Hey everyone! Thanks for helping me!
First off, I am a teenager and I am going to confession tomorrow. I’ve done a whole bunch of sexual stuff I’m not proud of, and I don’t know how specific I need to be in my confession. I try to be a good person, and I really never directly harm anyone. However, I still have an addiction to internet pornography. I am really ashamed of it, and I really just want to get it off my back.
I have been reading online, but I am still unsure. I know that I have confessed the sin of looking at pornography before, but I never thought of this until now. Specifically, I am talking about child pornography and bestiality pornography. NOW, please don’t go off thinking I am a huge pervert, I don’t believe I am. Only in a small number of instances (only about 1% - 0.5% of the time in the bigger picture) at that first kind of pornography. Sometimes, if I am searching, I come across it, but I make a point to look away because of how wrong it feels. However, I did end up looking at two things I am sure of (and ashamed of). The first ‘type’ is called hentai. Basically, it is cartoon (anime) pornography, often with young cartoon women (they are not real people or pictures, just drawings). Secondly, I know that I have looked at (come across) teen pornography, but NEVER under the age of what I thought was 16 or 17; I know that anything below that was wrong. Would this be considered a separate thing I have to confess, or just under the whole heading of ‘pornography’?
Please be aware that these specific things are NO LONGER A PROBLEM. I now realize how truly wrong they are and how sorry I am, I still sometimes relapse with normal pornography (even though there is nothing ‘normal’ about it), but I try hard every time to quit, and am currently struggling right now. However, I think confession can help me on that path.
Also, about beastiality pornography, I looked at what is called ‘furry’ pornography, which is like anthropomorphic drawings/cartoons of humanoid/animals. Please, would this be considered under the whole heading of ‘pornography’?
All I want is a clean slate with God, I am truly sorry for what I have done. I am just confused as to what to confess. I really do not want to confess them specifically (it would be embarrassing and shameful, but I will if I have to). I just do not want to say ‘looking at _____ pornography’ because then I feel the priest will get the wrong idea, and he will think that I am really falling into that trap, when it only occurred in one or two situations.
I also am wondering, if I have to confess these things specifically, what ways can I say them that the priest will get the idea but still not in graphic detail? For example, instead of saying ‘I have had sexual fantasies about my friends and other people’, I would say ‘I have had impure thoughts about my friends and others’. That is one substitute I use, but the priest still gets the idea.
Also, I haven’t 100% beaten this addiction yet. Should I wait until I have completely beaten it to confess these sins?
Thanks so much for reading this! It means so much to me! :o