I am requesting that this thread be closed.
You did all you can do. Priests are busy people. Yes, the Confession is valid, and you are in a state of grace. Be at peace.
Given your posting history, as well as the fact that you talk about this in terms of “fearful, anxious thoughts,” you seem to be scrupulous. You need to avoid posting here about these issues and seek the help of a confessor and a mental health professional.
This. Does. Not. Exist!
What does not exist?
Clearly, these do exist. What are you saying?
I’m really thinking about just giving up, and requesting that my account be shut down, no one seems to get that I don’t have these resources! I’m so sick of this! I need this to stop! All I want is a simple answer, just leave me alone!
Why don’t you have these resources? That’s perhaps the best question here. Why isn’t a regular confessor and a mental health professional something available to you? Are they really not available, or are you not seeking them out?
I gave you a simple answer, the only answer that is truly appropriate in these cases. If someone is struggling with scrupulosity, which is a compulsive behavior, then the thing to do is NOT to feed the compulsions by continuing to give answers to the questions, as that won’t make things better. The compulsions will return dressed up in a different way and about a different subject and question. The only answer that works here is to get off of the forum and to get help in real life, as that’s the only thing that works. Asking questions on the forum accomplishes two rather hurtful ends:
It only continues to feed the need for validation that drives the compulsions, particularly if contradictory answers are provided
It stunts the formation of conscience, so that instead of actually learning to reason through moral and spiritual situations and matters of interiority on your own, you become dependent upon others to provide that for you all the time.
If you really want to get better, then you should stop depending upon the forum and seek help in real life to help you heal from the underlying issues present here. I am a priest, and I deal with these sorts of things all the time. I have seen what works and what doesn’t, and what won’t work is to continue to seek validation from these forums.
You are in my prayers.
If you need help finding some appropriate resources in your area, feel free to PM me and I can assist you that way.
There’s therapists that are willing to do Skype therapy. My therapist and I meet for online therapy since the city where the OCD clinic I go to is located about two hours away from me. I’m sure you can find a professional this way. Most work on a sliding scale too, if cost is a concern since therapy for scruples and OCD can be a bit expensive on it own. As for finding a regular confessor, I can see how that one can be a little harder to find, but if all you have is scruples and not another form of obsession, I’m sure that any priest would be able to help. I wish you the best of luck!