Cohabitation


#1

i am seeking counsel, I would talk to my parish priest but there isn’t one at the moment due to retirement so visiting priest have been doing mass and confession,So I find my self in a difficult situation .I have returned to the church after years of being away first Agnosticism then occultism then exploring Lutherism for about 6 months before finally returning to the faith,I’ve been back since a week after Easter, Most of my life i have led a life of sin, I have a son born out of wedlock which is what brought me to missouri, At the time my son was living with my parents when i moved down here I moved in with them. ,Then the mother of my child sent him to texas due to her facing prison time and fear of me getting custody,Upon moving to missouri last year. I attempted returning to the church the first time which ended due to major opposition from my parents namely my father who is a wiccan pagan .So i allowed my self to fall back away from the church and back into occultism for a short time, Until july when I had a lung collapse which afterwords led me to a lutheran church which I attended for 6 months taking classes until I realized that I didn’t agree with the theology ,and the pastors view on our blessed mother ,My parents moved out of the area And I moved in with roommates a mixed group of atheist and new age pagans and protestants who constantly ridiculed me for coming back to the Church. At one occasion my life was even threatend by the neo pagan roommate in a drunken rage, though this constant attack from all fronts I kept on getting deeper and deeper into the faith and trying to learn more and more ,Small attacks which occured to often to be chance went on .things such as prayer cards being knocked off the wall when i wasn’t home or the suspicion that i have that the two bottles of lourdes water being replaced with tap water out of spite things of this nature happening .duing this time I also had a friend next door who is a self identified witch who due to my past tryed invoving me in her “practices” a few times,… I Apologize for how long this Email is but there is alot of depth leading up to my current situation .well now getting to the point and matter at hand .A few weeks ago I started dating someone first person who has even taken the slightest intrest in my faith. Well here is where my problem is and that is that I have moved in with her. Cohabitation is the issue pretty much as soon as I started dating her the first time i visited her the roommates put a plan into action to kick me out. Leaving me with little choice on a place to go. And at the same time the person I am with also feels safer with me living here due to things that have happened to her in the past which she suffers from PTSD from, I have fallen into sin this is not a confession so I will not go into about any of that, but at the same time she has made it clear that she would be perfectly fine with us not having sex because of what she had happen to her in the past which is the cause of her PTSD and is very support of my faith and intersted in it. To the point that she has even attened mass with me a few times .She has given me permission to talk about her past in this email to you .She was the victim of a rape that’s why she is fine with out having sex because of what has happened to her. She is also ok with us sleeping in seperate rooms due my faith .even though as i have said I’ve fallen into sin a few times and that hasn’t been the case .I really want our relationship to grow along side our faith. We wore for the first week of me living here sleeping in differnt rooms and reading together "We Belive a survey of the catholic Faith "which is the book I’m using for catholic home study due to the fact that RCIA classes don’t start til september which she is more intersted in taking also .I also started teaching her to pray the rosery which is something new to her …all this stoped last week when I fell into sin and gave into temptation and since then I have been stuggling with alot of things even questioning my self and my faith. She has noticed something has been troubling me for the past few days and i talked to her about it. And I and her have agreed that we can go back to growing our relationship along with our faith together. This is all new for me which is why I’m writing this email to you I know its rather long and drawn out but I needed to seek counsel . I know i need to go to confession for the sins i have commited which i plan on doing. Her main consern is how far affection can go, such as cuddling or kissing and the such which I’m also confused about that subject some what also. And any advice you can give us to help us build this relationship centered around growing stronger in faith together would be very much appreciated even though Cohabition is not a ideal situation which we both understand but also understand that it in its self is not a sin. But the giving in to temptation is or at lest from my understanding


#2

You should not move in with someone who you met a couple of weeks ago. Even if you are going to sleep in separate bedrooms.

It seems that you are at a tough point in your life. You should speak with a Priest (seek one from a neighboring church since your parish doesn’t have a permanent one) or Catholic spiritual director for guidance. Since you are new to your faith I think it is important to get some help from experts. I will pray for you!


#3

Marcel28,

The Lord is the hound of heaven calling you to himself!

It is good if you would make an appointment with a priest of your choice to tell him everything you have told us here.

It is not a good idea to live in the same apartment with a woman; I believe you know that.

There are coffee shops to meet and talk at.


When you write a message please make paragraphs so that it will be easier on the eyes to read.


May our Lord Jesus Christ lead you on the spiritual journey.

May His Blessed Mother intercede for you.

Peace,

Dorothy


#4

Yes, this.


#5

It’s interesting you have so much background when the question is so simple. Are you doing the holy virtuous thing? Nope? Then don’t do it.


#6

While your cohabitation situation is less than ideal, it is so much better than living with your previous roommates. And it seems like you want to do the right thing and are trying to do the right thing but are in the near occasion of sin. I suggest that you go together to speak with a priest as soon as possible. I think that with some help you could build a new life for yourself. Peace be with you.


#7

Or the op could just live by himself or have nice roommates.


#8

Any priest will tell you to move out. You are kidding yourself if you think you can cohabitate with the lady and not fall into sin; you have already done it. She sounds like a nice a girl and a good person; you should be protecting her from sin, not tempting her into it by living with her. Of course moving back in with your former roommates is out of the question, but living together with your new girlfriend is not going to solve your problems, or hers, you need to change living arrangements as soon as possible. Keep up your Catholic studies and RCIA plans, the Holy Spirit has led you both to the Church at the same time and He will lead you down the right the path.


#9

I honestly have no where else to go. Any other parish near me is over 20 miles away
Have no way there hardly know anybody in this town ,have no car,am currently unemployed
This town is rather isolated ,my family is over 200 miles away and are not
Open to the idea of me moving in with them unless I was in danger and even then
Thy would be reluctent at the idea just how they are
My relationship with my parents is and has always been a rocky road
Only meeting my mother 3 years ago when she moved in with my father
my father and me have never been close
I was raised by my grandparents who would reject the idea of me moving there
Agian due to my past .for past few years i have attempted to better my self
But my mistakes still haunt me, none of my friends would be open to the idea of me living with them and are at odds with my faith…just as none of my family share my faith
.only one who ever was involved in the faith was my uncle who at one time was
Thinking about becoming a priest but has since left the chuch
Years ago when i was a child. I was confirmed at 8 years old
And when he left i was 10 so that’s when I was lead away. That same uncle is now a aithest and recently came out as a homosexual …I honestly feel so alone in all of this .


#10

Marcel28,

Prayers for a solution to your dilemma.

Peace in Jesus and Mary,

Dorothy


#11

In western civilization there are only two ways one is forced to have a living situation with anyone else. 1 is jail. The other is a mental institution.

  1. What would you do if she didn’t exist or “love” you. Where would you stay?
  2. With no car or job, what exactly are you contributing to this living situation?
  3. What are your plans for employment?

#12

In spite of your many hardships, you take responsibility for your sins and you acknowledge your behavior as contributing to your situation. Your desire to improve your life by becoming a better person has lead you to the Catholic faith and to this forum for counsel.

It is evident that you have the resources and the will to reach out for help. What you really need is help from a priest. Use the Internet to identify the three parishes that are closest to where you live. Call them one by one on the phone or email them - just like you did this forum - until you find a priest or a deacon who responds to your need. You can do this. Some people on this forum think that they know what a priest will say to you. They don’t really know with any certainty. You will only find out what guidance a priest will give to you by talking to the priest yourself. I will pray that you find the guidance that you need, and I ask that you pray that I find the guidance that I need.


#13

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