Cold feet about my conversion


#1

Should I talk to my Director and maybe step back and take a “breather” …anyone else ever felt overwhelmed? Do I need to step back and access what I truly believe…love any feedback…


#2

You must always disclose everything to your Director, otherwise you are lying to him and squandering the grace of spiritual direction, which Jesus won for you by His death on the Cross.


#3

My Director is a Sister, a “her” actually. To be honest, I feel like your answer was framed to make me feel guilty, this is not an easy thing.


#4

Cold feet?

I picture a person standing on the side of a pool (lap pool and 80 degrees, not too cold, but certainly no hot tub).

Does this person walk in slowly down the steps, or perhaps stick one toe in to test the water before diving in or does the person just plunge right in dropping in deep and being enveloped?

I think you will be the best judge of what speed is best for you. I personally plunge right in dropping to the bottom and slowly ascend before starting my laps. Gets it over with faster, but again you will best know what you need.

No need to take a step back though. Especially if you ask Jesus to help you.

May God bless you and keep you.


#5

It is really always best to be honest with your spiritual director. I feel a bit overwhelmed, and rather unsure too, of a challenge my director put to me last session…and certainly I will be talking with him about this challenge next session. I feel uncomfortable about the challenge, whether I actually should tackle it or whether I should not. And I will be discussing this with him.

Certainly if spiritual direction was starting to “weigh me down”, be stressful unduly, then I would be talking about it with my director - even seeking another. Directors are not infallible, one can only hope and pray that they will be suitable in every way. I would not however, personally, abandon a director without discussing it all with him or her and it is very important to the whole spiritual direction/director process that one can be very open and honest with one’s director.

…and very certainly pray daily for your director and for your relationship with him/her and ask The Holy Spirit to enter into the whole process of direction that you will indeed be guided in the footsteps of Jesus to the glory of The Father.

I am a bit mystified as to what you mean in your thread title by “conversion”, while respecting absolutely that it may be quite personal. I am unsure if you mean that you are a new Catholic, considering it, or perhaps are simply coming home to The Church after an absence…or whether you may mean something else perhaps. Not that it would change I dont think my Post insofar as the relationship between spiritual director/directee is concerned.

God’s blessings on your current dilemma and may it resolve soon…Barb:)


#6

** To be honest, I feel like your answer was framed to make me feel guilty, this is not an easy thing.**

**I can’t tell from your question exactly what you’re asking.

Can you rephrase it?**


#7

I had the same thing before I was received into the Church this past Easter. Many of us converts have unrealistic standards of what we believe will be laid upon us at our conversion. It sometimes helps to look up from the Catechism and take a look at the other Catholic people around you. Do you believe you could be at least vaguely faithful to the promises you make at your Confirmation? Even if you don’t think you can (and none of us can in our own strength) do you at least want to?

Your Director, as well as leading you into the faith, wants to lead you into freedom. If you’d genuinely be more free outside the Church, you need to take that decision, though I’d honestly say it’s a wrong decision. Some people need the freedom to drift for a while, maybe even the freedom, like the prodigal son, to hit rock bottom before realising what you need. That’s not a path I’d advise though.

The truth is, the Holy Spirit really has given me graces to overcome my sins. That doesn’t mean I don’t still struggle at times, am struggling now, but it’s worth it. The question you have to ask is, will you be more likely to become the person God wants you to be with the seal of the Holy Spirit and the prayers of the Church, or will you be more likely to get there quicker on your own without the Church’s help. Let me give you a little hint, it’s not the second answer :wink:

Talk it over with your spiritual director, but don’t let it get the better of you.

Come on in, the water’s fine!


#8

This may help. from St josemaria Escriva-
Furrow > Cheerfulness > Number 98 98 You made up your mind after reflection, rather than with any burning enthusiasm. Although you would have very much liked to feel it, there was no room for sentiment: you gave yourself to God when you were convinced that that is what He wanted.

And, since then, you have felt no serious doubts; rather you experience a calm and peaceful joy, which sometimes overflows. It is thus that God rewards the daring feats of Love.

and Furrow > The Struggle > Number 133 133 After the initial enthusiasm, there began the doubts, hesitations and fears. You are worried about your studies, your family, your financial situation, and, above all, the thought that you are not up to it, that perhaps you are of no use, that you lack experience in life.

I will give you a sure means of overcoming such fears — temptations coming from the devil or from your lack of generosity! Despise them: remove those recollections from your memory. The Master already preached this unequivocally twenty centuries ago: “Don’t look back…”

and
The Way > Cheerfulness > Number 659 659 The cheerfulness you should have is not the kind we might call physiological good spirits — the happiness of a healthy animal. You must seek something more: the supernatural happiness that comes from the abandonment of everything and the abandonment of yourself into the loving arms of our Father-God.


#9

It’s okay. I know what you mean. I’m often up and down about whether I’ve just made the best decision of my life…or something else. I hear from everyone that this is totally normal.

Have you checked out EWTN’s “Journey Home” series? It’s about folks who have converted to Catholicism and the struggles they went though. The EWTN site had mp3s you can listen to if you (like me) can’t get the tv channel. It’s really uplifting when you feel bogged down and uninspired or scared.

Also, have you any close Catholic friends? I have three close ones and whenever my head starts to spin with it all, they are wonderful to talk to. One friend in particular is great directing me to more information if there’s a theological point I just can’t wrap my head around. And my sponor is also a wellspring of support.

Please feel free to PM me if I can help in any way. I’m brand new at this too, but maybe I can help somehow?

Take care,
*Stella


#10

Yes, Glorfindel, I remember those moments of doubt, fear and misgivings. God brought some of them with me into a Sacrament called Confession that I made two weeks after my Baptism. I was floating on air the whole way home! Oh what a consolation! God had His peace with my poor soul while we walked home together. It was awesome! And I remembered to pray for the poor soul of the priest who helped Him wait to get to know my poor soul a little better in that Sacrament.

Peace,

Gail


#11

I’m guessing you’re talking about your RCIA director and not a spiritual director. They’re quite different.

Why not talk with your RCIA director or your pastor and see what they have to say? They know you and your situation better than we do.

But I don’t think that feeling overwhelmed is necessarily a bad thing. Part of RCIA is about developing your relationship with God and it sounds like that’s what’s happening. And God is absolutely overwhelming! Your conversion is taking place because the Holy Spirit has led you to this point and how wonderful is that! But at the same time, how overwhelming is it to know that God loves you that much!


#12

Wow! :eek: No pressure being apply here. :wink: The OP should be glad this guy isn’t his spiritual director. :smiley:


#13

LOL! That was what I was thinking. But thank all of you who responded, I think I have worked through it, and it help to know others have been here, a doubt is not always bad, it is just how we handle it I guess.


#14

No, I dont think doubts are necessarily negative or bad, and that it does depend on how we handle them. I am glad that you are seeing some daylight anyway and hope your doubts will all be fully resolved soon. The Lord’s Peace to you and yours…Barb:)


#15

As you get closer to Him, the threat felt by the evil one increases, so how you feel may be due to that. There may also be something(s) which are “sticking in your craw” (thing(s) you don’t understand and seem wrong to you). Two things I would do since you aren’t able to avail yourself of the Sacraments, yet. 1) Frequent the Blessed Sacrament in Adoration - if you don’t feel comfortable yet about doing that, pray to Him that you don’t commit any sacrilege in doing this - many converts, even those on “Journey Home” have done this in regards to the Blessed Sacrament, the Rosary, praying “to” the Saints (essentially, asking holy people to pray to Our Lord, for you), 2) ask Mary, His mother to pray for your protection from evil influences or any natural doubts you may have about the Church.


#16

I can agree with brigid12 where Satan waits on us then attacks when we’re most weak. I remember that vividly - but God, and our BVM Mary saw me through :slight_smile: I remember that vividly too :slight_smile:

Take the time to Pray. Before you go to sleep - or whenever, I usually Pray the best when I’m relaxed and it’s quiet - bring your fears and feelings to God. Tell Him everything. Seriously - that’s what He wants from us - to be His Children. He will put your soul at rest, and lighten your Spirit - and reassure you that everything will be just fine. :slight_smile:

This is the beginning of a beautiful relationship with the Creator, and everyone else in His Church. Take advantage of that reality now and always.

Welcome to the Family! :thumbsup:

Peace

John


#17

You are in my prayers!


#18

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