Confession of adultry

I am in the process of rejoining the church. I was away for about 30 years. In the course of being away, I got married, had 2 children. Now that I am in the process of rejoining the church I am getting my marriage blessed, getting my children baptized and confirmed, and taking all of the classes that our priest recommended. This has all been a great experience and my family has grown stronger through the process.

The part that I am unsure of is my first confession. As I mentioned, I was away from the church from quite a while. During this time, I had relations before I was married. Since I was married, I only had relations with my wife, but I have objectified women by lusting over them on many occasions. Went to a number of Gentlemens clubs as well. Now that I am in the process of rejoining the church all of that is behind me. I am concerned that when I confess that the priest will make me come clean and make me tell all of this to my wife as part of my penance. If that is the case, surely she will leave me. Currently, my plan is to confess at the first chance I get, but I am concerned. Has anyone gone through a similar scenario?

I doubt he will make you tell, keep the past where it belongs,behind you,
Congratulations on starting again

I have not gone through anything close to what you describe, but I **can **tell you that no priest can make absolution conditional on revelation of the confessed sin(s) to any third party. He may encourage you to be honest with your wife, or he may not. But he cannot order you to do it, and he certainly cannot make that a part of your penance.

So be at peace, and make a good confession. :slight_smile:

God bless, and welcome home!

The Seal of Confession is absolute. A Confessor may never reveal sins he hears in confession and can never force the penitent to reveal anything.

Do not allow such fears to keep you away from Confession. Welcome back.

Thanks to all who have answered my question. This has lifted a great weight off of my chest.

God Bless

Priest shouldn’t do that.
But IF he did, you would be able to go to a different priest for confession to tell him this and ask him to change that penance to something else.

Yes you are right about those thoughts -you are completely right not to think those thoughts and to confess them
Welcome home to the church!

I doubt if he will; all the priests I know recommend NOT telling your spouse.

I had a similar scenario…Priest told me that I shold confess and move on. No good would come from sharing a past sin with our spouse…welcome back

It is my understanding that your priest can not require you to confess to your wife for penance. But no matter what the penance may be, it is far better than carrying the stain of your sin. Have faith and trust in God. Go to confession. :slight_smile:

Who cares about what other sinners think? As long as God, the sinless creator, forgives you, then you’re in good hands. :yup:

If your wife asks, tell. Otherwise, don’t rub salt in non-existent wounds.

You do not have to confess to your wife and your priest will not tell you to do so.

Nothing to add to the great responses you have already received but I will pray for you to make this confession as soon as you can. I assure you that the peace it will bring to your daily life will ease all of your concerns. Welcome back!


REMEMBER, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thy intercession was left unaided. Inspired with this confidence, I fly to thee, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother; to thee do I come; before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy hear and answer me. Amen.

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