Thanks. This was very kind of you.
I’m somewhat bothered by her stance of “I’m glad my mother was forced to give birth to me.”
Don’t get me wrong, it’s good she’s alive, it just comes across like she’s unable to understand why her mother, in an obvious state of mental and emotional torment, would have considered abortion.
Trent Horn, who is an absolutely awesome apologist (gotta love alliteration) working for Catholic Answers has talked about exactly this subject and explains the rational (and moral) logic behind our Pro-Life stance especially in the case of rape better than anybody I’ve ever heard. Need to see if we can’t find that show on Catholic Answers Live where he was the guest and include a link here in this thread.
Posted in the comments in response to the usual excuse for abortion due to rape. Could not let the comments about zygots etc stand unanswered.
What’s your response to people who say that pro-lifers are “anti-woman” for not wanting to make it legal for women who got pregnant from rape to have abortions?
Studies have shown that women who have an abortion undergo the same psychological effects of women who have been raped. In many cases, having an abortion after a rape makes the matter even worse. Murdering the baby doesn’t erase the fact that the rape happened. On top of that, over 50% of the people who die in an abortion are women, so how on earth could anyone consider it “pro-woman”? Having an abortion has also been linked to increased risks for breast cancer. So how on earth is a woman having a right to choose to murder her baby, put her own life at risk, cause mental, psychological and emotional damage and increase her risk for breast cancer pro-woman?
One thing I would be worried about if I were pregnant after rape would be what if the child inherits the father’s personality and is cruel to others, despite my best efforts?
I am sure most parents can readily testify to the divergent personalities their kids exhibit.
I doubt the personality has as much to do with the parent as it does the parenting.
Just over 8 years ago, I learned that my conception was not voluntary and that my birth mother had tried to abort me. The news brought me to my knees then God stepped into my life to heal me.
I was adopted as an infant. Until I had children of my own, it never bothered me that my birth mother gave me away. In 2004, I was reeling from being discarded by my wife and because my parents had refused to speak with me for years. My father had sent me a letter saying he wished the nuns had given them a different baby. So I had my adoption records unsealed and decided to begin a relationship with my birth mother. She was living in Los Angeles. We had actually lived in the same neighborhood for almost a year when I lived in LA in the mid-1980’s. She was deaf. I sent a letter in April of 2005 but got no answer so I flew there a couple weeks later only to learn that she died weeks before I arrived at her doorstep.
One of her friends told me I had an older sister who’d also been placed for adoption. She said that my conception came about because my mother was raped. She went to an illegal abortionist, but the abortion failed and she hemorrhaged. In the ER, the police gave her a choice: she could either give birth to me in the county jail then go to prison - or give up the name of the abortionist, go to a home for unwed mothers and then leave the state after her baby was born. She chose the latter. That night I got very sick from alcohol poisoning and was rushed to the hospital. Drinking was the only way I knew to cope with heartbreak. I’d gone hoping for a joyful reunion only to find she’d tried to kill me and had only given birth because she was forced to do it. That was the final and crushing rejection. The self-hatred I’d always felt was now cast in stone.
Just recently a friend who is a sometimes spiritual director and I were discussing this. (He’s a therapist who also trained as a rabbi. He encourages me in my Catholicism.) After telling him this story, he shook his head and said that I’m “a keen observer but a poor interpreter”. He asked “Why did she try to abort you?” I said "because she hated me. So he bore down on me asking the same question each time louder and with greater intensity “Why did she try to abort you?” I’d answer “Because I’m sh*t”, “because I didn’t deserve to be born.” “because I’m no good”, “because no one loves me”, “because I was conceived in violence and hatred and should not have been born.” He kept repeating this question until I was sobbing and on the verge of hysterics.
He paused. Then he said, almost at a whisper, “THINK AND USE YOUR HEART. You’re not stupid. Put yourself in her place. What happened was not about who or what you are. Stop lying to yourself and tell the truth. WHY did she try to abort you?” Through my tears I answered in the voice of a hurt child: “Because she was young. Because she was raped. Because she was hurt and alone and afraid. Because she didn’t want them to take me away from her like they did with my older sister. Because she was deaf and couldn’t raise a hearing child.” He smiled and said that I was finally telling myself the truth and that it wasn’t about me at all. Suddenly there was a bittersweet serenity and acceptance. After 53 years, I was at peace.
The self-hatred has begun to ebb. He told me to see how many times and in how many ways God had loved me enough to bring me into this world, to preserve my life, to raise me in a faith-filled home, to give me children of my own to love, and health and intelligence and the grace of faith and a wounded heart that loves much. Here he repeated “a wounded heart that loves much - just like your beautiful Jesus”. (This was a tremendously loving and humble statement for a devout Jew to make.)
God is good. I was broken and could not love or be loved. I asked God to fix me. First he taught me to love him. Then he taught me to love others. Now he is teaching me to love and forgive myself.
That’s so sad Thanks for sharing it with us though :console:
I don’t know, I think some people are born prone to evil dispositions. I suppose that’s possible for anyone’s child though, not just a rapist’s.