Confession help me?!

Hi I am about to receive the sacrament of confirmation and before that I have to go do confession. I’m an introvert so I hate talking to people especially in situations like confession. I really wanna make a good confession…any tips? I don’t have behind the screen in my church and I can’t go to a neighbouring parish as it has to be done in my parish only.
Another thing is that I am 15 and I’m dating this guy and my parents don’t know about it. Is it a sin? Should I confess it??

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  1. Just be honest and don’t hold anything back. Not telling a mortal sin you’ve committed in confession that has not already been absolved is an invalid confession. Ask the priest for help if you need it.

  2. Well, would your parents be angry at you for dating him? Have they said not to date at all yet, not to date him specifcally, or to ask for permission to date? Is he going against his parents by dating you? Have you lied to your parents about dating him? Have you committed sexual sins with him? I’m not telling you to say what you have done and what you have not done online, but just make sure to review that. Look up a Catholic examination of conscience to review sins you’ve committed. It would probably be best to just tell your parents you are dating him.

Remember, mortal sin is grave matter, full knowledge that it’s a sin, and full consent. Venial sins are when not all 3 conditions are fulfilled. Mortal sins must be confessed in confession, and you cannot receive Communion while in the state of mortal sin (unforgiven/unabsolved of a mortal sin.) Venial sins are optional to confess, but should be confessed.

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When you go to confession the priest is there in Christ’s place. Christ knows you are dating. I would confess that AND that you are keeping that secret from your parents. There are no secrets with God.

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Why does it have to be done in your Parish? It seems very restrictive. We are permitted to confess anonymously and thus the priest would not know who you are. I could anticipate that you would feel more comfortable and make a better confession. It doesn’t seem right to ‘force’ you into face to face confession in a single church - are they going to take a register or something?! If you are old enough to be confirmed surely the catechist(s) and your usual priest should be willing to take your word that you have been to confession at an appropriate time because lying about it would be a sin and ‘defeat the whole object’!
My first confession (as an adult) actually turned out to be face to face but with a lovely Priest I had never met before who, sadly, I’ve never seen again (not that I haven’t confessed again!).

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Check out Luke 8:17 and Luke 12:2.

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More than this, we’re permitted to confess to any priest of our choosing - you cannot be coerced into confessing to a particular priest.

Canon 991 - Every member of the Christian faithful is free to confess sins to a legitimately approved confessor of his or her choice,

Priests also have an obligation to hear the confessions of any of the faithful who seek this at any reasonable time

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If you have a sin you think you might have a tough time confessing, write it down on a note and give it to the priest. Whatever it takes. They have heard it all before, all of it. The priests WANT us to unburden ourselves, they understand more than we do how important it is. Most of all, relax!

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It may be that everyone will be going to confession as a group/class. Often teens have a retreat before confirmation and part of that may include the opportunity for reconciliation.

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I don’t think that counts you have to speak it if you are able to don’t you ?

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You would be in a pickle if you had taken a vow of silence wouldn’t you?:thinking:

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Surely if writing it down was permissible(except where the person physically can’t speak to the priest ) you would hear about people doing it all the time.

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Write your confession down and read it out. Will make it much easier. Here’s my template which I use:

Confession:

  • Signum Crucis

Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I’m a married man, and my last Confession was x

Please forgive my sins:

Sins of pride -

Sins of wrath -

Sins of envy -

Sins of lust -

Sins of gluttony -

Sins of sloth -

Sins of greed -

Please forgive me for all of these sins, any sins I may have forgotten, and all sins of my past life.

Act of Contrition:

O My God, I am heartily sorry for having offended you, and I detest all my sins because of your Just punishments; because I dread the loss of heaven and the pains of hell, but most of all because they offend you, My God, Who are All Good, and deserving of all my love. I firmly resolve, by the help of your Grace, to amend my life, to do Penance, and to avoid every near occasion of sin. Amen.

Or:

My God, I am sorry for my sins with all my heart. In choosing to do wrong and failing to do good, I have sinned against you whom I should love above all things. I firmly intend, with your help, to do penance, to sin no more, and to avoid whatever leads me to sin. Our Savior Jesus Christ suffered and died for us. In his name, my God, have mercy. Amen.

Or:

Father of Mercy,

like the prodigal Son

I return to you and say:

“I have sinned against you and am no longer worthy to be called your son.”

Christ Jesus, Savior of the world,

I pray with the repentant thief

to whom you promised Paradise:

“Lord, remember me in your kingdom.”

Holy Spirit, fountain of love,

I call on you with trust:

"Purify my heart,

and help me to walk as a child of Light."

Amen.

Penance:

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Not only does it invalidate the confession, but it also adds the sin of sacrilege to your other sins. Hence the old saying which goes something like “walk into confession with 2 sins, confess 1, walk out with 3.”

In other words, if you’re not ready to fully confess all your sins and plan on holding something back, you’re better to just not go and wait till you’re ready to confess everything.

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Just found a reference. The CCC does say “with the lips” but you have to wonder if they mean that literally or it means face to face. I know the writing way has been done, though the confessor asks “are these your sins?” It may very well be that handing a priest a note in confession would not suffice. Just thinking out of the box for the OP.

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I know what you mean. OP there’s nothing wrong with reading your sins from a list but part of the sacrament is speaking them out loud and going thru that penitent process. It’s meant to be challenging really. You can shut your eyes or look down at your lap if you don’t have a booth or screen. I felt like this for my first one, as an adult convert. Turned out to be one of the best experiences ever and continues to be so every time I go. You will never regret going and generally, priests know just what to say. They really have heard it all before so don’t worry !

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I like to call the Sacrament of Confession “the door to the Eucharist.”

IMO, no other Sacrament fosters humility and strengthens your conscience more than the Sacrament of Confession.

I would go so far as to say it’s nearly impossible to go to weekly confession and be a prideful person at the same time…

Also IMO - you should have no less than a 4:1 Eucharist to Confession ratio if you’re only receiving Communion on Sunday’s. I find it impossible to believe that anybody could have 0 sins to confess after a month… And venial sins are included.

You can even confess sinful tendencies and past sins if you’re really hard pressed…

But I’d recommend in the strongest terms every practicing Catholic make at least a monthly confession, or biweekly or (my practice) weekly confession. And if you’re battling a particular sin, even daily confession may be useful for a time.

Confession is the #1 most neglected Sacrament in the Church today, yet also the #1 most needed Sacrament in the Church today.

All hail the great Sacrament of Confession, the door to the Eucharist.

(I like confession, can you tell?)

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I can tell :joy:. Where I’m from it’s not possible To go to daily confession but weekly is on offer and is very well attended. I like to go once a month.

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Like I said weekly, bi-weekly, and monthly are the 3 most common intervals amongst practicing Catholics.

Pope Francis has stated he makes bi-weekly confessions, and St. Pope John Paul the Great made weekly and sometimes daily confessions.

St. Mother Teresa was also said to go to confession daily.

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The Code of Canon Law, #964.2, if I understand it correctly, guarantees you the right to confession behind a screen. (Whether the church is actually setup for it or not may be an issue, but it’s your right.)

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However, this is at the end of the RCIA program before coming into the Church. First Confession is always done at the parish of the RCIA. After that we are free to go to any priest wherever.

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