This is my first post here, and I'm posting to better understand my boyfriend.
I am not Catholic, but my boyfriend is. We met at work (we work in a hotel on a tiny island in the Caribbean). We immediately hit it off and within two weeks of being introduced to one another he asked me to move in with him. It was the most spontaneous thing either of us have ever done. My reasonably conservative parents who happen to live in the same area as us love him and have never once questioned our choice. We have been successfully living together for over a year and a half now.
In the first month of living together we did have sex, and I was not his first. It was never very intimate, nor was it often (maybe once every two weeks) and I assumed this was because we had just begun being with each other. Over the next 3 months it very quickly dropped off, to where by our 4th month living together, I had to request for it to occur even once a month.
Six months into our relationship he went to visit his parents. He is not from my country and his parents are very conservative Catholics. He went home to visit them and admitted to his father we were living together. His father told him that it was wrong and that my boyfriend needed to think about the choice. Upon his return, my boyfriend stated we would no longer be making love, and completely shut down.
For the last year we have been living together, while we sleep in the same bed, we have not seen each other naked, we change in different rooms, we cuddle but he doesnt even kiss me. We discuss marriage and he says he wants to marry me, but he also says he doesn't see himself getting married until he's 30, which is still 3 years away.
I have begun to feel very lonely, and I'm worried. I understand his decided he wants to follow his faith, but I am very concerned about the lack of intimacy. I don't understand how he can't want to kiss me passionately, and it bothers me that there has been no passion in the relationship at all since the very first month, even before he went home to visit his parents.
When I bring up my concern Re: passion, he insists being a Catholic prevents him from having feelings of desire or intimacy until we're married. Because it was never there in that very first month, I'm concerned its not a pre-marriage issue, but something that he doesn't even understand is missing from the relationship.
I love him incredibly, but I am scared to wait 3 more years to get married only to discover I'm married to a man completely uninterested in making love, uninterested in making out with me and just generally uninterested in any physical relationship.
Is this typical for a Catholic male of his age...to be completely unaware of passion and able to so EASILY avoid physical contact with me, or is he someone who will never be able to be intimate with me?
Sorry for the long post, but I don't know any Catholics, and I'm so sad over the issue that I often lay awake, wondering if the life we are leading now is how it will always be. I feel like we're already 70!