Confession before communion...bothering me so


#21

[quote="gabz90, post:17, topic:302055"]
You can always do an act of perfect contrition (maybe not your case since youre not repented wholeheartedly), and have communion and then go to confession as soon as you can.

[/quote]

No they cannot. That is completely untrue. To quote Fr. Vincent Serpa, "It is impossible to know that one's contrition is perfect." (from this answer)


#22

[quote="Deo_Gratias42, post:19, topic:302055"]
One can also not go to confession and confess a mortal sin without a firm purpose of amendment to stop committing that sin.

[/quote]

i know. and that is the reason why i do not want to confess that particular sin over and over again. but in time, (when i can prevent myself from doing the act) i will

and with regard people thinking that i did not fast...i very much doubt it. they'd most probably think that i committed adultery. and again, yes, not justified.


#23

Sorry, why is it that you receive Holy Communion, again?

If you are not properly disposed, you should not offend your beloved Bridegroom and disobey Holy Church only because it would be kind of embarassing. Eternal damnation is even more embarassing, since the whole Communion of Saints, with God and the Blessed Virgin, will be watching how you cannot enter the heavenly supper of the Lamb.

I am not trying to be harsh, just putting thins a bit in perspective. To receive communion daily, live as to be worthy of this. Otherwise, it’s better not to.

Trust me, we all struggle with lust. I’ve wished with my whole heart that I did not need to confess. But yes, it is mortal sin, it suffices for eternal damnation, and things won’t get any better if we add sacrilege on top of it.

Age or time of addiction is not important at all. What matters is that we have a radical conversion. This means to acknowledge that it is most gravely hurtful to God to seek sexual pleasure as an end, in a selfish way, precluding the gift of life - which is what lust is. Often lust is rooted on some other sin (Ex. pride, or vanity), so proper spiritual direction is needed to be able to be victorious.

I can promise you one thing: if you humble yourself, stop partaking of Holy Eucharist until the time you are properly disposed, and repent to never sin again (not thinking, as I used to do before sinning, that you can confess tomorrow, because that is tempting God and could have a very unfortunate result), then you will be free from this sin by the grace of God. Because the Almighty never allows a temptation without giving us enough grace to be victorious.

Remember that an Act of Spiritual Communion is always a choice when we cannot communicate. Don’t be embarrassed, just remain seated and pray. Nobody looks at others when communicating - all are (or should be) focused on the Divine Bridegroom.

Please, I advice that you meditate daily on the Blessed Virgin, possibly before an icon (painting, statue). Do this daily, for the only way to develop sheer disgust towards lust is to learn what purity is. And, paraphrasing a quote from a notorious secular movie, nobody can tell you what purity is: you have to see it for yourself. Abandon yourself in the arms of Our Lady, the Blessed Virgin, and you shall resemble her more and more.


#24

[quote="pink8888, post:22, topic:302055"]
i know. and that is the reason why i do not want to confess that particular sin over and over again. but in time, (when i can prevent myself from doing the act) i will

[/quote]

You cannot prevent yourself without sanctifying grace. It is God who can allow you to defeat this vice through His grace. Yet, if you do not partake of the Sacrament of Reconciliation once you have lost sanctifying grace, how will you do this???

I wish you'd confessed to Padre Pio and told him exactly this. He would have made you run away from the confessional and come back in a state of perfect contrition. But since confessors tend to be way too gentle when in fact we need strong discipline, these are the consequences: faithful Catholics who, in sheer disobedience, prefer not to confess and yet partake of the Eucharist, because to do otherwise would "feel bad".

Please, for all that is good, give up self, crucify your ego, and let God's will be done, not yours. Ask your confessor for spiritual direction and subject yourself to his direction by virtue of obedience. Then you will be a step ahead.


#25

[quote="pink8888, post:22, topic:302055"]
i know. and that is the reason why i do not want to confess that particular sin over and over again. but in time, (when i can prevent myself from doing the act) i will

[/quote]

A firm purpose of amendment (which is what is needed for a valid confession) does NOT mean that you think you will never do it again. It only means that you do not WANT to do it again and will try not to do it. And the idea that you will keep doing it and not confessing it until you can "prevent yourself" from doing it is a bit presumptuous. Without going to confession, and without God's help, you will probably not succeed. It's like if you have been in an accident and saying, "I'm not going to try to walk until I can walk without crutches." Unless you use the crutches to begin with, you will never walk.

[quote="pink8888, post:22, topic:302055"]
and with regard people thinking that i did not fast...i very much doubt it. they'd most probably think that i committed adultery. and again, yes, not justified.

[/quote]

It is better not to attend daily Mass than to attend it and make a sacreligious Communion. Of course you have to attend on Sunday, but I think you can't really understand how big a deal it is to recveive the Eucharist in a state of mortal sin, or you wouldn't even consider doing it just because people will talk if you don't. What difference does it make what people think? And frankly, they have no business thinking about it at all. We are not supposed even to speculate in our own minds about other people's refraining from receiving the Eucharist. Or maybe you could find another parish to attend Mass, where people don't know you? Anyway, you just can't receive the Eucharist if you are engaging in behavior that is gravely sinful and not confessing it. It is too damaging to your soul.

--Jen


#26

[quote="R_C, post:23, topic:302055"]
Sorry, why is it that you receive Holy Communion, again?

[/quote]

you got me thinking there. well, i do ask Jesus to grow in me daily as i receive Him in communion daily.

I can promise you one thing: if you humble yourself, stop partaking of Holy Eucharist until the time you are properly disposed, and repent to never sin again (not thinking, as I used to do before sinning, that you can confess tomorrow, because that is tempting God and could have a very unfortunate result), then you will be free from this sin by the grace of God. Because the Almighty never allows a temptation without giving us enough grace to be victorious.

promise is such a strong word that i don't take lightly. so im holding you accountable for that:)

Please, I advice that you meditate daily on the Blessed Virgin, possibly before an icon (painting, statue). Do this daily, for the only way to develop sheer disgust towards lust is to learn what purity is. And, paraphrasing a quote from a notorious secular movie, nobody can tell you what purity is: you have to see it for yourself. Abandon yourself in the arms of Our Lady, the Blessed Virgin, and you shall resemble her more and more.

maybe that is also the purpose of my confessor in asking me to pray 1 hail Mary everyday for one month as penance during my previous confession. and he told me to pray to Mama Mary to draw me closer to her Son Jesus.


#27

[quote="PerfectTiming, post:21, topic:302055"]
No they cannot. That is completely untrue. To quote Fr. Vincent Serpa, "It is impossible to know that one's contrition is perfect." (from this answer)

[/quote]

Furthermore, perfect contrition requires special graces and doesn't grow on trees. In order to have perfect contrition one must be contrite purely and 100% because they love God and know their sins have offended him. If it's even partially mixed with something else (ie: so you can receive communion) it's NOT perfect contrition.


#28

[quote="R_C, post:23, topic:302055"]

It is better not to attend daily Mass than to attend it and make a sacreligious Communion.
--Jen

[/quote]

please don't take this away from me too.


#29

[quote="pink8888, post:28, topic:302055"]
please don't take this away from me too.

[/quote]

No one is taking anything from you.

We are simply saying that you know you need to go to Confession.


#30

okay guys. you've made your point

so for now, i'll abstain myself from receiving holy communion

with regard confession...i have a lot of thinking to do.

thank you so so much


#31

Do not take things out of context.

1983 CIC 916: A person who is conscious of grave sin is not to celebrate Mass or receive the body of the Lord without previous sacramental confession unless there is a grave reason and there is no opportunity to confess; in this case the person is to remember the obligation to make an act of perfect contrition which includes the resolution of confessing as soon as possible.

First of all, there must be no opportunity to confess, but if canon law suggests you make an act of perfect contrition, then it must be possible.

It is true, you can’t know if your contrition is perfect, but perfect knowledge is not a requirement, all that is required is the standard of all human action, moral certainty. If you can say an act of contrition truthfully, intending it, then I think you would have moral certainty.


#32

[quote="pink8888, post:22, topic:302055"]
i know. and that is the reason why i do not want to confess that particular sin over and over again. but in time, (when i can prevent myself from doing the act) i will
.

[/quote]

That denies several reasons for confession. You confess to get the grace needed to amend your life. You confess to get back on the right path and reunite yourself with God and His Church.

You really can't stop going to confession (there is a mortal sin involved, with an uncertain level of culpability) and you can't stop going to Communion until you get this thing under control.

Go to confession, resolve to amend your life, and try. Even if you think failing is inevitable, your desire to try is what's important.


#33

[quote="pink8888, post:28, topic:302055"]
please don't take this away from me too.

[/quote]

This brings tears to my eyes. I would gladly give up communion myself for your sake. I will try to remember you in my daily prayers (see, this I don't promise because I know how easily I forget things...) but I do confirm my earlier promise.

[quote="pink8888, post:28, topic:302055"]
so for now, i'll abstain myself from receiving holy communion

with regard confession...i have a lot of thinking to do.

[/quote]

And because of this wonderful act of love and obedience, Christ, who longs to receive you with His whole heart, will shower an infinity of blessings and graces so that you may shortly replace this vice with the virtue of chastity.

Please, do confess often. Even venial sins and imperfections - though you are not required. Do not think that simply because you are still falling often, you cannot confess often. You can and you should. And if the priest absolves you and allows you to receive the Holy Eucharist (ask him directly) then do receive the Lord after confession, since you would be properly disposed. But don't take the absolution or the communion for granted! ;)

I recommend the book The Spiritual Combat by Fr. Lorenzo Scupoli. Chapter 19, "On the way to resist sins of the flesh", is very useful - but the whole book deserves to be read. It has helped me a lot. There was a time in which I thought that I was doomed to commit these sins forever. This book was the first step in my path towards chastity.

Also, I invite you to learn more about the Theology of the Body of blessed Pope John Paul II, because often Satan deceives us in making us repress things that should instead be placed in a state of equilibrium, or consider bad things that are actually very good in the right context. Again, this was the second step in my path towards chastity.

I still have plenty of steps before me, but now by God's grace I can focus on fighting other vices. That's why I dared to make that promise: I have no merit :D I believe because I have seen :D

Pax Christi tecum


#34

[quote="R_C, post:33, topic:302055"]

I recommend the book The Spiritual Combat by Fr. Lorenzo Scupoli. Chapter 19, "On the way to resist sins of the flesh", is very useful - but the whole book deserves to be read. It has helped me a lot. There was a time in which I thought that I was doomed to commit these sins forever. This book was the first step in my path towards chastity.

Also, I invite you to learn more about the Theology of the Body of blessed Pope John Paul II, because often Satan deceives us in making us repress things that should instead be placed in a state of equilibrium, or consider bad things that are actually very good in the right context. Again, this was the second step in my path towards chastity.

[/quote]

thank you for your recommendations. i've listened to some Christian books that i found online and have stopped now. i feel like some of those books were kind of harmful to me. beautiful books really, but they bring out a deep depression in me. like the books of St. Theresa of Avila for example...wherein she was always saying how wretched she is and how we are just worms...how she does not deserve God's love or any blessings.
my question then was if such a holy person as she thinks that way, how about me? and really, all my struggles are NOTHING compared to hers or anything that she is willing to accept.

so then comes the thinking that it might be good to stop struggling, stop believing, stop whatever since everything is for naught.

i've also listened to a book entitled mortification of sin which i think should be entitled mortification of lust since it speaks so much about lust


#35

Indeed, not all books are meant for all.

A truly inspiring book is "Story of a Soul" of the little flower st. Therese of Lisieux. While she knew all of the above, she does not focus on the fact that we do not deserve things, but on the fact that we receive them anyways, and oh how beautiful this is. You sound almost as if you were quoting her!! She also wrote that compared to those great saints she seemed to be a speck of dust...she then started to look for another way to holiness, a "little way"...and she found it, for her and for us....and she died at a very young age, but she is still honored as a Doctor of the Church, like s. Teresa of Avila, because what she discovered was a treasure for the Church.

I truly recommend it...even before the Spiritual Combat...you can hardly feel any depression after reading that book.


#36

[quote="R_C, post:35, topic:302055"]
Indeed, not all books are meant for all.

A truly inspiring book is "Story of a Soul" of the little flower st. Therese of Lisieux. While she knew all of the above, she does not focus on the fact that we do not deserve things, but on the fact that we receive them anyways, and oh how beautiful this is. You sound almost as if you were quoting her!! She also wrote that compared to those great saints she seemed to be a speck of dust...she then started to look for another way to holiness, a "little way"...and she found it, for her and for us....and she died at a very young age, but she is still honored as a Doctor of the Church, like s. Teresa of Avila, because what she discovered was a treasure for the Church.

I truly recommend it...even before the Spiritual Combat...you can hardly feel any depression after reading that book.

[/quote]

i had wanted to know about the story of St. Therese of Lisieux before - since it was recommended by my confessor. but the thing is, i don't see any audio books available freely online about her. was too lazy to read the text format available.. but since you mentioned how good it is (no promises now?) then i will download it now after i make this post.

again, thanks


#37

You're welcome! :)

I can't always be promising things, though :p Shouldn't our speech be: "yes, no"? I already will have to spend a very long time in Purgatory for every word I have spoken or written, imagine how much more if on top of that I start promising things :rolleyes: In this case I have given you the witness of the saints who have greatly benefited from this book, and the witness of a poor sinner (myself) who has also benefited to some extent.

Plus, I think there are audiobook versions of Story of a Soul out there :yup:

(P.s.: why are we both up at this time :compcoff:)


#38

because where i’m at, it is perfectly okay to be up and about. actually, it is not good to be sleeping at this hour here, which is 4:00pm :smiley:


#39

[quote="pink8888, post:38, topic:302055"]
because where i'm at, it is perfectly okay to be up and about. actually, it is not good to be sleeping at this hour here, which is 4:00pm :D

[/quote]

That's hilarious...then I'm the one who should be getting some coffee, I mean, healthy rest :yawn:


#40

[quote="gabz90, post:31, topic:302055"]
Do not take things out of context.

1983 CIC 916: A person who is conscious of grave sin is not to celebrate Mass or receive the body of the Lord without previous sacramental confession unless there is a grave reason and there is no opportunity to confess; in this case the person is to remember the obligation to make an act of perfect contrition which includes the resolution of confessing as soon as possible.

First of all, there must be no opportunity to confess, but if canon law suggests you make an act of perfect contrition, then it must be possible.

It is true, you can't know if your contrition is perfect, but perfect knowledge is not a requirement, all that is required is the standard of all human action, moral certainty. If you can say an act of contrition truthfully, intending it, then I think you would have moral certainty.

[/quote]

FYI: That canon is referring to priests celebrating Mass when they're in the state of mortal sin and there isn't another priest to absolve them.


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