Confession Concern


I went to Confession today and now I am worried may have invalidated my Confession. One of the things I confess was those online sexual role-playing games (which involves masturbation and causing scandal to others).

Anyway, I said to the Priest that one of the things is that does is it compound the sin since the people I role-play sexually online are sometimes as young as 16. Now, in Florida, where I live, this is legal as long as the other person is younger than 24 (it is stated that the age of consent is 16 if the other person is under 24). Now in other states, the rules can be and often are different.

Now, somehow, I worry that I mislead or was dishonest in telling the Priest that it is not a legal issue in Florida. I’m not sure how I mislead or was dishonest, since I am 23 and thus fall in the legal age range issue for Florida. I forgot if I mentioned that other states and other countries (remember, with this kind of thing like online RPing, you don’t know where the person lives and you only know the other person’s age because they may list it or you check with them to make sure they are old enough so it is not a legal issue) may have other rules, but I told the Priest that in our state (FL) it is not a legal issue. Again, I worry that I somehow mislead or was dishonest or something.

Should I just assume my Confession was valid and just check with the Priest at my next Confession?

It gets me so mad because I cannot even come out of Confession without worrying that I somehow rendered it invalid. It really ticks me off that I always worry about the validity of my Confessions and then I get nervous in Confession and then can end up forgetting stuff. It really angers me and I assume many of these fears are part of my Scrupulosity, but it still bothers me and angers me.



I’m thinking I will not receive Communion tomorrow at Mass and I will bring this issue up at my next Confession, which will be this week–I am getting back into the habit of weekly Confession.


It was an accidental mistake on your part, not dishonesty or lying. So don’t worry about it. You were talking to Jesus in the Confessional, not a normal person, and Jesus understood what your heart meant. The Confession was perfectly valid.

You’re doing wonderfully in trying to go to Confession every week! I’m sure Jesus is extremely proud of you right now. I sure am impressed by the faith your actions demonstrate. It’s glorious! May God preserve you in it forever :thumbsup:.


First, and right off, quit worrying: the confession and, most importantly, the absolution was valid. Yes, the absolution covered your attempted justification of the legality of the sin. Such is God’s great mercy! :slight_smile:


Now, not receiving Communion when you’ve received absolution would be a great mistake!

Allow Jesus to comfort you body and soul by his own Body and Soul.


:thumbsup: It’s really cool to hear you talking like this about God’s mercy, knowing how much you’ve struggled, and still struggle, with this same issue. God is so obviously building your life.


Oh, I have no doubts about the power of the confessional! It’s only what I do outside that glorious sacrament that requires many Hail Marys! :o


Now, earlier, I got angry and frustrated over this Scrupulosity issue while I was praying. I let out a scream/yell and may have uttered some profanity–it wasn’t really directed at God, just frustration over these issues and how much they bother me. Then, I got hit with a temptation to do a sexual sin (masturbation/sexual RPG), which I did not do, but I worry I entertained the notion and committed the sin in my head, especially since, before I read what you all said, it crossed my mind: my Confession is invalid, still in mortal sin, so what if I had another. As I said, I DID NOT DO A SEXUAL RPG/MASTURBATION, but I worried that I committed the sin in my head since it crossed my mind.


lol or should that be crying instead…i hear and know exactly what you mean…


Then, it was a venial sin, at best.

Let it go. Just try to remember that Jesus is our Advocate before he is our Judge.

Take your mind off spiritual matters for awhile, and trust in the Lord. Go listen to some Miles Davis jazz…or whatever :slight_smile:


This thought is a sin if you entertained it with full consent. If you were fighting it and didn’t consent to the presence of the thought as it passed through your mind, it’s not your fault and isn’t a sin.

I think if you did purposely entertain the thought, though, that is still a venial sin rather than mortal, so you wouldn’t have to abstain from Communion. I’m not completely sure on this point, though. Could anyone else clarify it???


I said venial because it sounds as if our brother has something of an addiction to both sex and this role-playing business. I don’t know how he could’ve fostered full and deliberate consent, especially considering the weight of despair he’s currently under.


I didn’t actually do anything physical this time, but the idea/thought/temptation crossed my mind.


I don’t think it’s even venial. You just said the thought only crossed through your mind. You didn’t purposely entertain the thought. Being tempted is not the same as committing sin. Else Jesus would have committed sin in the desert, when tempted by the devil, simply because the devil attacked him. The devil doesn’t get automatic victories. He has to have the consent of a person’s will in order to win a victory, great or small.


I always worry though, especially about Confession. I always worry that somehow, it is invalid. Either I worry I did not go into enough detail, I forgot a sin, I mislead the Priest or I just cannot put my finger on it.

I get nervous when I go to Confession which does not help. I tend to talk fast, especially about embarrassing sins (i.e. intrusive thoughts that are just nasty), but then I worry am I invalidating the Confession.


Whoa,Back up right there.
confess only the nature of the sin not the acts/thoughts that go with it…
for example i committed the sin of fornication 20 times this week,in my thoughts…
i commited the sin of adultry 20 times this week in act and thought…
i gave in to the temptation and enertained sexual thoughts,one could replace this with impure thoughts 20 times this week…

these are examples only not suggesting that you committed this number of sins or types
Doing it this way helps prevent your mind from being tempted by those thoughts that have accompanied these sins…


Talking fast is just nerves. It doesn’t invalidate the Confession. If your intention is sincere and you aren’t trying purposely to hide how bad the sin is, as far as detail is concerned, you also don’t have to worry. If you’re purposely trying to hide sins, that’s not good, but you aren’t. You’re just forgetting occasionally and nervous. That does not invalidate the Confession. God is greater than that, He knows your heart, and He’s the one you confess to in the confessional, not the priest. God’s mercy is much, much greater than your mind and transcends what you remember and what you forget to mention. Your intention is sincere, so you don’t have any reason to worry.

I’m sure your priest can give you some better advice or thoughts about this, though, if you still feel troubled. Priests tend to have a lot of wisdom and experience, and it’s good to listen to it.


Well, I spoke fast when I was confessing some intrusive thoughts ( These are thoughts that enter my mind–usually nasty, sexual and/or violent. They would be about God, the Virgin Mary, homosexual, pedophilial, etc. and they are not thoughts I want or anything. They are nasty and, unfortunately, a key symptom of Scrupulosity. Well, when I was telling the Priest the thoughts, I spoke quickly when I mentioned some of the nasty sexual thoughts that cross my mind because they are embarassing and I don’t want the Priest to think I’m a pervert because it is not really like that. Even though I have read they are not sinful thoughts, I still worry and confess them because I worry that through sins (i.e. lust or anger), it is kind of like I invite these thoughts in or something.


I think the question is whether you intend to deceive the priest in the confessional, or withhold something. If you accidentally left something out or didn’t give enough information, then I think it’s still valid. I would be careful though about justifying your sins or trying to make them seem not as bad as they are. It’s an act of humility for sure.

Pray to God before going in, asking for the grace to make a good and valid confession, and not to be too ashamed to confess anything. Ask for God to speak through the priest to tell you what you need to hear. (Got that idea from St. Faustina’s writings.)


I think that’s exactly right. That’s what I’ve always heard.

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