Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God have mercy on me.
For the last 5 years I’ve been drawn to the Catholic Church. This week I started RCIA. We had to fill out a form and I’m so afraid I wont be able to become Catholic because of my past.
I’ve been married before, twice. The first marriage was in 1969. We were young and married for the wrong reasons. I married because I was so lonely and wanted to be with someone. She married to get away from her parents. Neither of us had ever been on a date. We knew each other only two weeks before we ran off and were married by a probate judge. We were both virgins and we really tried to make our marrage work. But after 13 years it became almost impossibe. Her parents interfered and we were both very unhappy. We separated. Her parents talked her into filing for a divorce.
Months later I met a young woman and eventually we were married. What I didn’t know was she was secretly seeing an old boyfriend off and on. We had two sons together and she had a daughter by a previous marriage. I suppose she really didn’t want to be a mother or wife. One day she left to be with her old boyfriend. She left the children with me. Our oldest son was in the second grade and the youngest was in the first. Her daughter, my stepdaughter, also stayed with us. After 4 or 5 years I finally filed for a divorce.
I never dated after that and never had a relationship with a woman. My second wife had 4 sisters and they were very supportive. We are still friends now. This was many years ago. My oldest son is now 26 years old and he was seven when she left.
I hurt so bad. I want to become Catholic but I’m not sure if I can. I am not in good health. I don’t know how much time I have left. I’ll begin dialysis soon.
Please pray for me.
I know I’ll need to deal with these two divorces. I’m afraid