Condoms and suffering of diabetes type 1


#1

I have a very personal question.
My wife and i are convince that in normal circumstances catholics and christians must not use contraceptions or birthcontrol, the problem is that we have a medical problem in our life.
Myself i have diabetes (type 1) and sinds the last years i have suffered much of it, and i have been in a coma for 2 times already, and suffers many times from a hypo (that my sugar is to low or to high). My wife is very concerned about me and foreaxample she wakes me up every night (03.00) to see how my diabetes is at that moment.
By Gods grace we have received two wonderful children, but we are using birth control (not pills, because of it’s possiblity for abortions, but are using condoms), not because of financials matters or thinking that two enough, (because we see a big familay as blessing of God!), because of my wife whom is very worried about with all the tension that is giong on with me and she even afraid for being pregnant right now and that at night she is than not able to help me if a have hypo (low sugar) and need medical care.
Does this still goes against the teachings of the Roman Catholic Church, because i read before that the church is against the use of condoms.
Any help or thoughts might be helpfull.


#2

Unless its used as a PPD, I do not ever see moral justification in useing a condom in a marriage from the Church. You could certainly try NFP of course.

Bless you and I hope you get better.


#3

Diabetes T1 is perfectly managable. Do you have some kind of co-morbility that is excaberating it? How are you dealing with it? Do you have some kind of plan of treatment,, or are you just "winging it"?

The reason I ask, is it doesnt' look like a valid reason, usually spacing of births or prevention of pregnancy with NFP is for the health benefit of the mother.

But as the other posted mentioned, look into NFP and I hope you feel better soon.


#4

[quote="Clairvaux, post:1, topic:195128"]
I have a very personal question.
My wife and i are convince that in normal circumstances catholics and christians must not use contraceptions or birthcontrol, the problem is that we have a medical problem in our life.
Myself i have diabetes (type 1) and sinds the last years i have suffered much of it, and i have been in a coma for 2 times already, and suffers many times from a hypo (that my sugar is to low or to high). My wife is very concerned about me and foreaxample she wakes me up every night (03.00) to see how my diabetes is at that moment.
By Gods grace we have received two wonderful children, but we are using birth control (not pills, because of it's possiblity for abortions, but are using condoms), not because of financials matters or thinking that two enough, (because we see a big familay as blessing of God!), because of my wife whom is very worried about with all the tension that is giong on with me and she even afraid for being pregnant right now and that at night she is than not able to help me if a have hypo (low sugar) and need medical care.
Does this still goes against the teachings of the Roman Catholic Church, because i read before that the church is against the use of condoms.
Any help or thoughts might be helpfull.

[/quote]

Yes, it does go against church teaching. We consider any use of contraception to be immoral and unacceptable during the marital act. You may use Natural Family Planning to space out or hold off any births for serious reasons which you certainly seem to have.

God Bless you with wisdom in this matter as well as the peace which passeth understanding. Be Not Afraid.


#5

[quote="vera_dicere, post:3, topic:195128"]
Diabetes T1 is perfectly managable. Do you have some kind of co-morbility that is excaberating it? How are you dealing with it? Do you have some kind of plan of treatment,, or are you just "winging it"?

The reason I ask, is it doesnt' look like a valid reason, usually spacing of births or prevention of pregnancy with NFP is for the health benefit of the mother.

But as the other posted mentioned, look into NFP and I hope you feel better soon.

[/quote]

No, not exactly true. NFP may be used if the couple determines that any of the resources considered important for the family are lacking. An unstable diabetic father is one of them. This could change of course if he becomes stable.


#6

Contraception is immoral in all circumstances. The Church taeches contraception is **intrinsically **disordered-- meaning the action itself, not based on circumstances.

In a situation in which there is a serious reason to avoid children for a time or indefinitely, a couple may use natural family planning which is based on periodic abstinence.

I suggest you look at the methods of natural family planning available for morally spacing/avoiding children:

Google NFP, specifically Creighton Model NFP, Sympto-Thermal Model, Billings Ovulation Model, or Marquette Model NFP. Contact your local Catholic parish or the office of Family Life at the diocese for local places you can take a class in NFP.


#7

www.woomb.org
boma-usa.org/
provide information about the Billings method of Natural Family Planning which is an ethical and reliable form of family planning. You can get help from an nfp teacher online or in your local area through these web sites.


#8

Natural family planning, used strictly, is much more effective than condoms.

Any act which directly and deliberately deprives the marital act of its procreative meaning is intrinsically evil and always gravely immoral. Married couples may not use contraception, not in any circumstances, not for any purpose (intention).

natural-family-planning.info/


#9

I think you are correct, even unto the death of the Mother, but a C section is allowed so monitoring a difficult pregnancy is ok. NFP is also wrong if used to selfishly. Most Western Families really do not have a justifiable reason to even use NFP. I hear a lot of people citing the need to space Children due to finances, unless they truly cannot afford to raise another child this is not a valid excuse.

God Bless You.


#10

It is a valid excuse at the discretion of the couple involved. We really shouldn’t be getting involved in that. A married couple is responsible for determining what consitites a hardship, and in consultation with a priest.So while I understand where you’re coming from, it is unfair to say that finances are not a justifyable reason.

Not everyone, depending on where they live, and what their circmstances are, can afford to have more children. Not to mention the fact that not everyone can tolerate the emotional and psychological demands of caring for multiple children. That’s why humane vitae said that spacing out childrent should be done with your conscience and without coersion.


#11

[quote="Rence, post:10, topic:195128"]
It is a valid excuse at the discretion of the couple involved. We really shouldn't be getting involved in that. A married couple is responsible for determining what constitutes a hardship, and in consultation with a priest.So while I understand where you're coming from, it is unfair to say that finances are not a justifiable reason.

[/quote]

No I think it could be a valid excuse, but pretty hard in the US. A little less COMCAST, or X-BOX could bring another soul.....

[quote="Rence, post:10, topic:195128"]
Not everyone, depending on where they live, and what their circumstances are, can afford to have more children. Not to mention the fact that not everyone can tolerate the emotional and psychological demands of caring for multiple children. That's why humane vitae said that spacing out children should be done with your conscience and without coercion.

[/quote]

Yes...with an end of the spacing in mind. Not spacing two years and then never.......You are right about the conscience of the person making that determination, but our Priest are supposed to help us form a Catholic Conscience in accordance with Church teaching, and in all honestly I have not heard our Priests talk to contraception, to Abortion yes...... Humanae Vitea actually said spacing for none selfish reasons.... It could honestly happen, but that is a big stretch in modern America with 3,000 square foot home and a family of 4.

Like you hinted at though I do not know what is in someones heart it is just that it seems to me that NFP is being advertised as Birth Control and it was not intended to replace the pill in a marriage indefinitely, just for a period of time, but I don't see it being taught that way in most parishes. Do you?

That being said we are asked to live in Charity, which I will I. I certainly have enough of my own sins to worry about, but I wish the Church would teach a little better as it would help to reinforce my teachin of my Children at home. They get enough of the Contraception and safe sex stuff at school.

God Bless You.... Please Pray for Me.....


#12

Having raised six children in a house with 2000 sq feet, and with a reasonably good income, I can attest to the fact that more than income and space enters into the equation. Not everyone is cut out to raising even three children or maybe even less and I don't mean because they are selfish, but for educational, psychological or other problems some are just not capable of handling it and the children suffer. If NFP can save the day, I say well it is their decision to make and no one else's.


#13

Upon reading the glossary section in my New American Bible I discovered that using condoms along with any other artificial birth control is a mortal sin. Ouch! Knowledge is killing me. So does that mean one must confess to this sin each and every time is is committed prior to receiving the Eucharist? This is obviously my own question. Understandably, NFP is the answer. But the hubby really isn’t on board. Is this now his sin? :confused:


#14

[quote="katherinezc, post:13, topic:195128"]
Upon reading the glossary section in my New American Bible I discovered that using condoms along with any other artificial birth control is a mortal sin. Ouch! Knowledge is killing me. So does that mean one must confess to this sin each and every time is is committed prior to receiving the Eucharist? This is obviously my own question. Understandably, NFP is the answer. But the hubby really isn't on board. Is this now his sin? :confused:

[/quote]

Yes, if you use contraception it must be confessed before receiving. Give this document a read as to how to proceed.

vatican.va/roman_curia/pontifical_councils/family/documents/rc_pc_family_doc_12021997_vademecum_en.html


#15

[quote="katherinezc, post:13, topic:195128"]
Upon reading the glossary section in my New American Bible I discovered that using condoms along with any other artificial birth control is a mortal sin. Ouch! Knowledge is killing me. So does that mean one must confess to this sin each and every time is is committed prior to receiving the Eucharist? This is obviously my own question. Understandably, NFP is the answer. But the hubby really isn't on board. Is this now his sin? :confused:

[/quote]

That's right - unless you did not consent to it or have knowledge that it was a sin, in which case it would not be mortal sin, but still grave matter. I don't think it is knowledge that it is grave sin, but simply knowledge that it is sin.

As for confessing, you are correct. Please note that if you simply accept the use of condoms and plan ahead of time to go to confession later, that is another grave sin - presumption.

To be honest, I do not know if you are culpable with regard to this issue. I recommend that you get in touch with a good priest or an apologist and find out.


#16

[quote="katherinezc, post:13, topic:195128"]
Upon reading the glossary section in my New American Bible I discovered that using condoms along with any other artificial birth control is a mortal sin. Ouch! Knowledge is killing me. So does that mean one must confess to this sin each and every time is is committed prior to receiving the Eucharist? This is obviously my own question. Understandably, NFP is the answer. But the hubby really isn't on board. Is this now his sin? :confused:

[/quote]

Its not a mortal sin, but a grave act in a marriage sexual event. One should always seek confession though.


#17

[quote="rwoehmke, post:12, topic:195128"]
Having raised six children in a house with 2000 sq feet, and with a reasonably good income, I can attest to the fact that more than income and space enters into the equation. Not everyone is cut out to raising even three children or maybe even less and I don't mean because they are selfish, but for educational, psychological or other problems some are just not capable of handling it and the children suffer. If NFP can save the day, I say well it is their decision to make and no one else's.

[/quote]

As I stated in a post above I put (That being said we are asked to live in Charity, which I will I. I certainly have enough of my own sins to worry about, but I wish the Church would teach a little better as it would help to reinforce my teaching of my Children at home. They get enough of the Contraception and safe sex stuff at school.)

The reason I think it is important is because I have NEVER heard the following information from a Priest and so I think that some members of our Church are not having their consciences formed by our Priests in accordance with the Magisterium.
I think it is wrong to live in ignorance, but maybe some prefer it that way. It would be easier. Maybe that is why ignorance is bliss, since like other things today we won't be responsible for our choices?

Humanae Vitae in article 10

"With regard to physical, economic, psychological and social conditions, responsible parenthood is exercised by those who prudently and generously decide to have more children, and by those who, for serious reasons and with due respect to moral precep, decide not to have additional children for either a certain or an indefinite period of time.

Responsible parenthood, as we use the term here, has one further essential aspect of paramount importance. It concerns the objective moral order which was established by God, and of which a right conscience is the true interpreter. In a word, the exercise of responsible parenthood requires that husband and wife, keeping a right order of priorities, recognize their own duties toward God, themselves, their families and human society.

From this it follows that they are not free to act as they choose in the service of transmitting life,* as if it were holly up to them to decide what is the right course to follow.* On the contrary, they are bound to ensure that what they do corresponds to the will of God the Creator. The very nature of marriage and its use makes His will clear, while the constant teaching of the Church spells it out. (10)"

As a convert this was a very significant document for me and my cradle Cathholic wife. And although my wife and I were "Done" with children (21,17,12) we have prayerfully studied this document and decided that although it would be tough at our age, but still physically possible for my wife to conceive, we are following through with the teachings of the Church. We are economically able to afford another child, and although the age difference would be significant we would welcome another child as a miracle as my wife is near the end of her ability to bear children.

This would definitely change some plans, but if we are going to be Roman Catholics, then we need to be Roman Catholics. Being a smorgasborge Catholic, picking and choosiing what is right and wrong, I might as well have stayed a Lutheran since in the end a picker and chooser is really protesting a the teaching of the church they do not want to follow. Honestly after reading Dr. Janet Smith's Article, titled something like "Humanae Vitea 30 year later" I was sold. Pope Paul VI hit a Home Run on his radical and hated predictions of what Contraception would bring to our country.

Anyway I agree that the choice of the sin needs to be left up to the husband and wife, but they need to have their consciences formed so that they understand VERY clearly that being uncharitable with the transmission of life is a sin. If then they can look in the mirror and honestly say they can't have any more then I agree 100% with you that they are not committing any kind of sin in practicing NFP, but if they could have another then at least they will understand the choices they have made and can seek reconcilliation after they stop practicing NFP. To practice NFP in a state of sin would be yet another sin or presumption.

I hope I have not bored you..... if you agree or not you will at least understand the direction and lenses by which I am looking at this thread.

God Bless You......Please Pray for Me.

God Bless You...


#18

Advice on Natural Family Planning is available in other languages if English is not your first language. I would also encourage you to seek further help to stabilise your medical condition.
The important thing to realise is that there is no way to avoid the Cross. If you use NFP to avoid pregnancy, then you have to embrace the Cross of not being able to be as intimate as you would like to be. If you choose to have intercourse at a time when pregnancy is possible and a child results, then you have to embrace the Cross of the trials of pregnancy, birth and raising the child. Even those who try to avoid the Cross by choosing condoms, Pills, IUDS or other contraceptives suffer the physical, psychological and spiritual consequences.
Some of the advantages of using NFP to avoid pregnancy when that is necessary are that

  • you improve communication between the spouses because you have to talk to each other and relate in non-sexual ways;
  • desire and regard for the spouse can be increased;
  • the possibility of the child comes up frequently for discussion;
  • when circumstances change, conception can more quickly occur as fertility has not been damaged and the couple is aware of ovulation;
  • divorce is less likely to occur;
  • monetary cost is minimal;
  • awareness of bodily changes helps a woman identify what is normal and abnormal, so disease can be treated quickly;
  • the unitive and procereative meaning of marriage are not separated.
    So, embrace the Cross since you can’t avoid it. This will also help you in embracing the Crosses required to make the lifestyle and dietary changes necessary to help stabilise your diabetes.
    You remain in my prayers.

#19

[quote="Natural_Family, post:18, topic:195128"]
Advice on Natural Family Planning is available in other languages if English is not your first language. I would also encourage you to seek further help to stabilise your medical condition.
The important thing to realise is that there is no way to avoid the Cross. If you use NFP to avoid pregnancy, then you have to embrace the Cross of not being able to be as intimate as you would like to be. If you choose to have intercourse at a time when pregnancy is possible and a child results, then you have to embrace the Cross of the trials of pregnancy, birth and raising the child. Even those who try to avoid the Cross by choosing condoms, Pills, IUDS or other contraceptives suffer the physical, psychological and spiritual consequences.
Some of the advantages of using NFP to avoid pregnancy when that is necessary are that
- you improve communication between the spouses because you have to talk to each other and relate in non-sexual ways;
- desire and regard for the spouse can be increased;
- the possibility of the child comes up frequently for discussion;
- when circumstances change, conception can more quickly occur as fertility has not been damaged and the couple is aware of ovulation;
- divorce is less likely to occur;
- monetary cost is minimal;
- awareness of bodily changes helps a woman identify what is normal and abnormal, so disease can be treated quickly;
- the unitive and procereative meaning of marriage are not separated.
So, embrace the Cross since you can't avoid it. This will also help you in embracing the Crosses required to make the lifestyle and dietary changes necessary to help stabilise your diabetes.
You remain in my prayers.

[/quote]

A beautiful post, thank you and God Bless You.


#20

In order for a sin to be mortal it must be:

Grave/serious matter

Knowledge

Intent

So, you know condom use is grave matter, and you do it of your own will - then meets the conditions for mortal sin.

Your HUSBANDS sin is not your sin.

Unless you tell him to use a condom, buy them for him, put them on his penis, then the sin is his. You are required to make known your objection and to continue to work and pray for his conversion.


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