Cohabitation has risen 1200%


#1

My spouse and I prepare couples for marriage and these statistics rattle me so much but young people think that it is ok. I don’t get it. :confused: inside.growthtrac.com/inside/2007/08/cohabitation-po.html

And it is the worst thing you can do if you want a life-long marriage. Why are people doing it then? Just boggles my mind. More reasons to pray.


#2

It looks like a good article print out and have handy when the situation calls for it. It might be a good one to leave laying around town in various waiting rooms.


#3

As for the idea that cohabitation is a good way to “test” someone out before marrying them, I’ve seen first hand what a joke that is. I personally know a couple that did this. But it wasn’t until AFTER the wedding that one of them let their true colors come out. So much for that plan…:rolleyes:


#4

People do it because they don’t know better. I cohabitated. I wasn’t fully practicing at the time and I was ignoring certain teachings obviously.

My godmother told me it was wrong by the time we had been living together for 5 months and were engaged. I thought it was ridiculous to go back and move out somewhere else as it was financially imprudent.

Now I realise we should have just gotten married when we wanted to move in together. DUH.

There is societal pressure to move in together. It IS becoming the norm in the secular world… and nobody seems to think it is so wrong.


#5

What was scandalous a couple of generations ago is now the norm. Sad. —KCT


#6

The woman at a local parish whom I know administers the FOCCUS test to engaged couples preparing for marriage at her parish. She is a certified Social Worker. She was recently approached by a couple (both Catholic) who wanted to take the test so they would know their compatibility prior to co-habiting!!! :eek: She was totally floored by their request. She did NOT administer the test and instead counseled them on why co-habitation is wrong in many ways, and sent them to speak with the priest about their plans as well.

Just when you think you have heard it all… :rolleyes:

~Liza


#7

This is all just my opinion of course, but it makes sense to me. :smiley:

Most people honestly don’t know this. The idea that a “trial marriage” leads to increasing numbers of people getting divorced is fairly counterintuitive from a secular standpoint, and many people think that living together prior to marriage will help them “weed out” people to whom marriage wouldn’t be “ideal.” They honestly believe that if you try it out first, it will help you to avoid a messy divorce later. Most people want a successful marriage.

We didn’t start seeing the skyrocketing trend in premarital cohabitation across demographic groups until divorce really started taking off in the 1970s due to no-fault divorce laws, and hit its first peak in the early 1980s. The first large generation of kids to lose families to divorce turned to cohabitation as a “logical” way of preventing the same thing from happening to them in the future.

It’s so sad. We’ve got to convince people that premarital cohabitation is dangerous to a successful marriage. Social scientists have known this for a very long time, but the media and the public aren’t receptive to this kind of information because it’s so hard to take (since most people have done this very thing in order to “help” them have a better chance at marriage).


#8

I wanted to clarify: Divorce hit its very first recorded peak in the US just after WWII, but its first peak after the advent of No-Fault Divorce laws around 1981 (which was a lot more substantial than the post-war rise we saw earlier in the century). It was after divorce became legally sanctioned that rates of premarital cohabitation shot up.

Sorry about all that. :o It was probably more than anyone wanted to know. I think I just accidentally killed your thread, Bruno. :blush:


#9

And what can I say to friends who cohabit? Particularly ones who are Christian lite or atheist/agnostic :confused:

Sad statistic. :frowning:


#10

Sadly, this is my brother and his (as of a couple weeks ago) fiancée. They’re already sleeping together (in the literal sense and probably the figurative sense), and plan to move in together soon (the wedding is about 2 years away, for some reason). If I try to say anything, I am met with replies to the effect of, “Thanks, Dad, but it’s our life.” I’m praying for them; please do the same.

Sam, the Neon Orange Knight


#11

We live in an age were parents tell their sons and daughters not to marry but to live together.
Marriage is too serious.

My daughter is 17 and has been dating (being courted) for the past year and a half.

The young man has been helpful around the house and has spent some quality time with all (7) of us.

He told his family about wanting to marry. They expressed their concern by saying to wait until your in your 20s.

My daughter spends alot of time with him and is listening to everything we say about waiting. But it is getting hard for them both to be apart.

They turn 18 this January and May. They will both be finished with High School and have their AA degree.

They are old enough to go to war but not marry? I have been with my husband since we were 14 and 16. It has been 20 years.

I shared this with my husband.

1 Corinthians 7
Marriage
1Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry. 2But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. 3The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. 5Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6I say this as a concession, not as a command. 7I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.
8Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. 9But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

He thought I had made it up:p

Anyway daughter’s boyfriend bought a ring today!
He has told his mother and now we wait for him to tell his father then we told him he could approach us.

My daughter is a wreck.

My husband is waiting to give his blessing.

He told the boyfriend “I want a pig” inside joke from the movie “Holes”


#12

Have your daughter explore the website foryourmarriage.org/

The more both of them learn and study about marriage, the better odds they have. Marriage is more than just feelings. And young people have strong ones.

also growthtrac.com is another great website for them.
christianitytoday.com/marriage


#13

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