Confession question


Hi all,

So I went to Confession today :smiley:

But here is my question:

How can I feel sorry for my sins? I don’t really. I want, I realy want to feel bad, but I just don’t.

Do you guys know what I mean?

I want to feel bad for offending God, but I just don’t.

Any advice out there?

Oh and feel free to ask questons!


Why did you go to confession then? If you dont’ feel bad for your sins? Did you say an Act of Contrition? If so, was that just words that you didn’t mean?


Well if you go because you atleast fear the consequences of sin; it’s called imperfect contrition and is valid… but idealy we shoot for perfect contrition which amounts to those things you mentioned… asking for forgiveness because you feel that you’ve hurt God by your sin.

Although if by saying you don’t feel sorry for your sins you mean that you plan on doing them again then this can invalidate the confession…

Actually I can’t say that I know what you’re going through, but at one point in my life I didn’t care enough to even confess them in the first place.




If you mean what you say in your Act of Contrition, then you should have no concerns :slight_smile:

See contrition isn’t so much about emotion, instead it’s about recognising that we’ve offended God and sincerely wanting to amend our lives, cease, and restore our relationship with Him. Just as love is a committed turning of the will to the beloved (even at times when the ‘warm fuzzies’ might be lacking), contrition is a committed turning of the will towards God, even when we don’t feel a warm fuzzy connection to Him.

What you have might be what is called imperfect contrition - you’re sorry for your sins but out of fear of hell or something other than pure and disinterested love of God. Imperfect contrition is sufficient for valid confession and absolution of sins. It’s only lack of any type of contrition that should really concern you - again, you almost certainly wouldn’t go to confession if you lacked any type of contrition at all.

If you want to progress further, pray for God’s gift of PERFECT contrition - which you cant manufacture or develop through any effort of your own, but which He is willing to give to those ho seek it. Pray persistently for it, and He will answer.


I am not sure, but it almost sounds like you simply don’t think those things were bad, so you don’t feel “sorry” for doing them.

See, you really sound like you care and are very thoughtful of God’s wishes. Even though you don’t “feel sorry,” you keep saying you “really want to” feel that way.

So, either you are looking for a “feeling” [emotion] that is not a requirement or you don’t believe what you did is actually wrong…just on the “list of don’t’s”.

Did you feel any healing? I have noticed even when I don’t fully understand something was wrong, after Confession, I feel a sort of “healing”…hard to explain…


Feeling sorry for hurting someone you love is a natural result of human emotion. You must realize:
*]what you’ve done
*]that you’ve hurt him
*]how/why you’ve hurt him.
Thus, in the case of sin, you must know and clearly understand the sin – then the gravity of the situation will sink in. Many masturbate, contracept and murder their unborn children and do not feel remorse, because they do not understand what they’ve done.

I therefore recommend reading more about the sins and what they’ve damaged. In my case, I’m currently reading Theology of the Body for Beginners by Christopher West, already having read his Good News about Sex and Marriage, and understanding why sins are bad and what God’s plan is helps me immensely in avoiding evil. It’s like any math or physics problem – you can’t solve a problem if you don’t understand its solution.

If you already have a mastery regarding knowledge of the sin in question, then I would recommend praying, going to Mass and Confession more often, etc. – essentially, try to grow in your spiritual life. Monday, I told a priest that I might have my priorities mixed up, occasionally placing my schoolwork before reading the Bible and “spending time with God”, etc. – the priest gave me great advice concerning my spiritual life: Don’t try to compartmentalize God, praying before a meal, and then eating the meal forgetting about God; as a college student, praying before a test, then forgetting about God while taking the test. Rather, everything you do, do it for the glory of God, for the will of God. Taking the test, going to work, do everything for the glory of God – in this manner the Holy Spirit lives within us. (I don’t mean that we should try to think about God every waking moment of our lives, but rather realize that God is everywhere and do everything to please him.)

A woman once told me about how her guardian angel followed her everywhere, thus she tried to always do things and go places where he’d be comfortable. It’s the same idea.

I hope this helps.


My question is why do we have to go to confession? When we can go right to god with our sins and what we did wrong and confess to him. I try to read and understand it but still don’t. I made my confession back when i was so young that you never really quiestion it. I just want to know in the bible where it says I have to go though a priest with my confession. I slipped away from catholic church about 8 years ago when I got divorce because it was because i got a divorce but this last year i am coming back. I think i left because i was a shamed of my divorce. So I just want to know more about why we do what we do in our church that been one of my question PLEASE HELP ME UNDERSTAND WHY!


caparisi, please create a new thread in the Apologetics board or read the threads already existing concerning your issue. See also several of the articles in the library. Off the top of my head, we go to Confession because it is what Jesus wants us to do – it is an institution that he established because he knows what we need and what’s good for us.

A question I have for you: Read the Gospel According to John 20.19-23; my Bible entitles the section, “Jesus Gives the Disciples the Power to Forgive Sins”. Now, why would he tell them to go forth and preach the gospel, and then give them the power to forgive and retain sins, if the gospel message was for you to pray directly and only to Jesus and God for the forgiveness of sins?

Historically, the Church traces its popes back to Peter, and historically, the claim is that Jesus established the Sacrament of Reconciliation, i.e. founded the institution of Confession. Why? Because God wishes to bestow his graces upon us in it, and Jesus knows what we need.


Go to your church and spend some time meditating on Christ’s passion, and pray the Sorrowful Mysteries. Gaze upon the Crucifix.

The Lord deserves all of your love. When you purposefully choose to sin, to act against God, you are betraying Him. You are betraying the Lord who gave you life, who came to Earth and was crucified for your sins, who loves you more than you can ever comprehend. You love God by trying to do His Will in your life; when you sin and act against His Will, you are not loving God but ignoring Him.


Amen. We are not souls without bodies, or pure intellectual beings like the Angels. We are human beings with 4 senses, and Christ came in the flesh to establish His Church and the Sacraments which enter through our senses. He left His Disciples with the power to forgive sins, as an extension of His Incarnation, knowing that we need to hear the words “I absolve you of your sins”. This power was passed on through succession to the Bishops and priests (extension of the Bishops) throughout the History of the Church. Christ gave us this Sacrament for the good of our soul and is the normative way our sins are absolved.


I think what is happening is, you’re getting hung up on emotion. Remorse for sin is not an emotion, just like love is not an emotion. It is all in the will, even if you feel contradicting emotions. Remorse for sins means you detest your sin and you are sorrowful for having offended Him. This sorrow can be manifested in many ways: tears, a guilt-like feeling, heart ache. You can offer it up to Jesus, too. So, if you had remorse for sin when you made an act of contrition, than you were contrite, and hence, your sacramental reconciliation was valid.


Thank You very much I wrote it down and i am going to go read.


If we really want something we have to ask. I can’t imagine God not answering a sincere prayer for something like strong conviction of and contrition for sin.


Hey, that’s what the forums are for. Have a blessed Holy Week.


Well, if you don’t feel the contrition, choose with your will (it sounds like that’s what you did). That’s imperfect contrition and is valid although you will need to choose not to sin again, using only your will (it’s easier if can you think of hurting Jesus if you sin). Pray, asking Him to let you feel your contrition for the sins you commit. It may take a little bit, but He’ll answer it - “how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him” Luke 11:13.


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