[quote="ChiRho, post:9, topic:241871"]
I understand what you're saying. I haven't personally ever had this fear, but I think I know how you can get over it.
Consider that everything you do in life involves some risk. You can lose your job, lose your house due to foreclosure, become sick or get injured. You can have deaths in the family, deaths of pets, and losses of friendships. With every single one of these things, there is a good and a bad. A job, a house, health, family, pets and friendships are all good things, but you can lose them all. In an instant.
So, what are your options? You can reject your family, never have a pet, try to have bad health and not pursue friendships because you are so scared of losing all these things. Or you could realize that some things are worth the risk.
This is similar to how you risk yourself when you are with your spouse. You are emotionally and physically intimate with them, vulnerable as you are when you have a great job or a family you enjoy being with (except moreso). The spouse could turn against you and hurt you. The greatest things in life are worth hurting for,
If you want to be consistent, you should either be scared of all the good things I listed above (jobs, health, friendship etc) because you can lose them all. Or, you could realize that all things involve some risk, but we willingly accept the risk of losing these things for the joy they typically bring. The joy should be all the more magnified because marriage is a sacrament, even though the risks are sometimes scary.
This is very good advice. If you want to be happy, you must learn to trust God as Job did: "the Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord" (Job 1:21). If you marry, be thankful for every good moment with your spouce. If, God fobid, he cheats, offer your emotionaly pain, and any physical suffering that may or may not come as a result, to Christ as a participation in His Passion for the sake of the salvation of others. In this, we take joy in suffering: that through our pain, offered freely for the sake of the Cross, the whole Body of Christ is strengthened and built up. But, even if that horrific pain and trouble should come upon you, take joy in the good things you still have! Take joy in your kids! Take joy in the Sacraments! But most of all, take joy in the fact that your faith is being tested!
Listen to the exhortation of our first Holy Father, Pope Peter, the Rock upon whom the Church is founded: "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! By his great mercy we have been born anew to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and to an inheritance which is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God’s power are guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you rejoice, though now for a little while you may have to suffer various trials, so that the genuineness of your faith, more precious than gold which though perishable is tested by fire, may redound to praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. Without having seen Him you love Him; though you do not now see Him you believe in Him and rejoice with unutterable and exalted joy. As the outcome of your faith you obtain the salvation of your souls" (I Peter 1:2-9).
Many Saints have told us that the secret to holiness is humility in absolutely every situation, a humility that says,
"Lord God, giver of every good thing,
I freely and joyfully accept Your Divine Will in every situation.
I submit myself willingly to everything,
good and bad, easy and burdensome,
that You lay before me. Amen."
Remember: "Every good endowment and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of Lights with Whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. Of His own will He brought us forth by the Word of Truth that we should be a kind of first fruits of His creatures" (James 1:17-18). Perhaps it would help to meditate on the above verses and to pray that prayer every day, in addition to asking the Saints to intercede for you that you might be granted the gifts of humility and peace.