Condems in a Catholic Marriage


My wife and I are both Catholic. We both understand the churches teachings on birth control and condems. We have not used any birth control for some time, but we have used condems. I tried so hard to use the “my consience says I should use them” excuse for some time. We are below the poverty line and already have one daughter. I thought by telling myself that “we cannot afford to raise another child properly” I could get away with it, but before long I started feeling “guilty” everytime we used them. Recently, I told my wife that I just could not use condems anymore. i probably did not pick the right time and setting to start this conversation with her, but I just couldn’t do it anymore. We both believe that intamacy between spouses is important to a heathly marriage, but this is starting to tear us apart. She says we cannot have a sexual relationship without the use of condems (for multiple reasons). I tell her that is fine. As hard as it is for me, I think that I can “do without” until we resolve this issue, but she says that this might end our marriage. I don’t know what to do at this point. Any advice would be greatly appriciated.


Many couples face your same challenge its a by product of society. I think your morals are maybe alligning themselves with your faith. I know that for me it did too, not so much for dh who at this point is looking into getting fixed despite my feelings and objections. I thought we had this area covered as far as how we both felt and lo and behold that has not been the case. We are expecting our 5th. :wink:
I think when you have a contracepting mentality alot of the running motive is fear,:eek: , and when you live in fear you cannot see things rationally. To have more children is viewd as a burden on lifestyles and inconviniences to the finance situations.
Honestly all I can suggest is Dr. Janet Smith Contraception why not. She gives the best, to the point talk on how and why birth control, wether it be hormonal or barrier methods is not the best answer for a married couple trying to postpone children.
I have heard it many times as my husband has too. I fear he has allowed himself to be scared of the future and what God has in store for us. But all I can do is counter that with prayer and love.


What you need to do is go to your local Priest and say “My wife and I would like to learn Natural Family Planning, can you please give us the name and number of a local teacher”

Natural Family Planning (NFP) is a highly effective method at preventing births, and it is in accordance with Chruch teachings.

It does work.

So go learn NFP.

and God Bless you for listening to your conscious, that is the voice of the Holy Spirit speaking to you.


Follow the link below to find an NFP instructor in your area.


Condoms are birth control.

The conscience must be properly formed. Which mean, in conformity with church teaching. The church teaches all contraception is wrong-- this includes condoms.

You two need to learn natural family planning.


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