Coitis Interuptis with NFP


#1

Not to be too graphic here, but…

My wife and I are trying our best to follow church teaching. We practice NFP and obstain during fertile times right now for spacing and finacial reasons.

Even during the safe times, my wife does not like for me to remain in her until completion. She says that she (here goes) does not want the stuff coming out over a period of time.

The technical question is…does one have to deposit the entire amount or is “some” enough? Say I start to release inside and then stop and release the rest outside…good, bad, indifferent?


#2

I’d say she needs to get used to it. Menstruation is far worse that a few milliliters of seminal fluid. If she can deal with blood, you’d think she can deal with that… I don’t mean to come across as rude or anything, but I’m having a hard time imagining someone being that grossed out by perfectly normal bodily functions that don’t even smell, to my knowledge. Many women I know put on panty liners to catch cervical mucus, which is very similar to seminal fluid, from what I’ve heard. Perhaps she could do that same after you complete the marital embrace. It just doesn’t seem right to pull out because your wife isn’t used to seminal fluid… But I don’t know for sure.
Sorry if that wasn’t much help, I’m just kind of shocked.


#3

Another option is to take a bath afterwards… sitting in a tub can help “clean out” anything that would naturally take longer…


#4

Ahh, if you don’t put it in her where are you putting it? On her pillow? Thats more disgusting.


#5

I thought that for church teaching you weren’t supposed to “deposit your seed” outside of the woman. Does that mean that you’re having sex, but not completing the act inside of her if she doesn’t like seminal fluid? I find that washing out afterwards cuts down on the drainage the next day.


#6

Not to be graphic, but guess we’ve crossed that bridge…:wink:

We use NFP too (Creighton), and this topic is addressed to some extent, mostly to allow the woman to take proper observations the next morning. During “clean-up”, does she “bear down” to umm, squeeze the seminal fluid out? If not, she can try that.


#7

Buy your wife a pack of pantliner sanitary pads. :wink:


#8

Yep, she should be getting rid of it anyway to do good observations. That said, I’ve still not quite gotten the hang of it so I wear a panty liner the next day. :blush:


#9

She should be urinating after the sex act is complete to prevent UTIs. I do this, and when I do it seems to come out then. Sorry if this is graphic!


#10

I’m going to try and be nice here :smiley: … but sometimes I want to pass over posts like this because people often ask things, but really do not want the answer. Sometimes they even KNOW the answer but they really are trying to gather answers that justify their actions. Kind of have a group rally around them and then they can say it is OK. Well it is not OK.

So with that being said, coitis interuptis is sinful and should not be practiced. Period. There is no exception. .

It may be time to speak to your parish priest. Pray to Our Blessed Mother first and ask her to guide your priest to give you the best advice.


#11

**Semen ‘makes women happy’

** Women exposed to their partner’s semen during sex may find themselves feeling happier than those who use a condom, say scientists. Scientists in the US believe the mood-altering hormones in semen absorbed through the vagina help to boost women’s mood.
Semen contains a range of hormones, including testosterone and oestrogen, both of which have been shown to improve mood.

more…


#12

As others have said, there are a few ways to deal with this if it is a problem. Simply having a box of tissues on your nightstand can be a help.


#13

To re-inforce what 2 other posters advised, my wife both does kegel exercises (“bears down”) and urinates. The woman who taught my wife and I NFP recommended bearing down afterwards for hygienic reasons.


#14

!!! hygienic reasons? Is this implying that semen is unhygienic?
Expelling semen purposely, to make observation easier>>>sort of smacks of not so much trusting God, but “yeah, well, we completed the act right, but now we are going to whisk away these er…troublesome…residues.”

That “residue” is what makes babies.

Calling it unhygienic and hurrying to rid oneself of it…not very NATURAL.


#15

It’s already "done its job."
And there’s an issue of it leaking out over an extended period of time…:blush:


#16

I don’t know about the hygiene aspects, but I do know that semen is deposited right next to the cervix; if the woman is fertile, she’ll be producing fertile cervical mucus, which is very similar to seminal fluid. By the time she stands up, sperm have swum into the cervical mucus, and are making their way upwards. Seminal fluid starts to drain out as soon as she stands, it’s in inevitable. Bearing down might make it come out faster, but by then, plenty of sperm have made it upwards, and won’t come out. It would be a very ineffective way to prevent pregnancy. Not to mention, the initial emissions from the man, that create a pH-friendly environment in the urethra for the later ejaculation, contain sperm. So it’s perfectly alright to help it drain out afterwards. You aren’t inhibiting the life aspect of the act at all.


#17

I think she means hygienic as in “leaking throughout the day” and being messy. Which it is.

And there is no problem with bearing down and wiping oneself afterwards - what’s inside is inside - the rest of it left behind in the vagina isn’t going to suddenly get inside - it’s gonna leak out. May as well get rid of it right away, if one wishes. How does one talk about this tactfully? :blush:

And yes, it’s a good idea to urinate afterwards to avoid UTIs.


#18

What are you, the sex police?

Anyways, in Christopher West’s book, there is an explanation where if you need your semen examined by a medical professional, the husband and wife have to have sex with a condom that has holes in it. They can then bring the remaining semen to the lab. ( the point being some of the semen had to be put into the vagina. )

Wouldn’t this be the same thing except there is no examination?


#19

Better bone up on your biology, it doesn’t “do it’s job” instantaneously. People trying to get pregnant are often instructed to lay with hips elevated to help the sperm reach their objective.

yes, I know about leaking, but this isn’t an issue of convenience…or at least I thought it wasn’t according to the church. Removal of the semen because it’s a “bother” doesn’t strike me as being totally giving. " I love you honey, but yuk, residue, how unhygenic, let me hurry to the bathroom to pee, bear down and rid myself of your gift of self and life…"

how loving is that?


#20

People who may having difficulty conceiving may be encouraged to elevate their hips, but I do believe that MANY a conception has taken place outside of this posture. And, to correct you if I may, cheddarsox, once a man ejaculates inside his wife during a fertile window and his semen co-mingles with her fluids- there is possible impending fertilization. This occurs as close to instantaneous as you can get. The fertile mucus during that time has a special consistency that forms little “channels” or “grooves” that help guide the sperm on their journey. And a woman who does not particularly enjoy the sensation of post-coital fluids has every right to clean herself up without being branded as “un-loving”.


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