Completely Overwhelmed


#1

I am completely overwhelmed with my life. I work 28 hours a week at a very very dead end job have 3 children under 4 and have been married for 7 years. I am also completely my masters degree online. I feel like I am not a 100% at being a mom or 100% at working towards a good career. I am responsible for everything in regard to the children and the house in addition to my other job and school. I have asked for help from my husband but its sparatic at best.I feel like my education and the money I paid for it has been an absolute waste because even it I could get a good job, I don't have the support at home to take something like that on nor am I comepletely confident that I want to. I wonder if this job I have is making me feel this way but I am fearful of quiting because of the economy. We could make it on one income but I hate to walk away from a job and not be able to get another if we really needed it. I feel so much guilt. Guilt that I am not satisfied. I know how lucky I am to have healthy children and a home but I feel so unchallenged and that college was a waste. I miss having a sense of accomplishment and I feel guilty that for some reason I have to find that in a career. I feel guilty for working even 28 hours because I come home tired and I am devoted to my children from the time I come home until they go to bed. I feel like I am trying to do both the work of a SAHM and a working mom at the same time. I just want to overcome the feeling wanting a meaningful job outside of the home and I have tried but I can't. I just feel completely lost of who I am suppose to be. I have been on so many interviews that have failed or I have had to reject offers because of things at home. DOn't get me wrong, I love my kids and sometimes I wish I could stay home with them full time but then sometimes I really wish I could get a job and use my education. THen I feel guilty for feeling that way. Does this ever get easier or better? I am 26 and have been married for 7 years. I love my family and I am very thankful they are healthy but I have no idea who I am suppose to be anymore. My kids are the most important thing to me, I just want to do the best thing for everyone and make these feelings go away.


#2

you have 3 full time jobs:
parent to small kids and home maker (which is sometimes 2 fultime jobs OPPOSED to each other!)
grad student
employee.

even the most miraculous saints could at best, as far as i know, BI-locate. TRI-location is a verrrry tall order.

you have 3 full time jobs. pick 2 (of course one is as parent) and skip the guilt. the guilt is draining energy you need to invest elsewhere.


#3

[quote="monicatholic, post:2, topic:249076"]
you have 3 full time jobs:
parent to small kids and home maker (which is sometimes 2 fultime jobs OPPOSED to each other!)
grad student
employee.

even the most miraculous saints could at best, as far as i know, BI-locate. TRI-location is a verrrry tall order.

you have 3 full time jobs. pick 2 (of course one is as parent) and skip the guilt. the guilt is draining energy you need to invest elsewhere.

[/quote]

THIS.


#4

You are overwhelmed because you are trying to be superwoman. A counselor would very likely be able to help you put things into their proper perspective. The necessary comes first. That would be home, husband, and children. After that would come your personal necessities. Is a job really a necessity? It's draining you of strength and time needed to enjoy your home, husband, and children. Determine how much free time you actually have, without a sense of rushing your day. That will tell you if you should pursue another activity, such as a job outside the home. Good luck and God bless.


#5

As a counselor (yup, got some letters after my name), I often ask my clients, "What are you doing for me-time?" This is not selfish. When the oxygen masks drop in planes, parents get them first. If you pass out, the kid has no chance.

Get some respite. Then, as these wise folks said, prioritize. You have a full plate and I don't know how you do it! I did grad school and that was a rough year, and all my kids were in school and I didn't have an outside job!!! :eek:

Blessings for you. PM me anytime!!!

:hug1:

Cara


#6

What does your husband's week look like? What is his attitude about your frustrations?


#7

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