I had a complication with my vocation to the priesthood wednesday. I have been going through the application process to be a seminarian and am comfortable going into the seminary to explore my vocation to possibly be a priest but I had a complication a 2 days ago.
I play in a pool league at a bar wednesday nights and there is a waitress there I had felt an attraction to (for more than just looks) but I never stared a relationship with her other than just friends because of my vocation and felt she wouldn't be interested anyway. However, 2 days ago she actually started flirting with me and showed signs of attraction to me even to the point of physical contact (hand flat on my back). I don't think she was doing it for tips either because I had already paid and given a tip and the things she was doing and saying to me she was not doing to anyone else and in the past couple years that I had been going to that bar she had never done these things to me. Now I cant help but to feel attracted to her and now that she was actually hitting on me the temptation to start a relationship with her is pretty strong. Now normally if I ever had a complication with my vocation or trouble or temptation I would turn to the Bible and find answers in the scripture. However, although I understand why the church wants priests to make the promise to celibacy the Bible's stance is that priests and bishops can have a wife so the scripture would almost encourage my challenge to start a relationship with her. I feel a calling and would like to be a priest but I feel a strong attraction to this girl and quite frankly I feel that priests should be able to get married so they can have a partner to support them and share their journey with and they shouldn't deny love. I have a strong desire to serve God but this celibacy is a rule enforced by man not scripture or God. This also brings back the debate I had with myself if I wanted to be a priest or deacon. I have been praying a great deal on this issue and this is not going to stop me from going to the seminary to explore my calling to serve God but this has still caused me a great deal of distress and am conflicted for those who are in a religious order or priest and had a situation similar to mine how did you overcome this temptation? What was it that eased you mind and heart.