Confession Question.

Hello everyone… I have a question… Well first off I am happy to say that I made an appt. w/ our Fr. at my parish and I will be meeting w/him for Confession TOMORROW!! :). It has been MANY years since my last confession. I am very nervous to say the least but with prayers and encouraging words here as well as feeling a need to do it although I wouldn’t be able to recieve Communion still (only have been married to my husband by the justice of the peace thus far) I feel it something I want to do.
Ok so I have been reading and to me although I have always known all that I have read its like its the first time learning anything about our Lord. I am actually wanting to break them down and UNDERSTAND… as before it was something I “had” and just went through the motions and then going to the point of doing nothing at all…

So that brings me to me thinking of the 10 commandments…
So lets say someone was to have broken all 10. could they be forgiven? And if so how would that confession go would they have to confess to everything? I ask because since again as I said everything I did when I was younger was because I “had” to do it… so now I think about it and in my confessions I guess I would say the “usual” confessions… missed church,was mean to my brother didn’t listen to my mom… but NEVER EVER really broke down and really told what my real sins were. So I am thinking OH my goodness Have I never truly ever really confessed have I ever really been forgiven since I really never completed really confessed? (does that make sense) and that brings me to tomorrow’s confession… so now my life has been full of things that I say REALLY what was I thinking and well I was VERY DUMB when I was younger and although I have changed do I still say what I had done in my past or where do I start in my confessing?
I TRULY feel as I am for the first time really finding God… i can’t explain it but its this thrist I am feeling NEVER has it been there before. I feel ashamed to think Jesus has always been there and I have been taking him for granted and I now am seeing how he really loves me? That is AMAZING to me…It still is taking me time to really understand and accept it. One lesson that has stuck in my mind as I am taking a course of the Fruits of the Spirts… -Agapao is not a noun (a thing) but it is a verb (an action). WOW… ok I’m rambling… :slight_smile:

I again thank you for taking the time to read this as posting. :slight_smile:


Last I checked, confession was complete, no matter how many sins you have committed, as long as you repent/trying to repent. Also, included is this nice little clause: “…for these sins and any sins you may have forgotten…” which absolves you of even the sins you don’t remember. If it makes you feel better, just mention things that might be sins, and then forget about them afterward. Confession is rather my favorite sacrament, come to think of it…

Yes, you do want to make an in depth and thorough general confession remembering everything that comes to mind. For everything that you will forget, after stating all your sins then say, “I am sorry for all these sins and any I have forgotten.”

A good technique in remembering and “grouping” your sins together is to think of the seven deadly sins: pride, envy, gluttony, anger, lust, avarice, sloth. If you recall your sins in those categories you might make a deeper confession. Remember, too, not only your sins of commission but your sins of ommission.

As to being married, but not in the church, and resolving to continue to have relations with your spouse after your confession, then that part of your confession is not going to be very effective. Resolve to take the step further and live with your spouse as a sibling until you have your marriage blessed and validated by the church. It may take a matter of weeks or months but you will be amazed at how spiritually strengthened you (and your spouse) will become by abstaining for such a long time.

The Lord is so wonderfully happy to be with you and shed his enormous graces upon you tomorrow. Be happy and confident when you see the priest!

First of, I commend you for going to confession. A lot of people in my family refuse to go, and it’s gotten to the point where I’ve been more this month than they have been their entire lives.

All of your sins are forgiven if you say them or not. All you have to do is try to repent.

Here is a good resource for you. Go to Sacrament of Penance: Learn how to make a good confession and it helps with the examination of consience.

God Bless!


Ellie, it is wonderful that you want to go to Confession.

If you are in an invalid marriage, which it sounds like you are, you need to abstain from sexual relations until your marriage is valid in the eyes of the Church. Right now, the Church does not see you as married, so when you have sex, you are committing the sin of fornication, which is very grave. Mortal sins, which are grave sins committed with full knowledge and consent, keep Catholics from Communion.

If you go to Confession with the intention of continuing sexual relations in an invalid marriage, your whole Confession will be invalid. You must confess in kind and number to all of the mortal sins that you can remember, and you must intend to keep yourself from sin in the near future.

If you make a good Confession, including confessing to fornication with your civil-husband, and you abstain from sex, you may receive Communion. It is best to receive at a parish where people do not know you are in a non-Catholic marriage in order to avoid scandal.

May God bless you.

Ellie, your not alone in this feeling about Jesus. I went through the same thing. I pray that you have an excellent confession and you will be amazed at how you feel afterwards. PS Try and make it a practice to go every two weeks. Confession is a beautiful thing.

Praise Our Lord Jesus Christ… I feel so happy right now I am feeling so blessed and thankful… Just came back from confession. I am still in awe and am so happy. :D:D:D… hmm I am going back later tonight w/my husband to fill out the paper work for the caladvaltion of our marriage. Praise God… OHHH WOW… I do feel amazing right now… and think I am going to eat my breakfast (as I was too nervous this AM to do) and then pray! I AM SOOO HAPPY! Thank you all for your prayers and comments… ((HUGS)) and blessings to all!


Ellie, here’s a link to an examination of conscience that is very thorough and helpful for those who’ve been away from the Sacrament of Reconciliation for years.

Examination of Conscience (pdf)

There is no sin that is greater than God’s mercy to forgive in confession. You are absolved as long as you don’t deliberately hold back confessing grave sins. If you honestly forget to mention a sin, it is still forgiven. I find it helpful to take a written list into the confessional.

Ellie, I am so glad that things went well for you with confession. It is a wonderful gift that the Lord gives us.

I just wanted to add (for you or for anyone else with similar questions) something that I have realized over the past few years. there have been times when I confessed a specific, serious sin(s) and I know I have been forgiven. Time passes (years, maybe) and I come to a deeper understanding of WHY I committed those sins - say a lack of trust in God - and have eventually brought those things to the confessional, as well.

Sometimes I feel like I’m peeling an onion - getting to new layers of things…closer to the heart of the matter.

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