Confession help?

I am not sure if this is in the right section, I am not sure where to put this, but here it goes.

I have questions about confession (and if anyone else does, please ask here to)

Such as:

Must we ALWAYS go to the Same Confessor.
How specfic and detailed do we have to be.
Must we confess past sins we forgot to confess the last time?

  1. No, we don’t need to always go to the same confessor. You can go to any priest for confession.

  2. Specific enough to say what the sin is. But not so detailed as to tell a lengthy story. (For example, “I committed adultery twice. I stole $10.” But not, "well, I met this guy in a bar and, we talked, and then…etc… Or “I stole something.” (Could be a penney or a thousand bucks; it makes a difference.)

  3. If we forgot to confess them, they are already forgiven in the last confession. But it’s a good practice to mention them. “Last time I forgot to confess this:” If we deliberately withhold a sin, then we must confess it as well as all the other sins mentioned in the last confession.

No. We do not have to go always to the same confessor. Though it can be very good. Those with a difficulty with scruples are encouraged to go (at least when they can) the the same confessor.

We only have to confess mortal sins. And they have to be confessed in number and kind…one would add only the details needed …such as would change the nature of the sin…for example …if one murders one’s husband one needs to add this or if one steals a large amount of money that needs to be said…etc.

I accuse myself of murder one time and it was my wife that I murdered. I accuse myself of lying under oath 2 times.

ONLY mortal sins need to be confessed. If we forgot a mortal sin --then the next confession that we remember we need to confess it.

Venial sins are good to confess…and the Church recommends strongly we do so …but one does not then need to confess all of them…and they need no numbers…or other details.

I accuse myself of impatience, lying, and some selfishness…

Only if it was MORTAL does it need to be mentioned in the next confession…and only if we deliberately withhold a MORTAL sin would we need to reconfess it and any other mortal sins that were confessed at that confession as well as deliberately withholding it.

One of course need never confess doubtful sins.

You are right. I would hate to make anyone scrupulous over venial sins or forgotten sins.

Must we ALWAYS go to the Same Confessor.
no you don’t always have to go to the same confessor, although it is good to have one that knows you(in the confessional) well enough to keep an eye on your progress or regress, and it’s always good to stick with a priest who tends to give you really good advice.

How specfic and detailed do we have to be.
you simply have to name all the mortal sins committed since your last confession, the type and number as nearly as you can remember, and any important conditions or circumstances, you are not obligated to confess your venial sins, although you are strongly recommended to do so, because by mentioning them you gain very special graces to overcoming them.

“*Must we confess past sins we forgot to confess the last time? *”
Yes you must, although you are forgiven of all your sins even if you forgot to mention them the last time(if you truly intended to mention them) but you have to mention them so your priest can give you your penance or tell you for sure if it’s forgiven(which it most likely would be)
although if you did not know something was a mortal sin and committed it, and later found out that it was a mortal sin, you do not need to confess that, but simply from then on try not to commit that sin again, although it’s ok to confess it anyways if that would make you feel better.

ok well any other questions feel free to ask,
hope this helps, tc.

The hard part is determing whether something was grave matter or not. I can’t really tell the difference between something serious, and something silly. (I know murder = bad, and a white lie = not so bad) but when you get to the border, between the two it is foggy.

I always assumed I had scrupulousity because I felt like I had many of the symptoms.
It has gotten much better, but there are times when I doubt if I even have scrupulousity.


SO if we forget to confess a MORTAL sin, it must be confessed next time around?
I sometimes wonder if it is venial or mortal so it is hard.
What about sins you confessed in the past, but then you remember that yuo didn’t give all the details (there was something worse on top of that that I forgot to mention) do you have to reconfess it, over and over again, untill you get all the esential details in? Or if you confess it once the best you can is it over with?

yes, just confess as best as you can, to worry about it that much would be scrupulous, you do not have to add every little detail to your sins, just the most important details which would change the nature of the sin(such as fornication, whether you had sex with the same or opposite sex, or with more then 1 person, would change the nature of the sin)

if you are not sure whether something was mortal or venial, then you did not meet the requirement of committing a mortal sin, which is - knowledge(full advertence on the part of the intellect), free will(full consent), and grave matter,

the best thing to do when you are not sure is simply ask your priest, and also try and get a good examination of conscience.

This is were a regular confessor is a good idea! :slight_smile: and if you do have scrupulosity …it can actually be part of it that you doubt it! for its very nature is to cause you to doubt. but my advice is try to see one good priest …and work these things out with him.

maybe it is a good idea to ask your priest if he thinks you have a difficulty with scruples…and when he says yes…then ask if you can then follow the advice often given to those with scruples…and he will say yes…and then you will feel at ease following such. of course ask him what you should do…he will help. if not him…see another.

If one doubts it was mortal – ONE IS NOT OBLIGED TO CONFESS IT.

So no worries.


If you murdered your husband and forgot to say it was your husband…the next time you go to confession (in prison …:wink: ) you will say I forgot to say it was my husband that i murdered.

But again ONLY NEEDED DETAILS of mortal sins. not step by step of the sins…

doubtful details …are like doubtful sins…not needed. of course you can also ask your confessor about things to help one form ones conscience…

You do sound a little scrupulous, and in that case I would urge you not to worry unduly about such matters. If you don’t know for sure if something is a mortal sin or not, then it’s not. When you receive absolution, ALL your sins are forgiven, including those you forgot.

Things that make a venial sin into a mortal (one lied but it was in court under oath)or a mortal sin into a venial (such as one did not give full consent) or one steals a gold cup…and it happens to be a chalice from the church…

Not other unnecessary details!

I accuse myself of murdering my wife (once…) and stealing a chalice from church one time.


I accuse myself of going to the room where my wife was reading…she was reading some novel…and I went over to the closet and took out my gun…and loaned it …then I walked over to her and shot and killed her.

and i then went to the Church…and snuck into the sacristy and hide in the closet until the Priest left …and then i opened the cabinets and looked for the best chalice…and then I stole it…and drove away in my car…


My priest told us at RCIA that when in doubt about sin (especially for those of us for whom this is the first confession) confess what is weighing the most heavily upon your heart first, and confess other sins as they come to you.

This is what I would say is now getting desperate its almost my first confession and its getting me down , my parents are divorced and I’m 14 when I was 10 or so I took almost £100 from my mums boyfriend and I can’t pay himback at all because of my age …, what will my confessor tell me to do …? :frowning:

you are very right that we have an obligation to make restitution …if we steal something to return it.

however if it is impossible …we are not obliged to do the impossible.

in your case…please do not fear…but be contrite and go to confession …and tell the Priest what the was stolen and about your age etc…and he will give you direction as to what to do. But in any case do not fear…

Jesus loves you and is pleased with your desire to come follow him!

So instead of telling my mums boyfriend and causing lots of trouble he gets like tht and he will probs stop me seeing my mum or kick my mum out ] i would be expected to pay money to charity
was this a mortal sin …?

as mentioned above…talk with the Priest in confession…(and even if you could give to charity instead…since you are 14 and unable to pay it at once…I am sure it could be done as you can…like a small amount a month)

as to mortal sin…

you would have to judge this based on the moment you did the sin (and if one does commit a mortal sin…one would need to goto confession before Communion)

But in anycase…you will want to mention it in confession for the advice even if it was not a mortal sin.

From the Compendium of the Catechism:

  1. When does one commit a mortal sin?


One commits a mortal sin when there are simultaneously present: grave matter, full knowledge, and deliberate consent. This sin destroys charity in us, deprives us of sanctifying grace, and, if unrepented, leads us to the eternal death of hell. It can be forgiven in the ordinary way by means of the sacraments of Baptism and of Penance or Reconciliation.

  1. When does one commit a venial sin?


One commits a venial sin, which is essentially different from a mortal sin, when the matter involved is less serious or, even if it is grave, when full knowledge or complete consent are absent. Venial sin does not break the covenant with God but it weakens charity and manifests a disordered affection for created goods. It impedes the progress of a soul in the exercise of the virtues and in the practice of moral good. It merits temporal punishment which purifies.

PS: I started on the road to becoming a Catholic when I was 14…so I am very happy to see another 14 year old set out to follow Jesus Christ as his disciple with seriousness!

Keep following him! He is the meaning of our lives and of everything!

My rebirth in the faith happened at about 13 years of age :slight_smile:

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