if she wears a shirt that is a size or two bigger than her size. If we buy the pants and the shirts in her current size–then we have the plumber effect. Yuck. However, the idea of getting her a shirt bigger than her normal size–an idea that some of you have brought up–is a good idea.
As for birth mom being on the same page–no way. I’ve put in prayer requests here on the forum because she has a personality disorder that causes her to seek out conflict, and if she doesn’t have any conflict, cause it, so she can have it. So, her latest thing is to have the little girl watch Gray’s Anatomy–which has a lot of sexual content. Also, she talked to her when she was six years old (and continues to talk about it) about “the Pill,” and about “taking the Pill when I’m a teenager so I don’t have to have babies.” :banghead: Bio-mom continues to have her multiple boyfriends spend the night–with the full witness of the little girl. Lots of tumultuous relationships, lots of screaming fights in front of her. Not the best environment. Yeah, we need all the prayers we can get. Dad and I are the only ones trying to protect her from this stuff. At least we have full physical custody.
Well, I guess I went off topic here. As for SD’s preferences, most of the time she prefers modesty. She doesn’t like her “chest showing,” she’s said. She doesn’t like short skirts–unless she’s wearing pants under them! But occasionally, she sees something that her friends wear at school, and says (like many kids do) “I want that outfit. If it’s so wrong to wear that, why is SHE allowed to?” That’s always a hard question to answer, because you don’t want to disparage someone else’s parents. I usually say “well, dear, it’s about respecting your body. You cover up certain parts because you value yourself.” Ugh…raising kids is tough.
Thanks again, everyone. I’m going to look into all of your suggestions and references.


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