Co-habiting Church Friends


What do you do if two friends from church decide to live together ? They are engaged, but of course, that’s not any justification…

What if they move – help them ? What if they have a housewarming party – attend ? Difficult questions for me…


I had a situation like this a year ago. My friends got engaged and bought an appartment, had a housewarming party and I was :confused: about whether I should go or not.
I decided to go, because they knew how the Church feels about doing that and still decided to do it, so why should I judge? I think that the punishment came itself - a month ago they got married and felt nothing new and exciting in their marriage, since they had been living together for 11 months.


Thanks for the response.

I am quite close to a Franciscan Friar, who helped me prepare my pad when my girlfriend came to visit (long distance…family was dead against it…long story). I questioned him about that years later, but I don’t think I ever got a straight answer. I guess he was praying for me, but I wonder if he helped me to emphasize love and acceptance, or if he is a liberal (!!).

I know one thing – if he told me it was wrong, to not do it, etc., I would have done so anyway, but then probably would have felt bad seeing him again – at least for quite a long time…


neither, express your disappointment privately, once, don’t bring up the topic again, and when asked to aid and abet, say, I love you, I wish I could help you, but we both know what is wrong about this situation, and I could not call myself your friend if I helped to in it. Note, this is the approach for friends or relatives who share at least in name your faith and values.


Perhaps this is a pretty common experience. Just another day: ‘wake up, honey, we’ve got to get to the church for our wedding.’


Years ago there was a cartoon in the New Yorker of a couple waking in the morning - he is unshaven. She is saying: “Wake up you mutt. We’re getting married today.” :smiley:

It was funny in those days - sad now.


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