I’m new here. Sorry if this is long winded.
I attend a non-religious men’s group and I recently brought up an issue I’ve been struggling with for over 20 years. One of the guys suggested I go to confession. The problem is, is that I’ve never gone to confession and I don’t really understand it or even how to do it for that matter. But the thought of being forgiven for this sounds amazing.
During my Communion we did the type of confession done in a special mass. It’s been 20 years since so I forget the term. Reconciliation Mass?
A little back story. I pray daily - just to God and thank him for all the blessings he’s given me and my family and to make my requests. One of the problems I’m facing is that I’m not sure what I believe. And I realize I’m not the only one who has ever questioned the existence of God, but I wonder how much of a hypocrite I am asking for forgiveness if I’m not 100% in my beliefs.
Then there’s the matter of not understanding what is a sin and the 2 types of sins. In my current situation I am unmarried and have a child with my partner of 15 plus years. We’re very much husband and wife in all aspects outside the church. She’s not open to religion at all. It’s a long story but the gist of it is that her mom suffered a terrible illness and she questions why God would punish her like that.
Getting back to my sins… I know the Catholic Church is against premarital sex and I honestly don’t see my personal life changing. So if I go to confession and tell Father this, I’m supposed to stop doing this, right? In other words, if I don’t see it as a sin but the church does…?
I’m pretty scatterbrained right now. I really only want forgiveness or closure on one of the bigger sins of my teenage past - something my therapist and I have discussed but I can’t let go. But I know if I go to confession I have to confess all my sins, of which, some I don’t recall or feel are sinful.
Should I go to confession or continue my life as it is? Talk to a Priest face to face before I confess and let him know all the things I’ve just written?